tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47081811431238052962024-03-13T08:08:42.650-05:00Mandigirl MusesMuse (myōōz) v. <i>mused, mus·ing, mus·es</i><br>
To be absorbed in one's thoughts; engage in meditation.<br>To consider or say thoughtfully.<br>
<i>I will meditate on your precepts, and consider your ways.</i><br>Psalm 119:15Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18084180906313665734noreply@blogger.comBlogger805125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-17271190877008987862013-02-28T13:54:00.000-06:002013-02-28T13:54:09.988-06:0022 + 1Today I am 22 weeks and one day pregnant with <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2013/02/a-happy-surprise-awaiting-baby-6.html">our newest little guy</a> -- the exact gestational age I was when <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2007/10/so-i-wouldnt-forget.html">I delivered our son Zachary</a> nearly six years ago. Historically, this has been an <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2009/04/that-day-and-this-day.html">emotional milestone</a> for me, and today really is no different. In an average pregnancy <i>(and really even in my pregnancies)<i></i></i>, there is nothing particularly threatening about being 22 + 1, but in my case, I just can't help but remember how one average everyday turned into possibly the most sorrowful point of my life.<p>
Though the tears still fall when I read Zachary's birth story and recall his death, I am so deeply moved by the Lord's faithfulness towards me in those dark moments and beyond. There were sleepless nights and hard questions to ask, but He was there and waiting to wrestle. I remember reaching a time of such heartache and confusion that I could no longer find the words to pray for myself, and how the Lord met me there by <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2008/07/when-i-cant-pray-for-myself.html">burdening the heart of a literal stranger</a> who had no idea of the grief I was in, yet who pulled my phone number from the air to call and tell me that she was praying for me. I remember reaching a point where <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2007/09/hannahs-hope-and-my-issac.html">every bit of it went on an alter</a>, and the work of "trying again" was over. Though my suffering was intense and lengthy, He was there beside me all along, and I am so grateful. His word was truth in my life: "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18).<p>
<center><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibyOdVaCNAzx1_Y0sBJFU4myCHElEI7jAmph9Pt9fT4IywcAtf38M_lDOLOurgJeppkGsQsU08huxF4fx49wYaZT3Y30ALW2S7YnNs4rBsRGopg4gF63re_w89LyXfOxdLU796NyKTqwU/s1600/photo+(11).JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibyOdVaCNAzx1_Y0sBJFU4myCHElEI7jAmph9Pt9fT4IywcAtf38M_lDOLOurgJeppkGsQsU08huxF4fx49wYaZT3Y30ALW2S7YnNs4rBsRGopg4gF63re_w89LyXfOxdLU796NyKTqwU/s320/photo+(11).JPG" /></a></br><font size="1">The "Prom Pose" loses its luster when you're pregnant and surrounded by kid paraphernalia,</br>and your husband is too busy laughing at your ten-year-old photographer to have a serious smiling face.</font></centeR><p>
And here I am now -- still so surprised to be once-again pregnant, and so amazed to be moving along nicely in this surprise pregnancy. For all intents and purposes, I am as infertile as I've ever been. Besides the placement of a <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2008/01/though-theyre-helpful-cerclages-are.html">transabdominal cervicoisthmus cerclage</a> to assist in preventing late-term losses, I've had no fertility surgery, no procedure, not one thing done to rationalize the unexpected and explosive growth of our family. The single explanation I have is that we're walking out a real-life restoration of "the years the locusts have eaten" (Joel 2:25). While part of me wishes I had some answers to this change -- something specific to offer to other women with hearts broken like mine -- I am grateful to be on the opposite side of the abyss. A friend told me yesterday that she's been feeling very sad, missing friends <i>(namely me)</i> who are still busy with the baby stage, and while I wish my friend well, I wouldn't trade long, leisurely coffee dates for anything I have now. That's not to say things don't get hard and I don't enjoy it when the babysitter comes by, because they do and I do, but my season of unscheduled free-time has been overcome by pacifiers and poopy pants, and I could not be a happier woman for it.<p>
<p>
<center><i>"'Even now,' declares the Lord, 'return to me with all your heart,</br>
with fasting and weeping and mourning.'</br>
Rend your heart and not your garments.</br>
Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate,</br>
slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.</br>
Who knows? He may turn and relent and leave behind a blessing..."</i></br>
<b>-- Joel 2:12-14a NIV</b><p>
<i>"He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children.</br>
Praise the Lord."</i></br>
<b>-- Psalm 113:9 NIV</b><p>
<i>"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,</br>
the fruit of the womb a reward."</i></br>
<b>--Psalm 127:3 ESV</b><p></center>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-11082739672399869832013-02-11T14:22:00.000-06:002013-02-11T14:23:01.919-06:00Visit to the Perot Museum<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We spent Sunday afternoon exploring the new <a href="http://www.perotmuseum.org/">Perot Museum of Nature and Science</a> in downtown Dallas. It's a state-of-the-art museum with interactive exhibits and a fantastic play area for the preschool set. All in all, it's a really nice addition to the Metroplex. Because it's a new attraction, and because we visited on a sunny weekend day, the place was packed. However, we snagged a surprisingly affordable charter membership before going, so we'll head back over there during special weekday members-only hours (when we'll likely share the whole place with preschoolers and other homeschoolers).<p>
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Climbing Through<p>
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Smelling "Skunk Poop"<p>
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Admiring the Tarantula Hawk Wasp</br>
(before coming home to watch all the disgusting <a href="https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=tarantula+hawk+wasp&oq=tarantula+hawk+wasp&gs_l=youtube.3..0l8.20493.20493.0.20825.1.1.0.0.0.0.72.72.1.1.0...0.0...1ac.1.8nKACp_N2Ng">YouTube videos</a> we could find about them.)<p>
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Quad Stroller Interaction<p>
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Building in the Engineering Exhibit<p>
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Playing Piano<p>
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Shifting the Continents<p>
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Experiencing an Earthquake<p>
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Mommy as an Exhibit<p>
(My back was achy and my feet were still swollen after spending seven-ish hours at a
gorgeous wedding and reception the night before, so the littlest ladies and I spent part
of the day moving from bench to bench in the exhibit halls where people "admired"
our large stroller, our larger family, and my ever-expanding girth. As an aside,
only one person actually nudged his companions and pointed our direction.)<p>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-39004973533908260772013-02-05T23:24:00.001-06:002013-02-05T23:30:51.210-06:00Playgroup Valentine Party 2013Brystol has been in a playgroup with the same bunch of six little friends for as long as she's been alive. Their mommies and I were all pregnant at the same time, so it's been fun to connect a couple of times a month over the last three years to play and visit and watch our little ones grow together. Brystol calls all her playgroup buddies her "best friends," and I really hope it stays that way for a very long time.<p>
Since the initial playgroup was formed, two of the other mommies and I went on to add more kiddos to our families <i>(both Elleigh and Piper fall in that second wave)</i>, and one of those same mommies and I are pregnant again right now. It'll be interesting to see if the second <i>(and third)</i> wave playgroup participants continue to get together even when the "original members" begin heading off to school.<p>
Today was our annual playgroup Valentine party. As a simple craft, all the kids decorated white bags with crayons, markers, and Valentine's Day stickers. The bags were meant for the collection of Valentines, which was awesome because I completely forgot to bring containers for my girlies. After craft time, we shared some snacks. For my snack table contribution, I brought some chocolate-dipped marshmallows inspired by Pinterest. The <a href="http://alisa-thesweetlife.blogspot.com/2011/02/easy-marshmallow-valentine-treats.html">original blogger</a> raved that her marshmallow snacks were super-easy to make, and stated they took her "all of about 10 minutes" to put together. They took me a LOT longer than 10 minutes to assemble, and while my product was no where near as cute as the original, they were tasty -- that is, if you were able to successfully peel away the mini-cupcake liners I carried them in. Needless to say, not a snack I plan to make again anytime soon.<center>
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Valentine Party Fun<p>
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Playgroup Friends (minus two)<p>
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Playgroup Friends with the Freshman Class<p>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-48061374470382885952013-02-04T21:54:00.000-06:002013-02-05T23:35:47.291-06:00A Happy Surprise: Awaiting Baby #6In October, our family got a happy surprise. Though we were <i>(and still are)</i> actively <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2013/01/overnight-in-austin.html">waiting to adopt</a> again, I'm pregnant! <i>(Due early July.)</i> We weren't trying for a pregnancy -- no medications, no timetables -- rather, we've just been extraordinarily blessed once again. After years of infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss, this new pregnancy came as an absolute shock. In fact, I still feel stunned, unprepared, and completely undeserving of such a blessing a large majority of the time. I am so very grateful.<p>
We made it through the first trimester without any significant upsets. There were a couple of precarious appointments initially, primarily related to those early first sonograms looking for the heart beat, but the issues we had were related to necessary date adjustments and not to any poor development of the baby. My initial due date was adjusted by eight days, and now baby and I are measuring right on target.<p><center>
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Me at 18 weeks pregnant</center><p>
Another fun tidbit: this baby is a boy! After a run of little ladies, it's finally time for a little more testosterone. A misread sonogram and a misread genetic test initially led us to believe this tiny one was another little lady, but my Maternal-Fetal Medicine specialist both reread the genetic test <i>("Y chromosome indicated")</i> and provided us with several clear ultrasonic images of baby boy parts. There's no denying it, and James and Bub couldn't be more thrilled! Now, if we could only decide on a name...<p><centeR>
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Waving Hello<p>
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It's a Boy!<p></centeR>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-57522559784648315782013-02-03T14:36:00.000-06:002013-02-05T23:30:51.214-06:00Preparing Simple Toddler ValentinesWith our Playgroup Valentine's Day party just around the corner, the little ladies and I put together some simple valentines for friends. Brystol chose to decorate some giant lollipops we picked up very inexpensively at a local discount store. We used our search engine to find a ready-made sheet of hearts, then printed them on light-colored card stock. She colored the hearts, then attached a little punched circle that read, "I'm a SUCKER for you, Valentine."<p>
We easily could have taken things a step further by busting out the stickers and glitter, but since Brystol was content with simplicity, I saw no need to complicate things. My sweet girl was super excited to share these easy-to-make treats with all her "best friends."<p>
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Doing anything with these two little ladies, however, is anything but easy. Double the grabby hands and double the independent attitudes meant we needed something <i>super</i> easy and quick to make. I looked all over <a href="http://pinterest.com/famille_huggins/">Pinterest</a> for ideas I could implement with things I already had on hand, but I couldn't find anything easy enough for our needs. After pulling together some things from around the house, I had an idea that seemed somewhat unique (with "unique" now being defined as "not easily found on Pinterest").<p>
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Piper enjoyed a rousing game of chocolate keep away...<p>
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... while nearly-two-year-old Elleigh was tortured by the fact</br>
that we all kept touching the supplies she suddenly deemed her property.<p>
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As for supplies, we used the same hearts printed on sheets of pink and red cardstock on which we wrote, "All our love, All our kisses... ♥ Elleigh & Piper." I cut them from the sheet leaving a little border around the outline. Instead of hand writing our sentiments, we could have possibly typed them up in Paint or by using a PDF writer. These little hearts would be simple to whip up with a Silhouette, as well (if you know how to use yours -- unlike me).<p>
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We used clear treat bags picked up on clearance, as well as some unopened bags of Christmas kisses -- also picked up on clearance. We sorted out all of the red and a few of the silver Kisses, leaving the green-wrapped Kisses for some St. Patty's Day treats.<p>
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Five Kisses packed in a folded treat bag, then stapled closed with a sweet little heart, and voilà...<p>
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a simple toddler valentine.<p>
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</center>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-82340581312608259722013-02-01T19:29:00.001-06:002013-02-01T22:45:20.449-06:00On Losing Contact and Losing a FriendOn Sunday morning, I got word that my dear, lifelong friend Denise passed away. Denise and I grew up together. She and her family moved in across the street from us when she was three and I was four years old. We spent years playing baby dolls and dress up. We dug in my sandbox or played on her swingset. We whispered a million secrets to one another during a thousand sleepovers. We even pierced our fingers and swapped our blood so we could be "real sisters."<p>
Denise was a part of every one of my major life events. She was in my life when my parents divorced. She was around for every move, every school transfer, every life struggle and celebration. We've been side-by-side through movies, plays, and concerts. We vacationed together both as children and adults. She saw me through schools and international adventures. She knew about every boyfriend -- every happiness, every heartbreak -- and over Braum's biscuits and gravy, she convinced me to have a wedding instead of eloping when "the one" finally came along.<p>
Denise was my most constant companion through 15 weeks of pregnancy bedrest when I was expecting Gracie, my first biological child. She supplied me in banana splits and painted the toenails I could no longer reach. Then, she stood at my delivery room bedside and coached me as well as James. Since our move to Texas eight years ago, she and I have traveled back-and-forth to stay with one another, and we've had loads of phone time. Denise was the single person in my life to share Christ with me, and though I vehemently disagreed with her religion at the time, it was her love and constant grace in the midst of my craziness that planted the seeds for my eventual salvation.<p>
About four years ago, Denise had gastric bypass surgery. The doctor in her case did a really awful job, and she began growing sicker and sicker with no hope for reversal. Her husband (who had also had the surgery) had similar complications, and he had to leave his job to go on disability after developing a seizure disorder. Their lives changed drastically, and they lost so much in a very short time. In 2009, their losses led to a kind of despair that caused them to begin drinking heavily (something Denise had never done before), and she no longer wanted the same kind of contact with me. I don't know if it was depression or shame, but regardless of whatever drove her desire for isolation, the fact that I was homeschooling two children and had a newborn made it easy to honor her request for space.<p>
<i>I always thought we'd have time to catch up...</i><p>
In 2010, because of her altered absorption, the drinking led to Denise developing a severe case of cirrhosis of the liver. I didn't know about it until her sister emailed me to tell me that Denise was on hospice and not expected to live long. Evidently, she'd gotten sober and had been on a transplant list for a few months, but when she relapsed, she was removed from the list and put back on hospice. In 2011, she was moved between family members across different states, and her moves coupled with the fact that we added two more infants to our family while I became the primary caretaker of my cancer-ridden, terminally-ill mother led to a total loss of contact. I kept thinking of reaching out, but I didn't. I made excuses, but the reality is I was afraid to face both her addiction and her mortality (along with dealing with everything else on my plate), so I made the choice not to press forward. Because of my selfishness and fear, I missed out on a sweet window of opportunity as I now know the whole time I was here in Texas making excuses, she was with her husband and daughter in Oklahoma, sober and in decent health. She relapsed in September 2012 and declined rapidly, dying January 26th, 2013.<p>
The emotions I have about her death are complicated. I've loved Denise my whole life long, but when she needed me the most, I wasn't there. I know she asked for the space, but I should have pushed through. The eventual absolute loss of contact was totally my fault, and I'll forever regret it. I rarely look back on my life and want a do-over, but this is one of those circumstances where I would do things in a totally different way if I had the chance. Logistically, I'm not sure how much more I could have offered during that bone-crushing, exhausting time of my life, but I just let space and time overwhelm me, and I couldn't be more sorry about that decision.<p>
<i>Oh, to have been a better friend when it mattered most...</i><p>
At this point, I feel convicted to never again completely neglect those I deeply love, no matter my own circumstances. Life is never too difficult for a short phone call or a card in the mail. Additionally, I feel the need to keep my circumstances in check and to continually cling to the cross of Christ so that I too do not slip away into a despair that leads to physical death. It astonishes me that the consumption of alcohol is ultimately what consumed the friend I could never convince to drink, and if a shockingly-altered lifestyle could take her down, it could take anyone down. Moreover, I feel a commitment to the eight-year-old daughter she left behind. I believe it's largely my continued responsibility to keep Denise's memory alive in that little heart. I feel that, at the very least, I owe it to Denise to be as crazy an "auntie" to that little one as I was a crazy friend to her mother. Most importantly, I feel it's my responsibility to have the relationship with her that makes Christ accessible and approachable, because without her mother, I'm not sure anyone else would have done that for me. <center>
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With Denise on my 7th Birthday (July 1983)<p>
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Roller Skating with Denise (September 1988)<p>
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Getting Gussied Up (Summer 1990)<p>
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Underwater with Denise (Summer 1991)<p>
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Camping and Swimming at Blue Hole (Summer 1991)<p>
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At the Amusement Park with Denise and her sister, Gloria (Summer 1991)<p>
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At Denise's 14th Birthday Party (March 1992)<p>
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Best Buddies (February 1992)<p>
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Masks with the Ladies: Teresa, Denise, and Mandi (May 1992)<br>
[This was the summer Denise told me about Jesus in an unrelenting way...]<p>
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Celebrating Christmas with Denise, Gloria, and Matt (December 1993)<br>
[My first Christmas as a Christ-follower]<p>
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Concert-going with Denise (November 1994)<br><p>
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My Bridal Shower, Denise at my side (July 2000)<p>
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Denise holding Gracie right after delivery (May 2002)<p>
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Denise holding the long-awaited baby Brystol (August 2009)<p>
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Denise's Memorial Service (January 2013)<p>
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Denise's Memorial Service (January 2013)<p>
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Denise's daughter with all her "Aunties" (January 2013)<br>
Denise's friend Robin, me, and Denise's sister Gloria <p>
</center>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-87685504127046838772013-01-27T09:00:00.000-06:002013-02-03T21:24:44.367-06:00Overnight in AustinOn Saturday, our family attended the quarterly "waiting family" support group weekend at our adoption agency. We've been active with our agency, waiting to adopt again, since the summertime. We were matched with a birthmom in December, but before we could take custody of the baby, she was pressured by her family to relinquish to a distant cousin. CPS got involved as our agency was pushed away, and ultimately, that little girl wasn't meant to be ours. Our social worker felt awful about the failed match, but we know God has a greater plan and we had peace. The social worker joked that maybe this loss meant there was a little boy in our future, but we'll see. We'd be blessed by a new little family member, regardless of gender. In the meantime, we wait -- and attend support group meetings.<p>
Because we had to make an out-of-town trip for the meeting, we opted to make the whole weekend one of getaways. James took the day off work on Friday, and he and Bub spent the day in Houston at a <a href="http://www.tristarproductions.com/schedule.html">baseball card convention</a>. They added a few cards to their collections before enjoying a night in a hotel room, then we all drove in from different directions to attend the meeting.<p>
After support group, James took Bub and the two littlest ladies home while Gracie, Brystol, and I drove to Austin. Because we were coming in in the evening, we drove straight to <a href="http://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g30196-d184129-Reviews-South_Congress_Avenue-Austin_Texas.html">South Congress Avenue</a> to browse the cool shops and hit up the food trucks. We dined on <a href="http://austinfoodcarts.com/2011/02/22/coat-and-thai/">Thai food</a>, bought sweets at <a href="http://bigtopcandyshop.tumblr.com/">Big Top Candy Shop</a>, and tried on sunglasses and vintage clothes at a few of the shops. We picked up a couple of new Barbie dolls before heading back to the hotel room <i>(where two happy girls played together for a couple of hours before sleeping)</i>. The next day, we enjoyed the hotel pool and hot tub before hitting up the <a href="http://www.premiumoutlets.com/outlets/outlet.asp?id=73">Round Rock outlet mall</a> on the way home. It's always so special to have some alone time with one or two kiddos. We all enjoy the individual attention and time to reconnect.<p>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-32388592572857079872012-11-05T15:28:00.001-06:002012-12-02T19:38:23.711-06:00L'esprit de CorpsMy mom passed away fourteen very long, incredibly fast weeks ago. She died very early in the morning on Tuesday, July 31, 2012, to be exact. Ultimately, it was the metastasis into her spinal fluid -- <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10395835">Leptomeningeal Carcinomatosis</a> -- that did her in. She made the decision one Tuesday to have me <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2012/07/progression.html">call in a hospice agency</a> to help care for her, and by the following Tuesday, she was gone. In the middle of a milky midnight, she parted with her mortal body and made her way Heavenward. What a brave soul.<p>
I saw a friend a few weeks back, one I see primarily at baby showers and birthday parties, and she asked me if I was grieving well. "I don't know, I guess so," I said. In many ways, I think I might still be in shock, even these fourteen weeks later. I'm still waiting on Mom to call me, to ask about the mundane details of my day, to tell me about TV shows and catch me up on the latest gossip, to pick at me, to argue with me. Something. <i>Anything.</i> Being in full control of my faculties, I know the call isn't coming.<p>
<center><i>I just long for it.</i></center><p>
She is especially absent here at the onset of the holiday season -- the savory, sweet days of autumn; the wonderful, wonder-filled days of joy and celebration -- they're different without her. Left behind is a tangible and painful void. No one bothered to inquire about kid Halloween costumes. Thanksgiving traditions for my children will be the ones James and I create on our own or with my in-laws. No longer will there be anyone needing a lecture about the possibility of being <i>too</i> generous at Christmas -- the lecture that Mom's heard and allowed to go in one ear and out the other for as long as I've had children.<p>
Mom was missing from our recent Colorado vacation. After having traveled with us a number of times, it was odd to not even have to take her into consideration. It was also difficult to return to a location where I'd been with her just two years earlier. She was so healthy and ornery on that trip -- we had no idea that cancer was on the radar. We certainly had no idea she'd be dead a mere twenty-eight months later. I imagined all the ways we might have altered things had we known. It was bittersweet to build beautiful, new memories with my family while balancing the what-ifs of a while ago.<p>
We weren't perfect, Mom and I, but despite the strain our individual brokenness often put on our relationship, we were always ultimately there for one another. I miss my champion, and I miss championing for her. I just pray that the days and the ways in which I served her were as much of a blessing to her as they were to me. Above all, I hope I served her in a way that pleases the Lord.<p>
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<i>"Honor widows who are truly widows.<br>
But if a widow has children or grandchildren,<br>
let them first learn to show godliness to their own household<br>
and to make some return to their parents,<br>
for this is pleasing in the sight of God.</i><br>
I Timothy 5:3-4<p>
<i>"Honor your father and your mother,<br>
that your days may be long in the land<br>
that the Lord your God is giving you."</i><br>
Exodus 20:12<p></center>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-42633998292563862842012-07-25T09:17:00.000-05:002012-07-30T14:56:45.242-05:00Brystol is Three!!Our sweet Brystol turned three-years-old on Monday. It was a bittersweet day for me because my mom's health and strength had declined to the point that I had to cancel her playgroup party to take my Mom to see her specialty neurologist in Houston. Our friends were understanding, of course, but all day long I struggled with hard feelings -- happy to be available for and present with my mom, but sad that we'd gotten to that point so quickly and sad to miss my baby's big day.<P>
Fortunately, we were able to make it back to the Metroplex in time to blow out some birthday candles <i>(even if they were on a storebought cake)</i> and to open a few gifts. The best thing about having a big family -- instant birthday party! Brystol had fun, but she did notice when we tucked her in for bedtime that her playgroup friends never came by. We'll reschedule that celebration for a less hectic time.<p>
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Cake and Presents<p>
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Instant Birthday Party<p>
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Special Time with Nanny</center>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-73711876339686734952012-07-24T23:21:00.000-05:002012-07-25T01:45:25.176-05:00ProgressionMom's health has continued to decline. Every day for the last two weeks, her symptoms have continued to progress dramatically from day-to-day. She is hardly able to walk anymore, and when she does, it takes every ounce of focus and strength. She's lost sensation in her abdomen and no longer has the ability to sense when she needs to use the toilet. Her ability to speak is diminished -- her speech is garbled and the volume of her voice is very low. We contacted her neurologist (a specialist in <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001729/">Lambert-Eaton myasthenic syndrome</a>, the neurological comorbidity she struggles with) who increased the clinical trial drug she's taking to the maximum dose, but the increase in medication was no help at all.<p>
She wondered if she'd had a stroke, and after a fall on Friday morning, she spent the weekend in the hospital. The MRI and a couple of other tests came back indicating no significant changes, so it was believed that her symptoms were related to the LEMS rapidly progressing. Though still in a very weak state, she was medically stable, so I checked her out of the hospital on Sunday and we high-tailed it to Houston for a Monday morning appointment with the specialized neurologist.<p>
The doctor examined Mom thoroughly. She verified Mom has declined considerably, and she said there was a remote chance we were experiencing could be attributed to an extremely rapid progression of Lambert-Eaton. However, she strongly believes that this progression is a metastasis of the cancer to Mom's spinal fluid, a disease called <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10395835">Leptomeningeal Carcinomatosis</a>. The associated symptoms and the speed of progression are strong <i>(nearly textbook)</i> indicators. The neurologist requested the oncologist do a lumbar puncture to verify the diagnosis, but today he refused because the test is painful, risky, and unreliable, and even with an official diagnosis, there are no treatment options available to her. There are no other available treatments for LEMS (besides the clinical trial drug she's taking -- <a href="http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT00704925">3,4 DAP</a>), and in her declined and fragile medical state, there are no additional treatments available for the Oat Cell Carcinoma. The time has come to hire a hospice care agency, which I will do tomorrow.<p>
Prayer is our most immediate need. This is an intensely difficult time for Mom and for us. She's been feeling a bit isolated since leaving her roommate and moving far from her friends and coworkers. Helping her through that sense of loss is a priority, especially now. We need loads of all manners of grace and strength right now. We're swiftly being swept away towards the dark night of the soul.<p>
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<i>"Be strong and courageous.
Do not fear or be in dread...
for it is the Lord your God who goes with you.
He will not leave you or forsake you.
It is the Lord who goes before you.
He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you.
Do not fear or be dismayed."</i>
-- Deuteronomy 31:6,8 ESV<p>
<i>"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give to you.
Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."</i>
--John 14:27 ESV<p>
<i>"So we do not lose heart.
Though our outer self is wasting away,
our inner self is being renewed day by day.
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us
an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,
as we look not to the things that are seen
but to the things that are unseen.
For the things that are seen are transient,
but the things that are unseen are eternal."</i>
-- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ESV<p></center>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-91669811790894288852012-07-18T23:48:00.000-05:002012-07-19T15:41:49.707-05:00ChangesMy mom moved in with us a little under a month ago. She drove herself here, she walked in on her own, and she's been rapidly declining since. We've been aware of a steady decline, but we thought she was just really tired. She went out of town the weekend before she moved in. When she returned to the Metroplex, she expended all of her energy packing and preparing to move. Then she moved, and while she didn't personally do any lifting, she'd reached the point physically that doing too much of <i>anything</i> was taxing. Even though she was directing her moving helpers, doing that all day long was exhausting for her. Then, instead of spending the rest of her weekend hours resting, she did some unpacking. The following Monday, she had chemotherapy -- <i>additionally exhausting</i> -- then spent all of the next week working with her house helper to get the rest of the boxes emptied.<p>When all was said and done, she was absolutely worn out, and we thought that fatigue explained the changes we were seeing in her. We don't go out and do too much these days anyway, but in an effort to help her recover, we made it a point to stay close to home, but even with rest, she's continued to decline. Two weekends ago, we were able to leave her here at the house for a couple of hours while James and I took the kids to do some grocery shopping, and she was ornery enough to argue with me about something silly. By this past weekend, she'd reached a shocking level of immobility and couldn't be left alone at the house at all, the volume of her voice has decreased dramatically, and her speech is so unclear that it sounds like she's chewing on a bag of marbles. Yesterday morning, she could drink from a straw. This morning, she couldn't. By today, Wednesday, she can hardly be left to walk from room to room without a strong adult physically assisting her, keeping her and her walker from taking a spill. Even with constant companionship, she's fallen so hard and fast so many times today <i>(and over the last few days)</i>, if she doesn't break something soon, I'll be shocked.<p>We knew that she would change here. We all knew she would die here, she would go through the process of dying here. It's not a surprise that she's changing, but it is a surprise just how quickly things are moving, especially since the scan she had a month ago seemed so good. She's so very different this month than she was when we went to <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2012/04/easter-at-disneyworld.html">Disneyworld in April</a>. She's in such bad shape, there's no way we could take that trip now. The rapid pace of things make things so, so difficult. All the changes we've seen in this short amount of time is honestly stunning.<p>It's hard to be one of the "<a href="http://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2006/09/art1full.pdf">sandwich generation</a>," simultaneously caring for both parent and child. Today, I had to make calls about homeschool co-op and home health care. I spoke to both an orthodontist nurse and an oncology nurse. I had to assist both my toddler and my mother in the restroom. I gathered my mother up off the ground after a fall just as I gathered up my little ones. It's difficult personally to both observe and adjust to the changes in Mom. It's challenging to walk my children through the changes, explaining to them what's going on with Nanny's health when I don't even understand. It's heartbreaking to sit with my still young mother and hold her hand as I explain to her that there is likely little that can be done now, this is probably the way things are going to be from here on, and that there's a very good chance we'll have to hire that hospice care agency pretty soon. It's hard to do it all alone.<p>Today, as I spent yet another hour talking to the insurance company about medical equipment, Mom made her way into the restroom without calling for me to help keep her upright. <i>(She's fiercely hanging on to her independence, even if it means she's putting herself in danger.)</i> I'd just been debating needs vs. coverage with the insurance liaison, explaining the physical changes observed in this short time, and defending a new request for hospital tables and portable ramps. I explained to the liason that she's falling now with some degree of regularity, several times a day now, and right in the middle of our conversation, we both heard a loud crash. Mom's leg muscles failed, and she fell so hard and fast, she destroyed the metal toilet paper holder before crashing to the hard tile floor and becoming trapped between the wall and the toilet. I tossed the phone to the side, lifted her out of her prison, and helped her finish her business before getting her safely back to her bed. It's difficult to watch her decline, to watch her struggle, to watch her hurt herself. In her heart, she's so strong and brave, but I know she's heartbroken having to rely so heavily on me. There's a certain sad look in her eyes every time I pick her up off the ground. And she apologizes so frequently, no matter how many times I tell her it is my honor and joy to serve her in this way.<p>By the time I got back to the liaison, I was in tears from the whole experience. When I picked the phone up again, she asked me, "Who helps you? Do you have family helping you?" Nope, no I don't. My mom's friend Cheryl is our biggest support, but other than that, it's really just us. All of our relatives live elsewhere, and they all have their own lives to live. It's cool, though. There's no obligation to show up here and to help out. Even if they were interested in helping, a few of my family members would come with so much of their own personal drama that it's a relief to me that they're far away. I'll lift Mom off the ground all by myself a hundred times a day just to avoid dealing with that brand of nonsense. I think what troubles me the most is that it seems so many of her friends <i>(coworkers, church pals, CR sponsees, etc.)</i> and relatives -- people she's always considered herself close to, people she's sacrificed for -- are so consumed with their lives that they don't even attempt to bother with brief visit or a short phone call. They're all just gone, not willing to deal with her dying, and that's what bothers me the most. It's that sort of thoughtless, careless, selfish behavior that I find myself having to check <i>my</i> heart about. Every part of this experience is work, and as in most hard situations, most of the works seems to be internal.<p>Though her isolation is frustrating, it's not entirely unexpected. I read <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Death-Dying-Scribner-Classics/dp/0684842238/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342717140&sr=1-1&keywords=on+death+and+dying">On Death and Dying</a> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Leaning-into-Sharp-Points-Caregivers/dp/1608680673/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1342717099&sr=8-1&keywords=leaning+into+sharp+points">Leaning Into Sharp Points</a> before she moved in with us, and both authors prepare caregivers for this kind of isolation. The surprise again is just that it happened so fast. Writer <a href="http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/doco-maker-confronts-mortality-20110119-19w5a.html#ixzz211TYT8iu">Paul Kalina</a> quoting hospice documentary filmmaker <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1805307/">Jen Peedom</a> writes, "'By and large, Western culture doesn't have processes for dealing with death... There's a funeral and then... after a month, friends expect you to get on with it and then avoid you [if you don't]. I think that we are afraid of death; it makes us feel uncomfortable and confronted and we're not given the support and structure.'" It would just be nice if there were more opportunities for respite and support. It would be even nicer if she didn't have cancer and we didn't have to deal with this at all. Alas, she does, and this is now our combined journey.<p>I'm taking comfort in God's word, knowing our family has taken on His charge to care for my Mom as her time on this Earth comes to a close. As we continue walking in obedience, I know He will continue to provide us with all we need whether it be supernatural strength, abundant grace, or durable medical equipment. Above all, may we honor Him as we continue to show mercy to one another here.<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGM8M0FE3_1ioj2zVmveuIH4EWJdycESzqRhLOxUz0nygBToUE6eSKrhA90EuhELJfzQwtOKYMZNFF-HeAt4w8vCQSzulLacaGllcPsQ7nYNjLpnEt6vY1PR3cpk2LI6WsudK6X4sDZgU/s1600/9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGM8M0FE3_1ioj2zVmveuIH4EWJdycESzqRhLOxUz0nygBToUE6eSKrhA90EuhELJfzQwtOKYMZNFF-HeAt4w8vCQSzulLacaGllcPsQ7nYNjLpnEt6vY1PR3cpk2LI6WsudK6X4sDZgU/s320/9.jpg" /></a></div><p><i>"And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, 'Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?' [Jesus] said to him, 'What is written in the Law? How do you read it?' And he answered, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.' And he said to him, 'You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.' But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, 'And who is my neighbor?' Jesus replied, 'A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?' He said, 'The one who showed him mercy.' And Jesus said to him, 'You go, and do likewise.'"</i> -- <b>Parable of the Good Samaritan, Luke 10:25-37 ESV</b><p><strike><strike></strike></strike><p><p><i>"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, 'You sit here in a good place,' while you say to the poor man, 'You stand over there,' or, 'Sit down at my feet,' have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? But you have dishonored the poor man. Are not the rich the ones who oppress you, and the ones who drag you into court? Are they not the ones who blaspheme the honorable name by which you were called? If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing well. But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it."</i> -- <b>James 1:27, 2:1-10</b><p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-85267209203941223832012-07-15T09:17:00.000-05:002013-02-11T15:27:28.741-06:00Event Cancelled -- More on the Bible Bee<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Things have not improved for us with regards to the Bible Bee study. Lessons still take a lifetime, which the kids are now growing frustrated with, and I'm still no better at teaching them memory tricks. They've gotten a few of the scriptures down, but are having a hard time with others. I've added some silly moves <i>(like they do with the songs at church)</i>, and while the kids think it's hilarious to watch me make a fool of myself for their benefit, it seems like it's only good for a laugh and little more. I was hopeful we'd be able to attend the local event to connect with other parents doing this summer study. I really needed some tips and advice, and the kids needed to see they're not the only ones <i>(I hope!)</i> whose Mom has no idea what she's doing. We were also looking forward to a little fun after all this work.<p>
Unfortunately, the local event was cancelled at the last minute and tentatively rescheduled for the day that we're supposed to have a dress rehearsal <i>(something else I'm confused about and needed direction on)</i>. At this point, I feel lost and beyond frustrated. My plan now is to put on the brakes. I should stress that the materials are fantastic and the kids are learning loads, they're just a bit intense <i>(for us)</i> for a quick summer study. We'll continue with our Sword Study, but we're going to devote only a couple of days a week to it instead of the whole week, and we'll get back to our regular method of study using the Bible Bee material as our foundation until we get through the book. In fact, I think this would be a great option for people who needed a good Bible curriculum to follow, even if they weren't interested in the actual Bible Bee. As for us, there's no way that we'll be ready for any kind of competition anytime soon, but that's okay. We've gained a great deal from the program, so I already feel like we're winners.Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-39688552523583954602012-07-11T17:27:00.000-05:002012-07-18T18:24:38.849-05:00Little People for the Little Ladies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Playing with Little People is a favorite pastime for all the little ladies. We didn't have Little People when our big kids were small, but I snagged a set at a garage sale when I was pregnant with Brystol. Since adding two more children, I've added probably three more complete sets <i>(more garage sale finds)</i> and a few spare pieces and accessories. I modified our old TV cabinet, adding shelves for Little People houses, accessories, and storage bins. Every time it's opened, the ladies come running <i>(or crawling)</i> over to play. All three of them snag their favorite figures and play with <i>(or fight over)</i> them for a good long while.Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-38429157455003831012012-07-08T08:53:00.000-05:002013-02-11T15:27:28.734-06:00Struggling to Study -- A Bible Bee UpdateSo, we've progressed with our Bible Bee Study. I don't know if we were just gung-ho to begin with, or if the lessons were easier, but the further along we've gotten, the more challenging things have become. Even if I'm standing over the kids, we can no longer make the "twenty minutes a day." I'm confident the change has not been in us -- at least not in anything we've changed or the way we're approaching the study. I think it's just a deep, progressive study that requires much more discipline than we realized (or wanted, at least during the summer). It also doesn't seem to allow any wiggle room for the things kids to in the summer, like go to camp or on vacation. We still haven't caught up from their recent week away!<p>
The kids are troopers, not complainers, and so while the lessons are taking two or three times as long (even before drilling the memory verse cards), they're still enjoying it for the most part. Gracie says the lessons are long and there's a lot of writing to do, but they're still fun. I'm having less fun, though. I'm so busy helping -- and encouraging -- them do their work, then James and I spend time in the evening drilling stacks of memory verses. To me, this level of work is way more than I wanted for a summertime program. Maybe that seems awful to say about the study of God's word, but we generally approach studying the Bible in a bit of a different way.<p>
We typically read aloud or do individual reading for personal study, but we go deeper by doing a bit of expository study, breaking God's word apart by understanding how it defines and describes itself. We don't struggle with reading God's word, or even understanding it. Where I struggle personally is teaching the kids <i>how</i> to hide the Word in their heart, or teaching memory tricks. I was hopeful this program would help me do that for them, but I don't think it's helped really. I think the program has just further exposed my teaching shortcomings, and has added pressure where we didn't want any. I haven't passed these frustrations along to the kids, though. We're still working with them, but we all feel grossly unprepared for a competition of any sort, and we don't know what to do to change or improve. I'm hopeful we can find some help at the upcoming local event, either from the event host or from other parents.<p>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTdXxMmwP3gcmd_FSZqucYyd6jsrb3Uc01BytPjvItRbCsdsR5pnlnHck82y-yyfV0M7NlallWTvsNXE8x-_Uyyu1b_WaT1pG9d9bdjXZpfhD1OCiq2dfJnz00MpcPlcVXGxim_l7Ck6A/s1600/067.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="214" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTdXxMmwP3gcmd_FSZqucYyd6jsrb3Uc01BytPjvItRbCsdsR5pnlnHck82y-yyfV0M7NlallWTvsNXE8x-_Uyyu1b_WaT1pG9d9bdjXZpfhD1OCiq2dfJnz00MpcPlcVXGxim_l7Ck6A/s320/067.JPG" /></a></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-19081500451524510342012-07-04T10:26:00.000-05:002012-07-18T17:20:37.090-05:00Happy Independence Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhATqOWImpCPw5r-Uyg43NfzIPcfArOyO01RP_n0X3Nl8g_5Ek5wfGtYd_CxAJIuX4_N6CRSfc2t30Sl5eJIueSZPmD3dXF4yTZ33lb6nIB-YhBSEFimsQZbX4YXXs3CBktFpqVUB4zYBw/s1600/2012-07-091.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="225" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhATqOWImpCPw5r-Uyg43NfzIPcfArOyO01RP_n0X3Nl8g_5Ek5wfGtYd_CxAJIuX4_N6CRSfc2t30Sl5eJIueSZPmD3dXF4yTZ33lb6nIB-YhBSEFimsQZbX4YXXs3CBktFpqVUB4zYBw/s400/2012-07-091.jpg" /></a></div><p>
We celebrated our Fourth on the third. The little ladies are scared of big noises, and my mom is growing increasingly weaker, so I wasn't planning to go anywhere. However, James got off work early and graciously offered to stay home so I could take the big kids out to watch fireworks. "You need a night out," he said. <i>Sweet man. </i>While Daddy endured a Yo Gabba Gabba marathon, the big kids and I went to a nearby town for dinner and dessert, then caught up with friends to watch the fireworks show.Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-46503077942482159642012-06-23T10:59:00.000-05:002012-07-18T17:23:58.287-05:00Moving Day for Mom<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiTYIxGZv9AifAOnquiRSwnalgMfog28KHpBdhLAPetr4NARLMEBE5rc5AdFN6SJDFG4vxjx8QwZ01j7bEpMjqm7kK8rEoSbd8bUEY70VxN0tMfHJaRzRuORpCjfWF11bHGn7DHLy7R60/s1600/moving-day1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="226" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiTYIxGZv9AifAOnquiRSwnalgMfog28KHpBdhLAPetr4NARLMEBE5rc5AdFN6SJDFG4vxjx8QwZ01j7bEpMjqm7kK8rEoSbd8bUEY70VxN0tMfHJaRzRuORpCjfWF11bHGn7DHLy7R60/s320/moving-day1.jpg" /></a></div><p>
The master houses a hospital bed, and our game room holds a king. We have a full storage unit and an empty garage. Trucks have been loaded and are presently en route. Mom is moving in with us today.Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-28990642804159122012-06-19T10:05:00.000-05:002012-07-18T17:20:37.093-05:00Playgroup Summer Fun<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ8W9O5NTswuw85pjRM-eBdbTIWGshoqgmocRXc2SAMQS7GwuGFCnH5fIqymUdQC___XATbbAmYhBvODdMnnBpivm9buPCEvgjlxfm9UaWsQPDxYvOjRetrxo1ZG2meyUzYFWYk49WTdI/s1600/2012-07-09.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="225" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ8W9O5NTswuw85pjRM-eBdbTIWGshoqgmocRXc2SAMQS7GwuGFCnH5fIqymUdQC___XATbbAmYhBvODdMnnBpivm9buPCEvgjlxfm9UaWsQPDxYvOjRetrxo1ZG2meyUzYFWYk49WTdI/s400/2012-07-09.jpg" /></a></div><p>
The big kids are away at summer camp, so the little girls and I met playgroup friends at a nearby fountain for some wet summer fun. We arrived early and had the whole place to ourselves.Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-61959452588959920972012-06-18T11:19:00.006-05:002013-02-11T15:34:42.688-06:00Beginning Our Bible Bee Study<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmJZs7f-p6_7MvZuvz0jiZeaoZmIkkMr8kudJdG2SvZBBbGNtGj6hpMyfXkNsNN2KLpTR9wZSL4UEv0QSAq8jviyVr6HnbAMc97F3pp4GDJFQL9qHRMtIKVqFTVrwKkdhxJToOGK95zXE/s1600/1883.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmJZs7f-p6_7MvZuvz0jiZeaoZmIkkMr8kudJdG2SvZBBbGNtGj6hpMyfXkNsNN2KLpTR9wZSL4UEv0QSAq8jviyVr6HnbAMc97F3pp4GDJFQL9qHRMtIKVqFTVrwKkdhxJToOGK95zXE/s320/1883.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5755416469474680914" /></a><br />Our <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2012/05/hello-summer.html">Bible Bee</a> materials arrived recently, and we jumped right in. I was curious to see how the whole "2 cards a week, 20 minutes a day" thing would really work to "equip and encourage a lifestyle of investing in and living out one's relationship with Christ." So far, so good. We're studying II Timothy, a book that's very dear to my heart. We've had our share of suffering over these last few years, so to walk with my children through scriptures urging them not to be ashamed of suffering -- well, that's a joy. Additionally, the book instructs on how to walk through this life as a believer in Christ, it advises on issues of godlessness, it admonishes the verity of the Word, and it urges believers to preach the Word without shame or embarrassment.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUb2QjSETs4-soedOEn5jr7oGRa3GyCMWBdsdGlQq_tBCeNAmWIsIaxzZ-WJl_PEr1bbcz2cpPg38UuRXBOIz4tg87pctcdNb3aHyioy0pCquxvB468kiCwnBdI05kG4x8saEOpogyVIA/s1600/1884.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUb2QjSETs4-soedOEn5jr7oGRa3GyCMWBdsdGlQq_tBCeNAmWIsIaxzZ-WJl_PEr1bbcz2cpPg38UuRXBOIz4tg87pctcdNb3aHyioy0pCquxvB468kiCwnBdI05kG4x8saEOpogyVIA/s320/1884.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5755417683367244530" /></a><br />We received a Primary level Sword Study for Gracie, a Junior level Sword Study for Bub, and two Senior level Sword Study books for James and I to follow along. We also received a parent manual, two Bibles, a rule book, and two packs of scripture cards for the kids to drill and practice. We ordered two music memory CDs in the Bible version we use (ESV), but the style of music is too unusual for any of us to enjoy or use regularly. Each of the Sword Studies, however, are contemporary and full of excellent instruction. They're laid out well with a variety of alternating activities in each lesson. Gracie and Bub are both attracted to the timelines and other helpful activities. I really like the way the books are laid out for them, and I can tell even this early in the game that they'll enjoy them over the long run.<br /><br />My only complaint about the curriculum is this: registration is set up in such a way that prevented us from having the kids work in the same book. The divisions are based on age, not on grade level or ability, and that could prove to be a challenge for some. Though they're 18 months apart in age, Gracie and Bub have been at the same level academically for some time now, and we teach them at the same grade level. It's been a while since we've used entirely separate books to teach them anything, so getting back into that mindset and routine has proved to be a slight challenge for me. There's not a significant amount of <i>teaching</i> in this material per se, but I think it would have been nicer to have been able to override the system to move Gracie up to Bub's level, or to move Bub down to hers if that were necessary. Arranging competitors by grade level (as opposed to age) might be more effective method by which to group children according to their actual abilities. My children will do fine where they're placed, but we're on that age/academic line in our home where the difference between study levels is obvious and bears mentioning (in case some sort of override is needed).<br /><br /><center><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju08akbucMGeplEPRPHKXAtOJlGmhHXn-zN2hh6qTLj3O1hxDLwPTLedxYoBrd-ZYkkqRUXLh9k8HBAu_hMmHj8ay9cScc83WXgsOi9c55PJ0VVcPAEJzpvQxdV6WHEl6ICmXuc-dx8Fs/s1600/1885.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju08akbucMGeplEPRPHKXAtOJlGmhHXn-zN2hh6qTLj3O1hxDLwPTLedxYoBrd-ZYkkqRUXLh9k8HBAu_hMmHj8ay9cScc83WXgsOi9c55PJ0VVcPAEJzpvQxdV6WHEl6ICmXuc-dx8Fs/s320/1885.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5755417673660258514" /></a><br />Kiddos in Cool New Shirts<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUN5qOhkm5v9QygNIXQWlUOdsYuo6djKk5JZUMK-UjWDloHAGtqbNQRzmKE5QT8QQ_Y4-Z-Xlont2tq5ehTwqHjJ6_nVdTOhbzIGkk216J7o3mDlt1I_038x9UwjcT0fH7h_0E60f_6ko/s1600/1886.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUN5qOhkm5v9QygNIXQWlUOdsYuo6djKk5JZUMK-UjWDloHAGtqbNQRzmKE5QT8QQ_Y4-Z-Xlont2tq5ehTwqHjJ6_nVdTOhbzIGkk216J7o3mDlt1I_038x9UwjcT0fH7h_0E60f_6ko/s320/1886.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5755417671701311234" /></a></center>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-87811333612054926722012-06-07T10:02:00.005-05:002012-06-07T11:20:25.057-05:00Come to MeBeing a mother to many little ones is occasionally wearisome. Being the daughter of a dying parent is always heartbreaking. Being sandwiched between the two is unbearable at times. "Come to Me," a song by our worship pastor <a href="http://twitter.com/michaelbleecker">Michael Bleecker</a>, has been a salve to me, like water poured on parched ground.<br /><br /><center><span style="font-style:italic;">"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden,<br />and I will give you rest."</span><br /><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%2011:28&version=ESV">Matthew 11:28</a><br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wD7EW5QWCD0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br />Available on iTunes on June 22.</center>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-18451547716266476832012-06-05T23:41:00.003-05:002013-02-11T15:34:42.679-06:00Accidental Artificial Twinning: Our Experience with Pseudo-Twins<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2nlJPNT_Hbd8VuOQyNQgD_hM3MD5fV-3cyKlGR0YCWYQyEdnkbeRNUXWDXPEqyIKbldjFfxi_SnZKESZpmlhzrfhIIC4eTfwImI3_1Kr3iNp_3fGY3AEk1wofPcbAdXv5nHG9eBf9f68/s1600/pseudo_twins_by_lomise-d4ecatd.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2nlJPNT_Hbd8VuOQyNQgD_hM3MD5fV-3cyKlGR0YCWYQyEdnkbeRNUXWDXPEqyIKbldjFfxi_SnZKESZpmlhzrfhIIC4eTfwImI3_1Kr3iNp_3fGY3AEk1wofPcbAdXv5nHG9eBf9f68/s200/pseudo_twins_by_lomise-d4ecatd.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5750225062229398082" /></a>We recently invited some friends of ours to come share their adoption story at FAM, the Foster/Adoption Ministry James and I lead at our church. <a href="http://itswonderfullycrazy.blogspot.com">Jon and Christi</a> told their story of adopting daughters by way of both a private domestic agency adoption and an adoption through the foster care system. They had a biological son, then a short time later, they decided to adopt one more child. They wanted to adopt a male infant from Ethiopia, but after God did a work on their hearts, they decided to adopt a sibling group of four older children.<br /><br />As they told their story, they shared some of the inhibitions their social worker had before walking them through their international adoption. There was an issue with birth order being disrupted. There were also concerns about "artificial twinning," a term I'd not heard until they spoke of it.<br /><br />"Artificial twinning, false twinning, virtual twinning, and pseudo-twinning are synonymous terms coined to describe... genetically unrelated children born very close in age (less than eight months apart) to different birthparents being raised as siblings by the same social/legal parent(s)" [<a href="http://www.perspectivespress.com/notwinning.html">Perspectives Press</a>]. Alternately defined, artificial twinning is "an expression used to describe unrelated children in a family whose birthdates are less than nine months apart. These can be a combination of biological and adopted siblings, adopted only, step or foster siblings" [<a href="http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/artificial-twinning-in-adoptive-foster-and-step-families.html">Adoption.org</a>].<br /><br /><center><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiMxOit85W6IjqGhz05WHJZpt8WOC6rVRHe3X5m89n0U3RWmOSCp-c1-wdYs_6mXwM9Q-WLh1rOXU1VSXkk3faqvh6xWjwDJ6ksEjgNNMUKCU6NjGqVZJlWgYO9tEA3TZ7oDljNyoAWsk/s1600/photo+%25284%2529.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiMxOit85W6IjqGhz05WHJZpt8WOC6rVRHe3X5m89n0U3RWmOSCp-c1-wdYs_6mXwM9Q-WLh1rOXU1VSXkk3faqvh6xWjwDJ6ksEjgNNMUKCU6NjGqVZJlWgYO9tEA3TZ7oDljNyoAWsk/s320/photo+%25284%2529.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5750279302398522290" /></a>Accidental Artificial Twins</center><br /><a href="http://www.adoptionassociates.net/downloads/agency/newsletters/04_SP.pdf">Richard Van Deelen</a>, Executive Director of Adoption Associates, Inc., addresses "the problem" of pseudo-twinning. "First, the adjustment demands of both children happening simultaneously may overwhelm the capacities of the parents to cope and adjust themselves. Even in normal twin birth situations, the demands of providing for both babies can be exhausting and may require the help of friends and family." He contends that in an effort "to do the best planning possible for children" and "[to protect] children by facilitating healthy placements," artificial twinning should be avoided.<br /><br />Artificial twinning seems to be more common in international arrangements, in older child adoptions, and in the placement of sibling groups, but it's a phenomenon that's typically frowned upon by "responsible" adoption professionals, particularly those dealing with domestic infant adoption situations. Adoptive parents who end up with like-twins are often deemed irresponsible and selfish. Adoption professional <a href="http://www.perspectivespress.com/notwinning.html">Patricia Irwin Johnston</a> puts it this way, "pseudo-twinning is usually not a carefully thought through goal and it comes from self-centered thinking rather than baby-centered thinking. Most of the time it reflects parents’ nearly desperate need to regain control over their family planning and to 'get' a child. Would-be parents who have 'failed' in so many ways during [infertility] treatment are often unable to believe in their potential for success in becoming parents to an extent that allows them to think in the baby-centered way that is the heart of effective parenting. They simply don’t know about or understand the need for emotional and practical preparation through a psychological pregnancy unless adoption professionals take extra, careful time to explain the concept and its benefits to them." She continues, "parents of exceptionally close-in-age babies who protest that they didn’t do this on purpose (and many take this position) are kidding themselves. Adoption doesn’t happen accidentally in the way that birth control fails."<br /><br /><CENTER><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQq3P6M-45frQfFKLqw_a3VnFvdVB3Pf83u5UbfCwzLQ_ILS3eaMYCNdCcAHKC_V8_weVb9YRBMJHWMgv4kLAy0aGl14zPYIG9P-Lbo-ITVzWe5Sf0dm8tZHoNO4mrJeZQurURkdp-UQc/s1600/photo+%25285%2529.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQq3P6M-45frQfFKLqw_a3VnFvdVB3Pf83u5UbfCwzLQ_ILS3eaMYCNdCcAHKC_V8_weVb9YRBMJHWMgv4kLAy0aGl14zPYIG9P-Lbo-ITVzWe5Sf0dm8tZHoNO4mrJeZQurURkdp-UQc/s320/photo+%25285%2529.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5750279289187054946" /></a>My Little Elleigh-Bean</center><br />We have a set of pseudo-twins in Elleigh and Piper, and while we didn't purposefully seek to establish a set of artificial twins, I suppose some would say it didn't happen by accident. We felt pressed by the Lord to <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2011/03/that-was-my-monday-how-was-yours.html">adopt another child</a>, and nearly as soon as we submitted to that idea and <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2011/01/agency-decision-and-application.html">submitted our application</a>, we miraculously <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2012/01/because-you-cant-backdate-baby-wrap-up.html">conceived another</a>.<br /><br /><center><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggI7MIfZN7sIDlceznJ83zCx2zDiqDWelBmEgWU22ieB15GMraGu7xkkvMIsLRqtVHPJCeGwX8VIVnBeyufCWzF6yBjZr4E3jWbBlexg2Z7Ffg7_W2ZlJ4UDvlkSSfqsHx3PUP-sBrZh8/s1600/photo+%25286%2529.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggI7MIfZN7sIDlceznJ83zCx2zDiqDWelBmEgWU22ieB15GMraGu7xkkvMIsLRqtVHPJCeGwX8VIVnBeyufCWzF6yBjZr4E3jWbBlexg2Z7Ffg7_W2ZlJ4UDvlkSSfqsHx3PUP-sBrZh8/s320/photo+%25286%2529.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5750279280925900194" /></a>My Chunky Monkey, Piper</center><br />Because we didn't halt our adoption, and because I neither miscarried nor aborted the baby in my womb, we <span style="font-style:italic;">purposefully</span> created the like-twins we're raising. In Jon and Christi's situation, they felt the Lord leading them to intentionally embrace adoptions that would both disrupt birth order and create multiple sets of artificial twins. Before their adoptions, they were well-educated by their social worker about the challenges they might face, but ultimately, they moved forward holding fast to God's peace in their hearts. James and I sincerely weighed out all the scenarios we could imagine, and still, we didn't feel compelled to halt our adoption, despite our blossoming pregnancy. Both of our families sought instruction from God's word which reads, "The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but <span style="font-style:italic;">in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God</span>," and for both of our families, God's promise came to pass: "<span style="font-style:italic;">Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand</span>. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus" (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=philippians%204&version=ESV">Philippians 4:5b-6 ESV</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=philippians%204:7&version=NLT">Philippians 4:7 NLT</a>).<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTshXV-644IxAk1iMzozJownbs16ghwU3bGVWrJegZ1dH9WvpE3pdecJZuqhbVCH4aeh_zbGQM5_JSKtcrCHIjT_O3vm_c-heNqoHKBd7sRlU51z0wlJr3pNc2FvRaUdC1sFDaCahQFwI/s1600/photo+%25283%2529.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTshXV-644IxAk1iMzozJownbs16ghwU3bGVWrJegZ1dH9WvpE3pdecJZuqhbVCH4aeh_zbGQM5_JSKtcrCHIjT_O3vm_c-heNqoHKBd7sRlU51z0wlJr3pNc2FvRaUdC1sFDaCahQFwI/s320/photo+%25283%2529.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5750279278754070402" /></a><br />But what about sensibility? Aren't the experts experts for a reason, what with all their expertise? <span style="font-style:italic;">Sure, they are.</span> Shouldn't we listen to them, then? <span style="font-style:italic;">Sure, we should.</span> It is fair to say that adoption experts and child advocates honestly care for their charges and really want what's best for the children they come in contact with. They have history and experience, they know their stuff. I'm not saying we shouldn't consider what others have to say about our situations, particularly those with some sort of authority on the matter at hand, but I am saying as Christ followers, we are not to base our decisions strictly on human authority or opinion. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEZtUZ8pY_bvojXm3OhL5FG3V3cmW3c50OXfD1009r5a65P1-y189EDUv6mU2c8IWQDmjsRHlZS4PhgwYuLo6A0RCQP8mie4xXZGXPvuOycsFehNkjrfLYIkJ8mA65fLLWnyOe2PhB6jw/s1600/photo+%252812%2529.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEZtUZ8pY_bvojXm3OhL5FG3V3cmW3c50OXfD1009r5a65P1-y189EDUv6mU2c8IWQDmjsRHlZS4PhgwYuLo6A0RCQP8mie4xXZGXPvuOycsFehNkjrfLYIkJ8mA65fLLWnyOe2PhB6jw/s320/photo+%252812%2529.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5750672137824900114" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6:33&version=ESV">Matthew 6:33</a> tells us to seek <span style="font-style:italic;">first</span> God's kingdom, so do that -- <span style="font-weight:bold;">go first to God's Word</span>, ponder His character, think about what would bring glory to His kingdom, consider His heart for children and families. The Bible says, "<span style="font-style:italic;">pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans<span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span> and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you" (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=james%201:27&version=NLT">James 1:27 NLT</a>). In the Psalms, it explains, "Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain... <span style="font-style:italic;">Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward</span>. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate" (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%20127&version=ESV">Psalm 127:1, 3-5 ESV</a>). In these scriptures and throughout the Word, it is clear that God is all for children and families and adoption. God is in the business of building homes and families. Rest in that as you continue seeking His plan for your life specifically.<br /><br />If you're considering an adoption scenario that experts might disagree with, follow the instructions in <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians%204&version=ESV">Philippians</a> and <span style="font-weight:bold;">start praying</span>. Before entirely embracing expertise associated with human experience, pray and still your heart to discern how the Lord would lead you. The central theme to both of our stories is that we knew that God was calling us to move outside of our comfort zones, to pursue situations that defied logic and superseded cultural reasoning. Sure, some aspects of these decisions are complicated. Jon and Christi would tell you that their everyday is not easy, and <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2012/02/hard-on-this-side-of-hard.html">neither is ours</a>, but I swear to you, I would not change one thing. We did what we felt compelled by Christ to do, and even on the days when we feel pulled a thousand directions, we can recall that tranquility and take comfort.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivgjhx9HsVjOWSPN6yMDnetP2o3ySo57ZDKC3dxNr2l-l148lMDw4owUpjouxVP8kV06anGBWkjD2sERDQDAOTYw_xKSlhGd-G_UeBSdB4Mc0zzG1Hxz6bxAD3kckMpAi2EDdwrqQdFcc/s1600/photo+%252811%2529.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivgjhx9HsVjOWSPN6yMDnetP2o3ySo57ZDKC3dxNr2l-l148lMDw4owUpjouxVP8kV06anGBWkjD2sERDQDAOTYw_xKSlhGd-G_UeBSdB4Mc0zzG1Hxz6bxAD3kckMpAi2EDdwrqQdFcc/s320/photo+%252811%2529.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5750672131530970258" /></a><br />If you're considering an adoption scenario that experts might frown upon, <span style="font-weight:bold;">ask others to pray for you</span>, specifically that you might be filled with the knowledge of God's will. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=colossians%201:9-12&version=ESV">Colossians 1:9-12</a> describes believers praying for other believers as it reads, "And so, from the day we heard, <span style="font-style:italic;">we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding</span>, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light." Having a support system of praying believers is a blessing anytime, but it's vital if you're planning to adopt, especially if your adoption might be complicated or non-conventional.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ3UCcQDkevZto_N5oX31aYxzxnyglSOXGtN6up26REz22sidHLwl7JwqU3B1RlnjyawJHhJrM_4CJdCCxMK2lTMcrA_vt33Q5_fbjw5uc4yCList1q67fg74nxZ3hqL6zAWm-ANlCPvc/s1600/photo+%25289%2529.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ3UCcQDkevZto_N5oX31aYxzxnyglSOXGtN6up26REz22sidHLwl7JwqU3B1RlnjyawJHhJrM_4CJdCCxMK2lTMcrA_vt33Q5_fbjw5uc4yCList1q67fg74nxZ3hqL6zAWm-ANlCPvc/s320/photo+%25289%2529.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5750672119502459714" /></a><br />Because of the specific circumstances she was born into, had her birthmother not made an adoption plan, our baby very probably would have ended up in foster care. The whole situation is very complex, though none of us knew the extent of it at the time or relinquishment and placement. Because we were motivated by the peace in our hearts and not circumstances, we knew that this baby was meant for us. We loved her from the moment we laid eyes on her. We wanted to bring her home, to care for her, to protect her. It all felt very baby-centered, not egocentric as some experts might assume. But what if our primary motivation had been all of the extenuating circumstances, or what if the opinions of experts moved us instead of God's Word? Though I was eight weeks pregnant when we got the call for newborn Elleigh, would it have been preferential to ignore the peace in my heart, that supernatural knowing that this was my daughter, and allow her to slip into a state system of care just because she might one day feel the need to compete with a sister mere months younger than her? Or what about Jon and Christi's kids -- is the risk of competition so severe that it's better for them to languish in an Ethiopian orphanage than to live with a family that loves and cares for them? Personally, I don't think so. To me, that doesn't seem sensible.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX-rSTvW-T_7GYiEJg1VYOyz0NYcQscP4hhuiyLyB4pFril8DF4fiShLrgOdhisbMK8FrxEr64Hzi4cpsW6z8p7YUQw5DfOoo-vFRqblcY64F8fH7ep8amOUH5GmCQFSaupMy6eE6Nc5E/s1600/photo+%252810%2529.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX-rSTvW-T_7GYiEJg1VYOyz0NYcQscP4hhuiyLyB4pFril8DF4fiShLrgOdhisbMK8FrxEr64Hzi4cpsW6z8p7YUQw5DfOoo-vFRqblcY64F8fH7ep8amOUH5GmCQFSaupMy6eE6Nc5E/s320/photo+%252810%2529.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5750672124104244066" /></a><br />I acknowledge that as children are going through developmental experiences simultaneously, there could be some issues, and these issues may be harder for some families to manage than others. In our home, diapers blowing out simultaneously is the worst thing that we've experienced thus far. Because we do have staggering nap times, we've adjusted our lifestyle a bit, but adjustments come with every new child whether they're spaced months apart or years apart. I personally think it's better for us that we're doing all the baby things at one time instead of letting one child move entirely away from naps and diapers, only to start completely over again. An even bigger change for our family is the fact that we went from being an average-sized family with one tiny child to a large family with three little ladies at once. It seems like more of the adjustments we're making relate to having five children than to having two so close in age, and our experience is common. Many people who aren't "experts," but who are living similar lives in similar families say the same thing -- artificial twinning isn't a big deal, despite the warnings to the contrary, and children often adjust and thrive, even with a same age sibling.<br /><br />We've been warned it will get worse, that the baby phase is the honeymoon. "Just wait until they all hit puberty/start dating/get married," say the naysayers. We've considered those things, but we're not worried. The Bible says, “Therefore I tell you, <span style="font-style:italic;">do not be anxious about your life</span>, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? <span style="font-style:italic;">And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?</span> And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. <span style="font-style:italic;">Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself</span>. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" (Matthew 6:25-34 ESV).<br /><br />Will our like-twins resent us one day for their close spacing? I don't know. Today and everyday, I plan to point my children to Jesus as I care for and give each of them what I believe they need. Today and everyday, I will be thankful for the blessing they each are to our family as a whole. Today and everyday, I choose not to trouble myself with what may or may not happen tomorrow, resting in the confidence that God is in control both now and then. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghjQsBLxv1tichE3-nmjnDFP6E9djvrLIKLLNrQg8o0ddDrrx9y_uK62O-ND1cILPSjglDs9mvRL4R4MA6P8g9ngfC3zas8nj_cQGgmX38plEgMK4ttF04jRsPfe6YLABGL4sEQZzeWFI/s1600/photo+%25282%2529.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghjQsBLxv1tichE3-nmjnDFP6E9djvrLIKLLNrQg8o0ddDrrx9y_uK62O-ND1cILPSjglDs9mvRL4R4MA6P8g9ngfC3zas8nj_cQGgmX38plEgMK4ttF04jRsPfe6YLABGL4sEQZzeWFI/s320/photo+%25282%2529.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5750279430839616018" /></a> <br />Our like-twins are little babies right now, and though there are days that feel utterly exhausting, I genuinely love the way our story was written. Despite his aversion to like-twins, Van Deelen states, "On the positive side, a wise simultaneous placement will provide sibling companionship. There are also legitimate considerations like cost savings, reduced travel time losses, maximized time off from work for the primary caregiver, etc." There have been many advantages to having similarly-aged little sweethearts in our home, and I would not choose to do any portion of this life differently.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><font size="1">Linking To: <a href="http://www.raisingarrows.net/">Raising Arrows</a>, <a href="http://www.growinghomeblog.com/">Growing Home</a>, <a href="http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/">A Wise Woman Builds Her Home</a>, <a href="http://www.aboverubies.net/">Far Above Rubies</a>, <a href="http://teachingwhatisgood.com/">Teaching What is Good</a>, <a href="http://www.thebettermom.com/">The Better Mom</a>, <a href="http://www.whatjoyismine.com/">Monday Musings</a>, <a href="http://wearethatfamily.com/">Works for Me Wednesday</a>, <a href="http://womenlivingwell.org/">Women Living Well</a>, <a href="http://www.holyspiritledhomeschooling.net/">Big Family Friday</a>, <a href="http://www.oursimplecountrylife.com/">Heart 4 Home</a>, <a href="http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com/">Time Warp Wife</a>, <a href="http://www.deeprootsathome.com/">Encourage One Another</a>, <a href="http://heavenlyhomemakers.com/">Gratituesday</a>, <a href="http://raisinghomemakers.com/">Raising Homemakers</a></font>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-81618274400577794282012-06-01T09:59:00.011-05:002012-07-18T17:22:15.212-05:00On Suffering<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyVOdj3A32KWAjtxoCLmQbuAqC54WhPZX7wjwrf28uVdnNj0L0xEFwU43030JuiI0jU79YGVAFG6C_JsgCllSrwOSD9BCbl8mXHeLmrs9phYkJpk8cBWk_iVEbEf6xnh_fxyc1s4lbOXY/s1600/shepherd-217x300.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 145px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyVOdj3A32KWAjtxoCLmQbuAqC54WhPZX7wjwrf28uVdnNj0L0xEFwU43030JuiI0jU79YGVAFG6C_JsgCllSrwOSD9BCbl8mXHeLmrs9phYkJpk8cBWk_iVEbEf6xnh_fxyc1s4lbOXY/s200/shepherd-217x300.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5749099096428791506" /></a>Today, my friend Amy linked to a <a href="http://jennieallen.com/blog/finding-god-in-the-midst-of-suffering-with-lauren-chandler-if-god-is-real-episode-5/">podcast</a> of our pastor's wife, <a href="http://themchandlers.blogspot.com/">Lauren Chandler</a>, sharing her thoughts on God in the midst of suffering. Our pastor, Matt Chandler, was diagnosed with a brain tumor three years ago, and Lauren relays how prior experiences <span style="font-style:italic;">(miscarriages, in particular)</span> prepared her heart for hardship and helped her personally and intimately know how she could rely on God during the storm.<br /><br />I've often thought the same thing -- how our <a href="http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/search/label/On%20Grief%20and%20Loss">season of deep suffering</a> prepared us for our current struggles. Dealing with terminal illness and being in "the valley of the shadow of death" is difficult still, to be sure, but I'm not afraid because I know -- <span style="font-style:italic;">I really, really know</span> -- that God is with me, comforting me (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2023&version=ESV">Psalm 23</a>). Actively, presently, right here by my side comforting me. How? Through His Word -- particularly His promises, chronicles of His character, stories of other saints that He's carried through dark and difficult times -- through personal prayer and worship, and by the loving actions and prayers of those walking this road with us.<br /><br />The cancer in my mom's body is seemingly unyielding, but in Matt and Lauren's situation, the cancer is gone. Author <a href="http://jennieallen.com/jennie">Jeannie Allen</a> interviewing Lauren asked, "How do you not live in fear [that is will come back]? What does it look like for you to take every thought captive and not go to the worst place?" Lauren replied, "[By] just being grateful for today, being focused on today, and realizing that the Lord has given me grace for today. Not getting ahead of myself, and not getting years down the road or coming up with a Plan B, but just trusting Him for each day because who knows what tomorrow is going to hold for any of us. We make plans like we did before and we just hold them very loosely."<br /><br />Again, I relate to much of this. Though Mom's cancer is still present, though it seems to be moving to the point of chemo-resistance, and though hospice care is on the horizon, I have what I need, the grace I need, to get through right now and all of each day. When my sweet little Gracie collapsed on me recently, crying, asking why our lives couldn't be "normal," this was my response to her. This <span style="font-style:italic;">is</span> our normal, and God is present here, giving us manna for this day and this day alone. When we get to tomorrow or to a month from now or to that dark night of the soul, there He'll be with what we need for that time, too. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifeaknOYyspbwQGrrNsTsG8zWeSMUo9g0R61_0F9knd4_F8C8TUqmko1PopteK9cI8auvIRIs2TIhUN7lyONLuAO7PZ8rrtDCHxNC4pTfdMKZ5xn-zKSCh7BXOQbb8w_XkqE0kb8Ln_4I/s1600/shadrach-meshach-and-abednego077.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 120px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifeaknOYyspbwQGrrNsTsG8zWeSMUo9g0R61_0F9knd4_F8C8TUqmko1PopteK9cI8auvIRIs2TIhUN7lyONLuAO7PZ8rrtDCHxNC4pTfdMKZ5xn-zKSCh7BXOQbb8w_XkqE0kb8Ln_4I/s200/shadrach-meshach-and-abednego077.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5749120075938604354" /></a>I'm not saying that this journey isn't hard because God is with me. I'm sure Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego felt the heat of the flames they were in, though the Lord was present with them (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=daniel%203&version=ESV">Daniel 3</a>). I've felt the pressure of being sandwiched between many children and a dying mother. I've been sad and weary, I've felt frustrated, I've lost my cool, I've shed plenty of tears, and I've applied thirty pounds of chocolate straight to my waistline over these last fifteen months. I'm absolutely, 100% <span style="font-style:italic;">not</span> some kind of spiritual giant who has it all together, but though I'm human and I've faltered and struggled, "I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate [me] from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+8%3A38-39&version=ESV">Romans 8:38-39</a>).<br /><br />Lauren continued by discussing God's sovereignty even in suffering. Though we may not understand why we're suffering, she reiterates the fact that there is such a peace in understanding that God is in control of all things, even the suffering we're experiencing (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Job%201&version=ESV">Job 1</a>). She personally recognizes the limits of her understanding, <span style="font-style:italic;">of all of our understanding</span>, and focuses on the character of God, reiterating that He is good (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%20136&version=ESV">Psalm 136:1</a>) and does what's best.<br /><br />This is where our rest is -- knowing God the Father, <span style="font-style:italic;">really</span> knowing Him. Looking to His word to know who He is and what He's all about rather than relying on what the world would say about Him. Looking to Jesus specifically to know the Father (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john%2010:22-30&version=ESV">John 10:22-30</a>), understanding <span style="font-style:italic;">His</span> character and mannerisms to understand the Father. No matter what we're facing, God is a kind and loving Father, present with us always. No matter what we're facing, "let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God" (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews%2012&version=ESV">Hebrews 12:1b-2</a>).<br /><br /><br /><center><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wZ3KIXadMoY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><a href="http://www.songlyrics.com/hillsong/forever-reign-lyrics/">Forever Reign</a> by Hillsong<br /><br /><a href="http://jennieallen.com/blog/finding-god-in-the-midst-of-suffering-with-lauren-chandler-if-god-is-real-episode-5/"><b>Click Here</a><br />to listen to Lauren's thoughts on suffering.</b><br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/LaurenChandler">Follow Lauren on Twitter</a><br /><br /><font size="1"><a href="http://blog.adw.org/2009/07/insights-from-psalm-23-are-you-smarter-than-a-sheep/">image source<br /><a href="http://www.swordofthespirit.net/bulwark/october2011p7.htm">image source</a></a></font></center>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-39513214122971024732012-05-28T23:22:00.012-05:002012-07-18T17:22:15.206-05:00Maybe One Day, Someday...Things for my mom have grown progressively more difficult. Because of the movement of cancer cells to her brain, her oncologist was ready to end treatments when we saw him a couple of weeks ago. He even submitted us for a hospice referral, and I began interviewing agencies as we waited to see him. During the appointment where he planned to tell Mom that treatment was over, he conceded to another couple of chemo rounds because there was no clear evidence of tumor growth on the scans of her lungs. No shrinkage per se, but no growth. Even with a movement to the brain, he couldn't definitively say if her lung cancer had reached the point of being chemo-resistant, so two more treatments were permitted.<br /><br />Mom immediately began infusion therapy, and while she managed the chemo well, she had the injection to increase her immunity and was nearly immediately bedridden. She couldn't stay awake for more than an hour or two, she couldn't speak intelligibly. She was totally out of commission from Saturday until Tuesday when we did an in-home hospice interview. She improved a bit over the next couple of days, and was able to visit with Bub, Gracie, and my aunt who was in town from Kansas. On Friday, though, she was sick again -- this time with a bug she picked up somewhere -- and was again completely wiped out.<br /><br />By the weekend, she was no longer walking well and she'd grown increasingly more confused, and by Sunday night, her brain was misfiring again as it had done in November when she reacted negatively to brain radiation. We debated another run to the ER, but she was safe in her home and not hallucinating or trying to harm herself, so I opted to wait until morning to call the oncologist directly instead of spending hours and hours doing a history workup with a doctor entirely unfamiliar with her care. The next morning, after some debate with the oncology nurse about what we were experiencing, she was admitted to the hospital for testing and observation. In the end, it was determined that some medications were interacting, causing her blood pressure to drop to 87/59. <br /><br />Tuesday, I was given the rundown of another new medication schedule, and Mom was released to go home. Since, <a href="http://beckyisasurvivor.blogspot.com/">she's been struggling</a> physically, mentally, and emotionally. She's growing weary of all of this. She doesn't want to be sick. She's beginning to feel the weight of knowing she won't escape this, not without a miracle. She's losing her freedom. She feels she's become a burden to everyone.<br /><br />As I think about all she's gone through, all she's going through, all we're all going through, I feel so sad. I personally don't have a problem with death, nor does she, but I would hate to lose my independence along the way. Watching her lose hers a bit at a time -- that's the hardest part to all of this for me.<br /><br />Because of this loss of independence, she'll be moving in with us in a few weeks. The whole idea is very hard for all of us. Mom and I don't typically cohabitate. I moved away from home just after my eighteenth birthday, and other than a brief time James and I rented a room from her just after we married, we've lived apart for all these years. Sharing a home is just not something either of us ever wanted to do. Throughout the course of her illness, we've invited her to move in a number of times, but for all kinds of reasons, she wanted to stay where she was. A change in circumstances, though, forced her to devise a new plan, and after considering all of her options <span style="font-style:italic;">(even a state-run nursing home)</span>, she's coming here. She's worried about being a burden to me, and while she won't be that at all, frankly I am concerned about how it will all work out. I could use a few sun-stopped-in-the-sky Joshua-type miracles to get it all done right now, even before she moves in. Still, I know her coming to live here is God's plan for for our family, and I'm moving forward completely aware that while I have no special skills and am already totally sapped of strength, "when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10). I'm counting on God to provide what we need to get through each day in a way that brings Him glory.<br /><br />Regarding relocation preparation, we spent the weekend taking things from our garage <span style="font-style:italic;">(holiday decorations, clothes the littlest little ladies have yet to grow into, etc.)</span> to a storage unit in order to make room for my mom. Today, I spent a few hours at her house boxing up and moving over some of her belongings. Some of her things will go into the storage unit, some things will come to our house. We have a limited amount of room, but we believe having many of her possessions under our roof will make her feel more settled here -- more like this is her home, too. Not just somewhere she's crashing.<br /><br />But then there's that -- all these unimaginable aspects of her decline, all kinds of situations or possibilities that make this not-so-great experience even worse. This sorting and packing is a pretty awful part of an already challenging losing-freedom-and-independence process. When you've surrounded yourself with the same belongings for years and years, trying to decide what to squeeze into a small space, deciding what's really necessary for everyday living, is strenuous. As we emptied china hutches today, Mom told me she'd already gone through her closet to sort clothes for donation. She got rid of nearly all of her winter clothes because living to see another winter is very improbable. She doesn't need three coats anymore because even though one is dressy and one is causal and one is just cute, she'll probably be too dead to wear them. How is that knowledge not all-consuming?! How can one finite human mind be aware of a ticking clock and not just shut down? I don't know -- it's all just so much to bear.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy0-Nc9fe6gZ1V5chH3RhBdt4P4WkSn4uNjU727ZHJRMdqTeqAKUtKw-ep_ZyqQYmrrBeixrBkgHHpSiPrsB5ALUXt6HTnpWyrXV-4AOVh3U0Xjjco4Q9w-NeNJuwUIwllgmgwnftWso0/s1600/cancer+sucks.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 133px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy0-Nc9fe6gZ1V5chH3RhBdt4P4WkSn4uNjU727ZHJRMdqTeqAKUtKw-ep_ZyqQYmrrBeixrBkgHHpSiPrsB5ALUXt6HTnpWyrXV-4AOVh3U0Xjjco4Q9w-NeNJuwUIwllgmgwnftWso0/s200/cancer+sucks.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5747829306902488802" /></a>I don't have any deep explanation for any of this -- we're simply trying to get by. We're in "survival mode," as they say. We're putting one foot in front of the other, getting from one meal to the next <span style="font-style:italic;">(if I remember to thaw something out, that is)</span>, moving from one appointment to another appointment, one treatment to another treatment, feeling thankful for the moments we have to spend together, even if they are strange and stressful. Maybe one day, someday, this will all make some kind of sense.<br /><br /><br /><center><span style="font-style:italic;">"But he said to me,<br />'My grace is sufficient for you,<br />for my power is made perfect in weakness.'<br />Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,<br />so that Christ’s power may rest on me.<br />That is why, for Christ’s sake,<br />I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships,<br />in persecutions, in difficulties.<br />For when I am weak, then I am strong."</span><br /><br />-- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10</center>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-38355316589639734892012-05-25T15:49:00.006-05:002013-02-11T15:27:28.730-06:00Hello, Summer!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz8SmqcoFmjKq_aXilpW1KJfgQeGqRTehKtKSDuuVD3ysJuviuObW6igzfs3QlccweN12ZOFVFK_cCVcvW4zZliUEYSQr0d0tsERXysxfx-sntfG_Db6bXSL9120F5m4FAsHGUhlMknp8/s1600/images.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 119px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz8SmqcoFmjKq_aXilpW1KJfgQeGqRTehKtKSDuuVD3ysJuviuObW6igzfs3QlccweN12ZOFVFK_cCVcvW4zZliUEYSQr0d0tsERXysxfx-sntfG_Db6bXSL9120F5m4FAsHGUhlMknp8/s200/images.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5746575898017840034" /></a>My sweet big kids have finished their fifth grade year, and both are officially "middle schoolers." I really have no idea where the time has gone. They completed the last of the computer work for their math curriculum this morning bringing the school year to an official close. After finalizing the gradebook, I dished out ice cream sundaes to celebrate. We then had a homeschool awards ceremony where I hummed "Pomp and Circumstance" while the kiddos (still in their pajamas) received homemade certificates decorated with stickers by their toddler sister. It was such good fun, and now our much needed break ensues.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_U1XACwO5kCXf8XNdyRzF1V-4UHR7oFfmZHHgUBiTpB2EDIm9KL5LSsM7ftkyT17HWuTSVlj5e0H-b4eK7ochsUWYdIutbmkGFDqu3hNF3hXfJtAVSmSQiFA2kgl1vpv986bqT6AJKps/s1600/homeschool+awards.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_U1XACwO5kCXf8XNdyRzF1V-4UHR7oFfmZHHgUBiTpB2EDIm9KL5LSsM7ftkyT17HWuTSVlj5e0H-b4eK7ochsUWYdIutbmkGFDqu3hNF3hXfJtAVSmSQiFA2kgl1vpv986bqT6AJKps/s320/homeschool+awards.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5746576019173916978" /></a><center>Homemade Homeschool Awards</center><br />We are, however, not planning to take the entire summer off. We're going to try our hand at a bit of year-round schooling. The kiddos and I are going to work on the <a href="http://www.biblebee.org/">Bible Bee Summer Program</a>. I've been struggling to teach scripture memory, so I'm super excited about this program. I've heard good things about Bible Bee as a whole, and I hope the program helps us all. The fun summer events planned for us are a real bonus. (Summer registration is open for only a few more days -- <a href="http://www.biblebee.org/">sign up now</a> if you're interested.)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU3uS7JhvYMMsllqSClYqGAheB56MwtJ0ZysA1dNrZjEGOPok_lUH1IUieQVvq5FYEt4W0Zxp57bwqKAIPtME4ImhGglFQAz-FigtXE_9YCWaJSZFgQqA3Snp-tXhlmD3_esp6mww42wA/s1600/logo.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 220px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU3uS7JhvYMMsllqSClYqGAheB56MwtJ0ZysA1dNrZjEGOPok_lUH1IUieQVvq5FYEt4W0Zxp57bwqKAIPtME4ImhGglFQAz-FigtXE_9YCWaJSZFgQqA3Snp-tXhlmD3_esp6mww42wA/s320/logo.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5746640573614675522" /></a>In addition to working on the Bible Bee, the kids will continue taking in-home piano lessons through most of the summer. They're also ready to begin working on the French and Spanish language programs we ordered from <a href="http://www.bbks.com/">Bilingual Books</a> at the <a href="http://www.homeschoolbookfair.org/">Arlington Homeschool Book Fair</a>. By the time the Texas heat is too much to bear (early July), I think we'll be back in full swing. My mom will be moving in with us by June 23rd, and the three littlest ladies are still on a fairly regular nap rotation, which means we will spend much of our summer right here at home. We might as well be productive, right? Plus, when extra math lessons are assigned at each "I'm bored," I think the kids will be quick to entertain themselves.<br /><br />We took a last minute trip to Disneyworld last month, so we're not planning any travel this summer. Despite not having travel plans and working ahead on school, we'll still have a fun summer. We have season passes at Six Flags over Texas, so we'll spend a few days in Arlington. We'll also participate in some reading programs following the <a href="http://mensaforkids.com/ReaderAward/all.pdf">Mensa for Kids book list</a>. We'll go to the lake and to the park. We'll do some craft projects. We'll ride bikes and take some long walks. We'll visit the neighborhood pool.<br /><br /><center>What are your summer plans? Anything exciting?</center>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-41913247180972821302012-05-21T20:44:00.003-05:002012-05-24T13:57:26.099-05:00Double-Digit Gracie Girl<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjwcnEFrEAXGqhk6U-Zwpcd90fYOeEZ3WXg-pwnKiS-QnOeALVwpjKUHXWn98X5I2s3OwVXx2G8_teSY-R53ie7qIxwtkihKmLeAIIMA6JklHWj1oe_C4t-6Sl1uFR_FM71liolgmGgMI/s1600/gracie+party.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjwcnEFrEAXGqhk6U-Zwpcd90fYOeEZ3WXg-pwnKiS-QnOeALVwpjKUHXWn98X5I2s3OwVXx2G8_teSY-R53ie7qIxwtkihKmLeAIIMA6JklHWj1oe_C4t-6Sl1uFR_FM71liolgmGgMI/s320/gracie+party.jpg" /></a></div><br />Gracie turned ten last week, and my friend Randi, <a href="http://www.dukesandduchesses.com/2012/05/rainbow-birthday-party.html">party planner extraordinaire</a>, stepped in during this very overwhelming season of life to help make her birthday super fun. Gracie wanted a rainbow-themed birthday party, and she had been scouring <a href="http://pinterest.com/graciehugs/rainbow-birthday-party/">Pinterest</a> for ideas. Randi incorporated all of Gracie's favorite ideas, and Gracie and her little girlfriends had a blast at her colorful celebration. In addition to enjoying fun decorations and eating yummy rainbow-themed snacks, the girls made gumball bracelets and visited painting stations for rainbow-themed manicures. They then played a hands-free game wiggling cookies from their foreheads into their mouths while Gracie's birthday music playlist played in the background. It was a simple and inexpensive party, but my girl had so much fun and felt so special. Thanks, Mrs. Randi!</br></br><center>A Rainbow-Themed Birthday Party...<br /><br /><div style='padding-bottom: 2px; line-height: 0px'><a href='http://pinterest.com/pin/27232772717189361/' target='_blank'><img src='http://media-cache-lt0.pinterest.com/upload/27232772717189361_w0c0ImMA_c.jpg' border='0' width='214' height ='320'/></a></div><div style='float: center; padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px;'><p style='font-size: 10px; color: #76838b;'>Source: <a style='text-decoration: underline; font-size: 10px; color: #76838b;' href='http://www.dukesandduchesses.com/2012/05/rainbow-birthday-party.html'>dukesandduchesses.com</a> via <a style='text-decoration: underline; font-size: 10px; color: #76838b;' href='http://pinterest.com/famille_huggins/' target='_blank'>Amanda</a> on <a style='text-decoration: underline; color: #76838b;' href='http://pinterest.com' target='_blank'>Pinterest</a></p></div><br />for one sweet ten-year-old!<br /><br /><div style='padding-bottom: 2px; line-height: 0px'><a href='http://pinterest.com/pin/27232772717189366/' target='_blank'><img src='http://media-cache2.pinterest.com/upload/27232772717189366_1CMwMPEb_c.jpg' border='0' width='300' height ='200'/></a></div><div style='float: center; padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px;'><p style='font-size: 10px; color: #76838b;'>Source: <a style='text-decoration: underline; font-size: 10px; color: #76838b;' href='http://www.dukesandduchesses.com/2012/05/rainbow-birthday-party.html'>dukesandduchesses.com</a> via <a style='text-decoration: underline; font-size: 10px; color: #76838b;' href='http://pinterest.com/famille_huggins/' target='_blank'>Amanda</a> on <a style='text-decoration: underline; color: #76838b;' href='http://pinterest.com' target='_blank'>Pinterest</a></p></div><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Happy Birthday, Gracie!</span></center></br></br>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708181143123805296.post-76533177320366833712012-04-25T09:09:00.000-05:002012-04-25T09:09:30.207-05:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-83WuHjSch58xrcRaw_zc2LfaqdC8ohYijd4uAGyMO3luQVyj5gQBLWuhsSiE77mk47wz4qctK7CnP4uKOZ9i1OYNhBw0n2F-_UmK_nZyA1Zz2l8iYS2paqmcIEGdI5uOP47uUvzCIH4/s1600/FiveCandles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-83WuHjSch58xrcRaw_zc2LfaqdC8ohYijd4uAGyMO3luQVyj5gQBLWuhsSiE77mk47wz4qctK7CnP4uKOZ9i1OYNhBw0n2F-_UmK_nZyA1Zz2l8iYS2paqmcIEGdI5uOP47uUvzCIH4/s200/FiveCandles.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
Happy Birthday, Sweet Baby. Five years have passed since I held you in my arms. I imagine what life would be like with you here, life with another son. Would you be silly or studious? Would you enjoy your schoolwork, or would you be the class clown keeping us all on our toes? Would you be a fan of all your sisters, or would they be a bother? Would you be a bother -- an ornery little mess? What would today -- your fifth birthday -- hold for you? Would training wheels come off today, a milestone event marking a milestone birthday? How would you direct our day? So many questions never to be answered, so many longings never to be filled.<br />
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The time you were here, the time since you slipped away -- it all raced by. My sweet baby, I miss you today as I did that very first day, and my heart longs for the moment you're in my arms once again.Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540060049975721555noreply@blogger.com2