Friday, November 14, 2008

My Christmas Wish Does Not Involve Toothpaste

So, I'm hanging out on the couch with my father-in-law, enjoying a CNN-a-thon, when I see a commercial for the MUST HAVE product of the year -- the Touch n' Brush automatic toothpaste dispenser. It's a big plasic (or deluxe chrome!) contraption that, via vaccuum pressure, blasts pre-sized globs of toothpaste out onto your brush.

Evidently, we are a nation of people so lazy that we can no longer manually squeeze our own toothpaste tubes. Oh, I'm being unfair -- the product claim is not about sparing us that minuscule expenditure of energy (though a product reviewer said her daughter "liked the fact the she did not have to deal with the toothpaste, having to unscrew the cap and squeeze out the toothpaste"). Rather, the marketing campaign focuses on the magical preservation of the cleanliness of our bathrooms. Our sinks will be spared from messiness... FOREVER!

Honestly, I am not that concerned about drops of fresh toothpaste dotting the counter top. As a mother, I find myself more concerned about little boys failing to lift and lower the seat at the appropriate point in the process, little girls who dust the room with play make-up and glitter, mishung towels that fall in the toilet, plugged-up sinks that make inside oceans, and trash bins overflowing with entire boxes of Kleenex from a child trying to deal with one bat in the cave. A product that would keep my bathroom magically clean in light of all of that -- that is my Christmas wish.

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