Join the Club

I found this blogger today. She hates the laundry, which makes me love her deeply. Plus, she has a tendency to be humorous, so read up.

In the spirit of Our Gang and the He-man Woman Hater's Club, I'm forming a club of my own. Henceforth, it shall be known that I am the founder and a proud member of the She-Woman Laundry Hater's Club.

Thank you.
Thank you all so much.

For Clarification: Lawnmower Racing

I posted on my "Getting to Know Your Friends" meme that my favorite sport is lawnmower racing. After puzzling some pals, perhaps I should clarify.

I am not a sports fan at all, really. We go to sporting events from time to time, but I only tag along for the frozen lemonade and corndogs as long as my forearm. My husband, though, is a sports fanatic. He loves sports maybe even a little bit more than he loves me. (If not more, then only slightly less.)

One day, he was watching TV as many men do -- blazing through channels as fast as the remote could go -- when he happened upon a sport I could appreciate. I really enjoyed mocking it more than I had a genuine appreciation for it, but the question on the meme was "What sport do you like to watch?," not "What sport do you hold in high regard?"

Lawnmower racing is a sport unto itself. Seemingly more popular in rural areas*, lawnmower racing is a sport where grown men soup up their John Deeres with flames and rollbars and then race each other around a track of hay bales. It is not a sport to be taken lightly -- I'm pretty sure a hay bale hurts if you plow into it 35mph. Additionally, at every race I think it's safe to say you can expect to hear a "Yeehaw" or two, and who wants to miss out on that? Not me, that's for sure.

Lawnmower racing is about inventiveness and creativity with a wee bit of crazy mixed in -- just like me.

Go ahead and watch it --
You know you want to.

*When I looked into lawnmower racing for this post, it turns out there are international associations for lawnmower racing, along with actual racing companies. I'm not sure if they have sponsors and all, but I guess it's not that improbable. Who knew?

Home...

Shelley at Itches and Scratches wrote this, and I, in the midst of my piles of dishes, toys, and laundry, laughed out loud.

"Home is where the heart is...
along with the piles of dirty laundry,
the sink full of dishes,
the dusty shelves,
the dirty floors,
the piles of toys,
the "coming off a sugar high" kids,
and the decorations of Christmas past, still up.
Can I come over to your house?"

Hamburger Bush

James used the new grill today and made lunch for the family. He grilled hamburgers, which we ate on whole wheat buns. When Bub began eating, he complimented James on his cooking and the general taste of his meal, but said he preferred McDonald's hamburger buns over the one he was eating right then.

Bub: "You wanna know why, Dad?"
James: "Sure, son -- Why?"
Bub: "Because they have seeds on them that you can either poke under the brown part or take home to plant a hamburger bush, and then you can eat hamburgers all the time when you're playing in the yard."

Frosty

My mom was bringing Gracie home from ballet and called to see if she could get her a Frosty. This time of year, my mind first went to a large animate snow monster, walking and talking and melting on the carpet. It actually took her clarifying she meant a treat from Wendy's for me to agree.

Elfed!

I was going to post about how much less generous I feel and how much less heart-warming my kids' giving lists were at Wal-Mart at 5:30 P.M. on payday Friday. I was going to post about how though I normally love Christmas and shopping and even crowds, I feel more bah-humbuggy when facing crowded parking lots, long lines, and grumpy cashiers. I was going to post all of that, but then I found this:

We've been elfed -- Check it out! Good for a Christmas chuckle.

What's Your Name?

I saw this elsewhere and had to post it here. Feel free to swipe it...

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name)
Lynn Ray

9. NASCAR NAME: (name of your mother's dad, fathers dad)
Elmer Charles

8. STARWARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, any 2 letters of your first name)
Hugda, or Hugma, or Hugam -- anyway you say it, there's a lot of Huggin' going on!

7. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, fav animal)
Green Giraffe

6. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Jo Dallas

5. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav alcohol drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Purple Merlot

4. FLY GIRL/GUY NAME: (1st letter of 1st name, 1st 3 letters of your last)
A-Hug (Now, that's fly!)

3. GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Rocky Road Oreo

2. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pets name, current street name)
Bailey Riverchase (Our most recent pet, Bailey, was shipped to Alaska. I'll teach you to poo in my shoe!)

1. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Ralph Lemonheads (The most unpopular stripper -- teehee!)

Business Time

The Essence of Married Life

(Just Kidding... Or Am I?)