Friday, October 5, 2007

I Will Worship

Authentic worship comes from
a heart grateful to be found and to be free.

A few weeks ago, I reconnected with an old friend who was once a brother. The course of his life has led him from once walking as a Christ-follower to now living as a moralist who believes there is indeed a greater force at work, but not necessarily God, and certainly not an Abba Father. I guess I have difficulty in understanding how one could have known the tangible love of Christ and then made the decision to choose another way.

As for me, I am not that far removed from a hell-bound path. A decade and a half of life in Christ is so brief that I recall with ease the pain of separation from God. I remember walking this Earth by myself. Now, Christ is my way. He filled the void within me, and then took my hand and walks with me as I follow a straight path. I have been found by Christ, and no longer do I roam alone.

In light of time, the stench of death was here so recently that I still check for it, like one would check for the smell of sweat after a workout or an anxious day. But that stench is gone. Christ is my holy Febreeze. He is not the spray on kind, that merely masks the smell, but rather He is the In-Wash kind that infuses all the fibers and drives out the dank stench that once permeated. Addiction and devestation was rampant in me. It controlled me and it motivated me. Christ has provided for me a way out, and in Him, I have been set free.

Authentic worship comes from a heart broken.

Recently, someone mentioned to me our decision to publicly worship the Lord as we laid our son, along with our hopes and dreams, to rest. She wondered if she could do the same. Life is excrutiatingly hard, and whether a Christ-follower or as one who walks alone, trouble wreaks havoc on the human system.

Did I feel like singing praises to the One who could have intervened and didn't? No, but I decided to. Just as I decided to follow Christ in the first place. Bad comes along with all the good, and no matter what trouble comes my way, I will choose to bless His holy name. Worship is lovely when when there's love in the air, but worship is relevant when everything hurts.

Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord, I tell myself.
I will praise the Lord
as long as I live.
I will sing praises to my God
even with my dying breath.
Psalm 146:1-2


  • The Dukes Family

    I love reading your writing ... you're so good with the written word. And I love reading WHAT you write ... it's really neat to have a peek into your mind. Your walk with God is so encouraging to those that witness it.

  • Elizabeth

    Okay, I'm not copying Randi or anything, but goodness your writing is beautiful. I love how you express your heart's whispers. And it encourages/inspires/convicts me all at the same time. Is there a book in the works? :-)

  • Jenny James

    I LOVE your definition of Worhsip. Wow- this is the essence of what we tried to teach our camp children this summer. Authentic worship is truly my heart's desire... in all that I do and in all that comes my way, will my heart still choose to worship the Lord? I sure hope so. What a beautiful testimant to Him that you choose to authentically worship.
    And I agree with my friends above... your writing is beautiful and I love to glimpse in at your heart. God's hand is on you in a mighty way and I hope that you can see the work He is doing through you.

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