Grief

"Are these jottings morbid?
I once read the sentence,
"I lay awake all night with a toothache,
thinking about toothache
and about lying awake."
That's true to life.
Part of every misery is, so to speak,
the misery's shadow or reflection:
the fact that you don't merely suffer
but have to keep on thinking
about the fact that you suffer.
I not only live each endless day in grief,
but live each day thinking about
living each day in grief."

-- C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed