Mandigirl Muses

Fancy Framing

2012-01-06T15:23:00.002-06:00

(In an effort to update my blog a bit more regularly, I'm trying out the Blogger app on my iPhone. Probably old news to most folks, but as I'm new to the iPhone, the app is totally new to me! Please excuse any typos or formatting errors.)

When we purchased our current home, we planned on it being an investment property. We got a fantastic deal in a growing community, so nearly five years ago, we were immediately set to make a profit. Almost as soon as we closed, the market tanked, and retail development in our area halted. Property values haven't increased, and the market -- particularly in our area -- has only gotten worse.

Despite that, we're at the end of our five-year plan, and our family has grown in such a way that we've totally maxed out our space. Sure, with some creative organization, and with the relinquishment of my hobby room, we could live here for a while longer, but we're far from church and friends, we're on the backside of road construction between home and James' office, and we want a bit more out of our "forever" home. The time has come to list and sell. The house isn't on the market yet, but it will be soon.

In an effort to make our house show better, we snagged a new-to-us sectional and chair at a thrift store, pieces covered with neutral, kid-friendly fabric that fit better in the space. We got them for a steal! Then, inspired by the Thrifty Decor Chick, I've been "shopping the house," pulling together pieces I already own and reconfiguring them in attractive ways. I'm most pleased with what I've done with the metal hanging rack I snagged at a thrift store for $7 four years ago. I hung it over an otherwise boring mantle, and I used it to frame a canvas of our most recent family picture. Antique books, a free clock, and clearance tchotchkes round out the display. This might be my favorite home decor effort to date!

Because You Can't Backdate a Baby (A Wrap-up of Sorts)

2012-01-05T23:47:00.001-06:00

I'm notorious for backdating posts, setting aside my very busy life for a while to catch the blog up with all our goings-on. But you can't backdate a baby, or the finalization of an adoption, or the progression of terminal cancer, or the decision to begin homeschooling again, or Christmas. So, I won't. I'll allow the space in this blog to remain to mark the overwhelming spiral that has been my life of late, and here at the very end of 2011, I'll look ahead and plan to stay more in touch with the blogosphere, documenting our nonsense for all who care to keep track.

2011 has been a doozy of a year. James and I were discussing recently that this year our friends have taken it upon their sweet selves to bring us meals on five different occasions for entirely different needs. For someone who doesn't like to ask for nor receive help from other people, that might indicate just how overwhelming our year has been. For a solid week, I've been dedicating daily time to this post -- this one right here -- trying to bullet point all our year, but a week later, I was only able to list our year through June, so I ditched that effort in favor of this very quick update.

Our year was busy and overwhelming. We decided to adopt, we got pregnant, we were matched with a newborn seven weeks after our initial application, my mom got cancer and underwent six rounds of chemotherapy, I traveled to New York City with my friend Marcie, my pregnancy progressed and I indulged my insane nesting compulsions, I attended school full-time, I finished my degree with concentrations in English Literature and Sociology, we enclosed part of our game room to make way for baby, we spent a week in Florida with our friends Marcie and Tobey, we drove from Texas to Iowa to buy a Dodge Sprinter (a van large enough for our growing family), I continued to help lead the infertility/pregnancy loss support ministry at my church, we finalized Elleigh's adoption, we had a baby (hello, Piper!), we celebrated birthdays and holidays, we used season passes to a nearby water park, We traveled to Oklahoma and throughout Texas a number of times, I assisted my sister-in-law as she labored with my newest little nephew, my mom underwent prophylactic brain radiation and had an awful reaction to it (spending a touch-and-go week in the ICU), we traveled to speak on a parent panel at our adoption agency, we were invited to lead the Foster/Adoption ministry at our church, I began homeschooling Bub again, and then we celebrated Christmas. Whew. I know I'm leaving some stuff out, and even this is just the big stuff. This doesn't even begin to cover the neverending laundry pile that five children generate.

And that's the other thing: FIVE CHILDREN. Our Christmas card last year featured our little family of five. Five total. Now, we have five children! Our family has grown so much in one year's time that I couldn't even bring myself to go buy stamps for this year's cards. I chuckle thinking back to my 2011 resolution post, the one I posted right after a "failed" adoption. I wrote, "All along, though, as we've discussed and prayed about this specific opportunity for adoption, we've prayed for God's perfect will to be done. That is still our prayer. We're trusting her decision to parent is His plan, and in that, He has a better plan to satisfy the longing that remains in our hearts. We were sure hopeful, though, that a little set of sweet baby twins was part of His plan to redeem the years of heartache and loss... I'm hopeful 2011 will prove to be a year of growth and blessing in the family way." Clearly, I had NO IDEA what God had in store.

I still don't.

I feel hopeful here at the beginning of 2012. Though I'm in survival mode right now, still nursing constantly, still not sleeping through the night, I feel like there are good things on the horizon. Of course, there are those not-so-good things, too -- there always are -- but regardless of what's coming my way -- good or bad -- I know the Lord is constant and in control. We're open to more family growth, but we're very likely not pursuing another child this year at all. I need some sleep! We are hoping to sell our current house in favor of a "forever" house, but with the market as it is, that will take some serious miracles. Then, with regards to my mom, she still has cancer, and it's still considered terminal, but she's feeling healthy and her most current scans look really good. I'm hopeful she'll live through all of 2012.

Whatever the year holds for us, I pray your year is amazing,
full of all manner of good things.

Blessings to you and yours...

Building a Baby Suite -- Day Six through Eight, or Wrapping it up...

2011-08-02T22:52:00.009-05:00

The changes in the final few days of construction seemed as dramatic as the first. It was exciting to see things coming together, and to be able to get in to do some of the work myself. On day six of construction, the contractor applied the texture to the new walls. He did that on a Friday, which gave me the weekend to paint. I painted the walls on day seven. I used two gallons of mistint paint from Sherwin Williams (only $1.00/gallon), and blended them to get the shade Bub was after -- a sort of vintage blue. I'd love to go over the top and do a vintage surfer theme, but there really isn't wall space for themed items. His comforter is a simple blue and black stripe, and he has orange bins for his Ikea shelf, so instead of an official theme, I think we'll focus on blue and black with touches of orange throughout.

On day eight, all of the trim was installed, caulked and painted. James and I also began loading all of Bub's belongings into the room. He is beyond thrilled to have a new space, and everything he needs will fit nicely with just enough floor space to build some fantastic Lego creations. The contractor is planning one more work day, but that day will be used to clean up, install the door knob, and do any corrections we discover we need (none, so far). He hauled all of his tools out, so as far as I'm concerned, he's finished. It won't be long until we have our lives and our home back all to ourselves!

Day Six

Tenting for Texture

Applying Texture to the Walls

A Goggled Gracie Ready to Help

Bub Imagining His New Space

Day Seven

Ready to Paint!

A Beautiful Vintage Blue

Day Eight

Floor Trim

Door Framing

Loading in the Furniture

Desk and Gaming Cubby

Ikea Shelf Waiting to be Filled

Window Wall

Building a Baby Suite -- Day Three through Five

2011-07-27T22:41:00.004-05:00

Construction of the new room is still ongoing, but the change doesn't appear as dramatic from one day to the next. All the electric was installed and connected on day three. To save us some money, our contractor Wes ran electrical wire and installed all the outlets, switches and fixtures as part of our total construction quote, but he didn't tie in to any power lines. We hired a licensed electrician to come inspect all the work and make the final connection. I'm glad we did it that way because we discovered electricians are super expensive! For an hour of work, we paid the electrician 2/3 of what we paid for construction of the whole room, including materials and days of labor. Still, it was a good investment. We wanted to be certain the work was done correctly so it was safe, and so if there ever were an issue (say, a fire in that area), our insurance company wouldn't have anything to contest. On day four, the final pieces of drywall went up, and the room was taped and bedded. A second coat of mud went up in some areas on day five.

Though we've only had five days of someone actually working in our house, the gameroom has been a construction zone for nine days. I'm really, really ready for the whole process to be complete so I can get back to my regularly-scheduled busy life without having to consistently coordinate my schedule with someone else. Also, I'm super anxious to get to my part of the work! We've now decided to put Bub in the new space since he's the only kid not sharing a room, so my work will include painting all three kids rooms: priming and painting Bub's new room, priming and painting Bub's old room that will become the nursery, and putting a fresh coat of the same color on Gracie's wall. Lots to do -- ready to do it!

The Electrician is Here!

Tying in the Power

Wes the Contractor

Waiting on Mud to Dry

View Down the Long Wall + New Can Lights

View Towards the Window + New Can Lights

View from Gracie's Door

Looking Out

Downhill to Forty

2011-07-20T23:20:00.005-05:00

Today is my birthday, and as James so kindly pointed out this evening, I'm officially closer to forty than to thirty. (I'm thirty-five years and a few hours old.) My mom came over, and we had a simple family celebration with cake and ice-cream after dinner -- perfect for a very busy birthday week!

I love sitting at a table packed with my children. It makes me think years into the future when they're each married with children of their own, everyone packed around a holiday table. I don't want to wish away any of these days, but I'm honestly excited about those days too! I really do feel so very blessed...

The contractors were still upstairs working on the baby suite, so I sent up dinner plates along with dishes of cake and ice cream. I imagine they didn't know it was my birthday, and they probably think we always serve dessert at dinnertime -- they'll be sorely disappointed if they work late again.

Mom setting the cake ablaze

Me asking if the balloons are strategically placed
to hide the laundry on the couch.

Brystol asking me where the new toys are...
(We've been prepping her for her own birthday party in just two days.)

"What, no toys?!"

Fire Hazard

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count.
It's the life in your years."

-- Abraham Lincoln

Building a Baby Suite -- Day Two

2011-07-20T22:52:00.003-05:00

So much was accomplished on day two of construction! When the workers arrived this morning, the "room" was no more than a pile of supplies. By the time they left, it's a real room! There's still much to do, but the progress today is astonishing!

We discovered the little bumpout that made up the computer corner is hollow, so I debated having that wall totally demoed. When we opened it up a bit, though, we could see there were some spare studs in a place that wouldn't allow a total removal of the wall. Instead, I think what we've decided is to have the contractor open up about four feet of the wall from floor to ceiling and install some open built-in shelving. The more time I spend in the little space -- particularly now that the walls are up -- the more I can imagine moving all of the craft stuff in there, and letting the babies have the bigger room. I may have to purge some material and supplies to make it work, but there are absolutely some things I could easily get rid of. I have time to decide, but either way, I'm so glad we made the decision to move forward with construction. It's a perfect solution for us!

Building a Baby Suite -- Day Two

Progress at Lunchtime --
Extra Measurements Taken and Long Wall Installation

Mid-Afternoon Progress --
Door Framing Complete, Door Installed, and Sheetrock Begun

Evening Progress --
90% of Sheetrock Installed, Outlet Boxes Installed
(View from the Stairwell)

(View from Gracie's Bedroom)

Checking Out the New Space

Building a Baby Suite -- Day One

2011-07-19T18:20:00.011-05:00

Adding children to our family this round has been a whirlwind, and I feel like every action and decision has taken me three times as long to complete or make. Sometimes life and all these little blessings wear me out to the point that I'd rather just lie down than do or think about anything. Thank goodness I have a dear friend who is exactly three weeks more pregnant than me because when she feels motivated to nest or prepare for her new little girl, I feel compelled to prepare for mine. Miss Motivated has already had her nursery painted, purchased furniture and bedding, had a baby shower, and is working to fill baby's dresser and bookshelves. All of her busyness inspired me to call in a couple of contractors to get quotes on building a new baby room.

When Elleigh first came to live with us, and as we pondered our pregnancy, I initially said I wasn't going to build a baby suite. As this particular floor plan had a fifth bedroom option, we have space upstairs for one, but we want to sell this house and move closer to church and friends next year, so I didn't really want to invest the time and money to renovate (unless it was necessary to sell). I contemplated giving up the hobby room -- which James insisted upon -- but as I sat sewing on one side of the room while three kids did crafts on the other side of the room, I decided I wasn't prepared to relinquish my personal space. At that point, James and I began considering a couple of renovation options -- enclosing a third living space we rarely use, or enclosing a rarely-used section of the game room. In the end, we opted to enclose the unused game room space. The installation will be faster and easier, and the upstairs renovation is the more affordable option.

The new enclosure will technically be an "office" since it's on the smaller side, and since we're not installing a closet. For now, though, we'll use the small space to house Elleigh and the new baby. First of all, I don't feel like resorting, reorganizing, and transferring all the stuff from the hobby room into a new space. Secondly, it's not unusual for several of us to be using the hobby room at one time, so we do need more space to spread out supplies than will be available in the new room. There's plenty of space in the new room for two cribs and two dressers, and babies really don't need any more than that. When we get closer to selling, I'll sort the hobby room to pack up some rarely used supplies, then I'll swap the rooms. For now, though, I'm quite happy with the choice we've made, and I can't wait for it to all come together.

Building a Baby Suite -- Day One

Relocating the Play Kitchen and Toy Shelf
(This is Brystol's cheese face. When the camera comes out, she stops to say "cheese," even if the picture is not of her.)

The Soon-To-Be Baby Suite

Big kids standing where walls will soon be...
(Bub is right where the bedroom door will be located.)

Contractors hauling in supplies
(Note the broken window I discovered when I raised the blinds for the photo.
Clearly, I should have said "Don't throw stuff in the house" a million and ONE times.)

DIY Girl -- Elleigh at Four Months

2011-07-17T18:05:00.006-05:00

At barely four months old, independent Elleigh has taken to holding her own bottle from time to time. She still rolls back-to-front and back again, only now she's also planking, lifting her stick-straight body up onto her arms and toes. Her core strength is incredible! She sleeps on her tummy with her knees pulled under her, booty in the air. A couple of times, she's worked to pull her knees up underneath while awake and kind of wiggled in a direction, though not on purpose I'm sure. Still, it won't be long before her movements are intentional in that regard and she'll be fully mobile instead of just accidentally ending up in places. She chatters and coos at both people and toys, and loves to be right in the middle of the action -- a good thing for baby number four!

To Paint Like a Child

2011-07-11T23:58:00.003-05:00

"It took me four years to paint like Raphael,
but a lifetime to paint like a child."

-- Pablo Picasso

First Time at Summer Camp

2011-06-24T23:39:00.003-05:00

For the first time, Bub and Gracie went away to church camp. Since we're not a sleep-away family in general, they were both excited and full of trepidation before spending time away from home. We prepared by talking about all the fun things that they'd be doing, and by letting them know they could call us anytime they felt especially scared. We got one silly letter from Bub, and Gracie called home twice, but in the end, there were no significant issues with fear or homesickness. Gracie roomed with a good friend from church, and Bub is friends with everyone he runs into. Both kids had compassionate counselors, and they each had so much fun, they hardly missed us at all.

Ready to Go!

Bub, age 10

Gracie, age 9

Gracie's Handmade Camp Hat
(she prepared herself for camp by making crafts in advance)

Mischief Makers

2011-06-23T12:36:00.007-05:00

"Grandparents are there to help the child
get into mischief they haven't thought of yet."

-- Gene Perret

Nanny with Elleigh, three months old

Lullaby

2011-06-16T23:14:00.007-05:00

Now the day is done,
Now the shepherd sun
Drives his white flocks from the sky;
Now the flowers rest
On their mother's breast,
Hushed by her low lullaby.

Now the glowworms glance,
Now the fireflies dance,
Under fern-boughs green and high;
And the western breeze
To the forest trees
Chants a tuneful lullaby.

Now 'mid shadows deep
Falls blessed sleep,
Like dew from the summer sky;
And the whole earth dreams,
In the moon's soft beams,
While night breathes a lullaby.

Now, birdlings, rest,
In your wind-rocked nest,
Unscared by the owl's shrill cry;
For with folded wings
Little Brier swings,
And singeth your lullaby.

-- Louisa May Alcott

Elleigh at Three Months

2011-06-10T22:42:00.002-05:00

At three months old, Elleigh is such a content little baby. She coos and gurgles at everyone, but she loves Dad the best. She's such a happy baby, she reminds me of Buddy the Elf -- "I just like to smile. Smiling's my favorite." She's falling into a very nice feeding schedule and has already begun sleeping though the night. She's so strong and has been rolling back-to-front and back again for some time. In fact, we put her on her back in the crib, but find her sleeping best when she rolls to her tummy with her little feet crossed at the ankle. She prefers this position and returns to it, even after we carefully roll her to her back again. It honestly is such a blessing that Elleigh is pretty easy and very predicable. We'd love her even if she were more of a challenge, but having a tiny one with such a go-with-the-flow attitude really does make things so nice.

Summer at the Waterpark

2011-06-09T21:04:00.004-05:00

The kids and I purchased season passes for a local waterpark this year. This particular waterpark chain is Christian in nature, and their objective is to bring families closer together. There are scriptures posted throughout the park, and the lifeguards are dressed modestly. The parks are smaller in size, so they feel safe. All around, it's an environment I feel comfortable taking my children to.

We purchased our passes in advance of this pregnancy and Elleigh joining our family, so we thought our excursions would be easy. When summer arrived, we had to decide how we'd swing park visits. Only once have we left Elleigh with a sitter, otherwise she joins us each and every time we go. I pack her in an otherwise unused Infantino baby carrier and wade around with Brystol in the shallow end of the wave pool. Bub and Grace head off together to the kid climbing structure and waterslide within eyesight, checking in in person every few minutes. Together, we go to the "lazy river" where I walk alongside kids in rafts and Brystol in her baby float. Admittedly, our waterpark visits are not always easy, but they're not impossible, and they're always lots of fun!

Sprinkler Fun

2011-06-05T22:20:00.002-05:00

Over a weekend break from my summer classes, James and I loaded the kids up and drove to Oklahoma for a quick overnight visit to Marcie's house. We really didn't plan to make the trip, but after a long phone conversation with Marcie on Saturday morning, we spontaneously opted to spend lunchtime and baby naptime driving, putting us in Tulsa mid-afternoon. The grownups guzzled tea while playing cards and dominoes, and the kids played in the sprinklers, ran in and out of the house, ran up and down the stairs, and played dress-up, Barbies and video games. We left late Sunday afternoon and made it home just in time for bedtime. It's always fun to reconnect, even if the trip was random and rapid.

Bathtime Babies

2011-06-02T22:03:00.006-05:00

Sweet sisters sharing a bubble bath...

Making a call on the boat phone

Trying to figure big sister out

Beautiful Babies

Brystol -- 22 months old
Elleigh -- 2 months old

Babywearing Inside and Out

2011-06-02T19:46:00.005-05:00

This is me wearing 2-month-old Elleigh in a ring sling at ~20 weeks gestation. I'd prefer to wear her in my Moby-like wrap, but it's grown too snug already, and the Ergo has too many straps and buckles to feel comfortable right now. I've found she does well in the Mei Tai (that still fits), but I'm on the hunt for something new to wear while pregnant. I'm pondering and pinning a few DIY wrap options, but not surprisingly, I'm not finding many babywearing ideas specifically geared for the pregnant mommy.

Elleigh Loves Daddy

2011-05-27T21:53:00.005-05:00

Elleigh ♥'s Daddy
2 1/2 months old

Elleigh at Two Months

2011-05-21T18:17:00.003-05:00

Once upon a time, we were concerned with Elleigh's eating habits, but not anymore! At two months, Elleigh weighed in at 11 pounds. She gained three pounds in one month, which is half her body weight on the day we brought her home. She's also such a happy baby, and her new little smile is so lovely. This sweet little girl is such a joy!

Glamour for Gracie's Ninth

2011-05-14T23:37:00.006-05:00

For Gracie's ninth birthday, she opted to celebrate with a low-key day of glamour and relaxation. I don't know if all the busyness and upheaval in our family of late had anything to do with her decision, but when I presented the option of a day alone with me and one special friend, she jumped on it.

Gracie invited her school friend Jane to join the family for breakfast at The Snooty Pig where she opened presents and ate sugary cupcakes immediately after sugary pancakes. After breakfast, the girls and I ditched Dad, the brother, and the babies for some time alone. After a quick stop at Starbucks for even more sugar, the girls enjoyed mani/pedi appointments at a local salon geared for tweens. Once they were all gussied up, we caught a showing of African Cats at the Fork & Screen. (Note: a pregnant woman eating Thai Chicken Tenders while watching an enormous lioness rip apart a dead zebra will not finish her meal.) Though it would have been fun to have had a party with lots of friends and frivolity, I think the peaceful day of undivided attention was just what Gracie needed. She sure seemed to have a happy birthday.

Let Us Commence

2011-05-13T23:14:00.005-05:00

After what feels like ages of hard work and long, late nights, school for me is coming to an end. Though I have nine hours to complete over the first two summer sessions, I was invited to participate in the May 2011 Commencement Ceremony at Texas Woman's University. Despite the hard work, I've really enjoyed taking classes. Adding more tiny children to our family in such rapid succession, though, has made the work more stressful, and I'm glad to be wrapping up this season. When all is said and done, I will graduate cum laude (with honors) with a degree in Sociology and English Literature.

It was very special to have my family at the ceremony with me. James took the morning off, we kept the big kids home from school, and my mom came along. Brystol and Elleigh spent the morning being cuddled by a few of my mommy friends. The ceremony was divided by college, so the process was short and sweet. A very nice reception provided by the university followed.

A couple of people have asked what I plan to do with this degree, and at this point, I plan to do nothing more with it than I did without it. I'm an at-home mom, and that's not changing. I just wanted to finish what I started a long time ago, both for the sense of personal accomplishment, and as a back-up plan. (After a couple of airline scares involving my traveling husband, I wanted to be proactive about completion while I had at-home support in case I were ever in a position to need it -- which I pray I don't, at least not in that context.) Perhaps since I no longer have to read and research for a class, I can do more reading for fun. Since I no longer have to write for a class, maybe I can keep up with this blog. I am planning to spend more time in Bible study, and in addition to baby playgroup, I'll be joining a mom's group in the Fall. I'll also continue to co-lead the Hopeful Hearts group at our church. Even without formal coursework, all these commitments plus parenting five kids (three of which will be age two and under) will keep me plenty busy for a while.

Making Mother's Day Memories

2011-05-08T23:55:00.012-05:00

My mom came over to spend Mother's Day weekend with us. Since she now has terminal cancer, she's being very intentional about spending time with friends and loved ones, and spending Mother's Day weekend with me and with a large portion of her grandkids just fit. We went to church and dinner on Saturday night, then had a lazy Sunday morning opening gifts and going out for breakfast. I had flowers delivered to Mom's house before her weekend with us, and James and the big kids put together the "Grandma & Me" Hallmark Conversation Book for her to open on Sunday. Hearing the kids share special memories about their Nanny was precious, and Mom really treasured the gift.

James and the kids showered me with gifts and goodies, and Mom gave me the "Close to Me" Willow Tree figurine. The card insert read, "Let us always remain close. These figures stand for the bond that no distance can tear apart." She said when she saw it in the store, she just sat and cried, and when she gave it to me, I did the same. My relationship with my Mom hasn't always been perfect, but we've always been together, and the fact that she'll die sooner than any of us expected breaks my heart. I will miss her more than anyone in the world, and she insists that she'll miss me even when she's in Heaven -- though I seriously doubt that. Having Mom here to make Mother's Day memories with us was very special, but I sure wish things were different and we were together this year because we love to celebrate together, not because it might be our last opportunity.

Making Mother's Day Memories

Summer Stylin'

2011-05-07T23:35:00.002-05:00

My two little girlies were ready for some summer stylin'. Gracie had been growing our her hair for a long while, but decided at the end of the school year that she really wanted to have it all cut off. Because it had taken so long to grow, and because she loved fixing her hair so much, I made her wait and think about that decision for about a month before I set an appointment at the salon. When she was absolutely certain a short cut was the way to go, we made a girl's day of it. As for Brystol, she just needed to have all of her wispy baby hair trimmed and shaped, so she got to join in on the fun.

Waiting to See the Stylist

Look How Long!

Keeping Brystol Still by Making Fish Faces

Pretty Pixie Cut

Ready for the Big Cut

Plenty to Donate

Summer Stylin'

Elleigh with Binky, by Brystol

2011-05-01T23:00:00.004-05:00

Brystol is still absolutely smitten with Elleigh. She used her doodle pad to draw a picture of Elleigh with a binky in her mouth. Not bad for a toddler drawing!

Brystol -- 21 months

Natural Born Organizer

2011-04-26T19:59:00.004-05:00

Natural Born Organizer

Brystol, 21 months

Four Years Later: Blessed

2011-04-25T00:08:00.004-05:00

Four years ago today, our son Zachary was born prematurely. He died one hour and forty-eight minutes later. I think back to that day, to that unimaginable pain, and I remember wondering how I would survive. I have survived.

There are days I still miss him terribly. I dream of what life would be like with him here. There are days I wonder why Zachary's death was necessary, and I hunt to see ways his brief moments on Earth have changed things. Without a doubt, I can say because of Zachary's death, doors have been opened for me to share both my heartache and healing through e-mails, forum discussions, personal connections and a support group I co-lead at our church. Additionally, the physical modifications I underwent following his passing and my openness about them have allowed me to share with other hopeful mothers, and I know of at least a handful of babies who have survived pregnancy and are living because of my willingness to share. Brystol survived pregnancy. Our fifth child -- our FIFTH CHILD -- has a real chance at life because Zachary died.

Undoubtedly, the biggest and most obvious change has been within my own heart. I have learned our time on this Earth is fleeting, and I treasure moments I might have overlooked before. I have learned to trust the Lord in a much much deeper way, and that affords me unexplainable comfort when new hardships arise. In all the pain, in all the questioning, these are the questions that return to me the most: "Why in the world when I ask a question does God have to answer it with Christ? (Because He is the answer.) Why when I ask for direction does God point to Christ? (Because He is the Way.) When I really get down to it, my sole purpose here on this Earth is Christ: to know Him, to love Him, to become more like Him, to tell others about Him." Though my heart's desire was to be a mother to many, through grieving the loss of our son it became clear my purpose on this Earth is to point others to the cross. To my great pleasure, as my focus shifted away from being the mother to many to pointing others toward the cross, I'm suddenly the mother to many with more on the way. Indeed, I have been richly blessed.

"He settles the childless woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
Praise the LORD."

Psalm 113:9

Easter 2011: Celebrating

2011-04-24T23:39:00.006-05:00

Our family had an especially sweet time celebrating Easter with our newest little bunny. The big kids were still excited about dressing up for church and unloading baskets, and Brystol really got in on the fun, enjoying the new toys and "can-nee." We'll need a bigger table to set out baskets next Easter!

Bub, Age 10

Gracie, Age 8

Brystol, 21 months

Elleigh, 6 weeks

Scenes from the Day

Happy Easter
from Our Family to Yours

Easter 2011: Jesus Is Risen!

2011-04-24T13:22:00.001-05:00

"Now after the Sabbath, toward the dawn of the first day of the week,
Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the tomb.
And behold, there was a great earthquake,
for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven
and came and rolled back the stone and sat on it.
His appearance was like lightning, and his clothing white as snow.
And for fear of him the guards trembled and became like dead men.
But the angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid,
for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified.
He is not here, for he has risen, as he said."

Matthew 28:1-6 ESV

The Cancer Journey: The Big Hair Cut

2011-04-19T23:31:00.003-05:00

Mom's hair began falling out about a week before her second round of chemo. She'd had her hair cut from longish to quite short in anticipation of this, but we didn't expect it to start falling out so soon. We thought after the second or third round, not the first. Hopefully, this means the chemo is working well.

She told me she was standing outside in the heavy Texas winds and noticed her hair blowing away. She said it felt like she was blowing away. It was time for her hair to come off. When I went to shave her head, it astounded me just how much hair she'd lost in the few days since I'd last seen her in person. Though her hair had been cut short, it was still quite thick at our last visit. When I came over this time, her hair was so thin and large clumps were missing out of the back.

We took a few pictures before the big hair cut, as well as a couple during and after. We all cried during the cut, but I felt a bit better after it was done. Mom has been working hard to adjust. She's learning how to tie and wear scarves.

Nanny with the Kiddos

Mom with her foster sons, Dennis and Matt

Mom and Me

The Big Hairdo

Beautiful Baldie

On Open Adoption and Visiting the Birthparents

2011-04-17T16:35:00.004-05:00

We were very apprehensive about moving into an open adoption arrangement. Though we knew the benefits to having access to the birthparents, and though we understand the benefit to their having access to baby, we were very concerned about what that relationship would look like for our family. We were afraid we wouldn't be able to handle the dynamics of the relationships. So far, though, our open adoption arrangement has gone better than expected.

When we initially got Elleigh, we decided to exchange cell phone numbers with the birthmom. She was very sweet and we felt like we'd like to remain in contact with her. Over the month, we've had a number of very pleasant text conversations, and I've been able to send her some pictures of Elleigh over these first few weeks. We've had more contact than we planned, but we also understand she's young and coping with a loss. In light of that, it's been a pleasure to bring her some comfort.

We also offered to meet her when we returned to the agency for our first adoption support group meeting. That meeting was this weekend. We planned to meet her at a restaurant in her home town, but at the last minute, our meeting was moved to the agency. We'd be meeting the birthfather for the first time, and our social worker felt that initial meeting should be done with a worker present to answer questions, facilitate conversation, etc.

We were nervous about meeting the birthfather, but he was very gracious and expressed thanks for our adopting Elleigh. Both he and birthmom cuddled the baby and took pictures with her. Birthfather compared Elleigh to his other children and agreed with us that she looks just like her birthmother. It was awesome to spend some time with both of them. We're hoping to see them both again when we return to the agency for our next meeting in June.

Elleigh at One Month

2011-04-10T16:37:00.003-05:00

It's hard to believe, but our little Elleigh is a month old already! She's such a sweet blessing to our family. She's generally quite content, but she loves to eat, and she is very vocal about her need to eat exactly every three hours. Though she's bottle-fed, Elleigh is nowhere close to sleeping through the night. The doctor thinks she'll be sleeping through the night by twelve weeks or so (something about weight gain and development). I'm so tired, I honestly cannot wait.

Elleigh also doesn't love her car seat, and she's been known to complain when she's strapped in for long car rides. Fortunately, my friend Jenny recently shared a car seat swaddle trick, and our car trips are MUCH improved. Besides these two minimal little issues, Elleigh is quite the content little baby. She loves to be swaddled, held, cuddled, or worn in a baby wrap. She's very alert and deeply gazes at the person holding her. Her curls are coming in beautifully. We're still just so excited to have her as a part of our family, and we feel blessed to watch her grow and change.

Itty-Bitty Baby Helper

2011-04-05T20:59:00.001-05:00

Brystol loves Elleigh and is a great itty-bitty baby helper!

Our Springtime Surprise -- Baby #5!

2011-04-04T15:53:00.005-05:00

I was in New York on April Fools Day, and there I announced our springtime surprise -- Baby #5! I was 11 weeks pregnant at the time, and only a few people commented with a "yeah right." Some friends and family already knew and officially congratulated us, so a couple of days later when I posted a sonogram picture, it was funny to me how many people admitted they thought our announcement was a joke.

It's not a joke -- I'm pregnant. Of all the months to conceive, we conceived right before we adopted a newborn. Of course, we didn't know things would happen as they did. I had a positive urine test (or nine) the weekend before our adoption homestudy on Valentine's Day. We felt concerned about having a homestudy while pregnant, but we decided to move forward since I am so prone to miscarriage. If I stayed pregnant, we planned to announce our news to the agency at the end of the my first trimester, the weekend we attended our first adoption support group meeting. We thought we were on a two- or three-year track for adoption, so even if we went to term and we were blessed with an adoption match, our two littlest would still be a couple of years apart in age. Little did we know we'd be matched with a new little baby just thirty days after our homestudy!

When the agency called about our match, I was eight weeks pregnant at the time. We shared our surprising news and asked if they had any concerns. The social worker said they didn't as long as we didn't. We didn't! We felt having two little ones seven months apart would be no different than having twins. Irish twins! What we didn't really think through was adapting to an up-every-three-hours newborn schedule while tired from pregnancy, or having another sleepless newborn while the elder Irish twin is newly sleeping through the night and beginning to crawl about. It's been interesting to parent a newborn while growing another baby. Needless to say, I could sure use a nap!

As for baby, so far, so good. I've already been rotated between my OB/GYN and my MFM specialist. With supplementation, my progesterone level was fairly stable early on, despite some daily spotting that lasted several weeks. At this point, my cervix looks good and the placenta appears to be developing nicely. I had the nuchal translucency scan to test for Down's Syndrome, and baby seems to be growing well with no disorders. I'll continue seeing each doctor every two weeks until later in the pregnancy when the appointments become more frequent. I'll begin taking the 17P hydroxyprogesterone injections again sometime between 15-17 weeks.

With all of our struggles to either get or stay pregnant, it blows my mind that if all continues going well, James and I will be the parents of FIVE CHILDREN. Insane! We feel so, so blessed. Though life feels very out of control right now with everything else going on, it's been hard to obsess over this pregnancy, and time seems to be flying by -- not that I'm complaining! I'm sure I'll have a "list," but I don't have time for it to be insane. We'll need an even bigger car, so that's at the top of the list. As for home projects, we just need to work on some routine maintenance stuff. At this point, we'd still like to sell this house and move closer to church and friends sometime next year, so I hate to invest a lot of time or money to add a new baby suite upstairs. We'll see -- lots of decisions to make. I need that nap first.

Pregnant me at 11 weeks
(Tired from traipsing about NYC)

Baby #5 at 11 weeks + 3 days

NYC Girl's Trip: Day Four

2011-04-03T23:01:00.005-05:00

Sunday was our final day in New York City, and after three super busy days, we decided to slow way down on Sunday morning. We had breakfast at a nearby luncheonette and we spent the morning strolling through Central Park. We were both just a little bit sad to leave the city, but we were super excited to return to our homes and families. Four fun-filled days was just enough time to see and do all we wanted. New York City was amazing -- I can't wait to return with James and all of the kids!

Breakfast at the New York Luncheonette

Dakota Hotel and Strawberry Fields

Sunday Morning in Central Park

NYC Girl's Trip: Day Three

2011-04-02T23:08:00.005-05:00

Day three in New York City was to be as long and as busy as day two. We began the day with a second trip to Ess-a-Bagel (so delicious!), and though we didn't have a lot of actual sightseeing planned, we had planned a long day of shopping. Between the flea market in Hell's Kitchen and a visit to Chinatown, we hoped to load up on lots of goodies. Lots of things at the flea market were good for admiring, but not so good for carrying home on flights, and Chinatown wasn't the bargain mecca we thought it might be. In the end, we walked away with a few souvenirs and interesting trinkets, but we didn't purchase near as much as we prepared and budgeted for.

We also visited the Carnegie Deli for the biggest Reuben sandwich ever. We spent the afternoon checking out the Guggenheim and exploring the Metropolitan Museum of Art (admission for both of us: $10 after one free admission for Bank of America cardholders and one discounted student admission). We returned to Rockefeller Center later in the evening to admire the nighttime skyline from the "Top of the Rock."

Ess-a-Bagel: The Most Delicious Bagels in NYC

Hell's Kitchen Flea Market

Artistry in Chinatown

Sharing a Reuben at Carnegie Deli

The Guggenheim

The Metropolitan Museum of Art

Rockefeller Center

The Nighttime Skyline from the Top of the Rock

Day Three: Street Scenes

NYC Girl's Trip: Day Two

2011-04-01T23:23:00.005-05:00

Day two was long and busy. We got up and out early, and we packed so much into a few drizzly hours. We fueled up at Ess-a-Bagel, a most delicious New York bagel shop. We had everything bagels topped with olive-ladened cream cheese, then we hit the metro for a busy day on the town.

World Trade Center

Statue of Liberty

Ellis Island

Saint Patrick's Cathedral

Shopping on 5th Avenue

Times Square

Toys 'R Us in Times Square

Day Two: Street Scenes

NYC Girl's Trip: Day One

2011-03-31T23:08:00.013-05:00

For Christmas, James gave me a girl's trip to New York City with my best friend Marcie. With a brand new baby at home and a newly sick mom, I thought I'd have to cancel. Fortunately, Mom was secure and stable, and James felt confident he could take care of all four kids by himself (with some meals and help from friends popping in). He and Mom both insisted I go, so I went. I'm very glad I did.

Life was super busy for both Marcie and I all the way up to the day of departure. Last night, we were still texting each other about what we were packing. She even texted this morning before she boarded the plane in Tulsa to make sure I was still boarding in Dallas -- ha! We had some ideas of things we wanted to see and do, but we had no specific itinerary. Fortunately, James also gave me a Frommer's guide to New York City, so on the plane, we decided to loosely follow the "NYC in Three Days" plan found inside. We eliminated a few things from the suggested itinerary and filled in the open spots with things that were more important to us (like visiting the Central Library and scoping out the best bagels).

Our Hotel -- The Waldorf Astoria

Grand Central Terminal

The New York Public Library

Day One: Street Scenes

A New Sense of Sorrow: My Mom's Battle with Cancer

2011-03-29T14:36:00.002-05:00

The day we came home with Elleigh, my mom went to the hospital. The week before, she'd had a sudden onset of a kind of paralysis in her legs. They felt heavy, she couldn't move them well, and she collapsed at work. Her symptoms weren't anything so concerning that she went to the hospital at that time, and her doctor didn't feel concerned enough to send her to the hospital later in the day when she came into the office. The doctor adjusted some of her blood pressure medication and sent her home to rest for the weekend, and on Tuesday, the doctor told my mom she thought maybe she'd had a slight stroke. She'd need further tests to confirm which would be done on an outpatient basis, but a headache later that evening sent her to the ER. She was admitted and tests began the next day.

After a whirlwind week of tests and various false diagnoses, two biopsies and some other tests confirmed my mom has Oat Cell Carcinoma with a comorbidity of Eaton Lambert's Syndrome. Oat Cell Carcinoma is a very aggressive type of small cell lung cancer. "SCLC is the most aggressive form of lung cancer. It usually starts in the breathing tubes (bronchi) in the center of the chest. Although the cancer cells are small, they grow very quickly and create large tumors. These tumors often spread rapidly (metastasize) to other parts of the body, including the brain, liver, and bone. Almost all cases of SCLC are due to cigarette smoking. SCLC is rare in those who have never smoked" (BaylorHealth.com). Eaton Lambert's Syndrome is a neurological disorder that accompanies 4% of SCLC diagnoses, and this is what caused the numbness in her legs that still persists.

By the time she got her diagnosis, we had such a sense of mistrust towards the doctors at the hospital she was at. I did some research and had her care transferred into the Baylor Health Care system. We hooked her up with an oncologist who has extensive experience dealing with Oat Cell Carcinoma. We really like him and his approach to this type of cancer. She's already undergone her first round of chemotherapy and has another round scheduled for later in the month. After a couple of rounds, the radiologist will try to determine if he can add radiation to her treatment plan. Surgery is not an option with this type of cancer.

I've been very overwhelmed by this diagnosis. The reality is this cancer will be part of my mom's death. There's no cure for this cancer, and the treatments they do merely buy time. On a positive note, her cancer was caught earlier than it typically is, so we're hopeful she has years to live instead of months. Though we all know death is imminent, it's been sad to watch her come to terms with a timeline. It's also been sad to watch a very strong, independent woman reach a point where she has to physically rely on people -- for rides, to help her off the ground when she falls, etc. The speedy progression of this disease has also been overwhelming as just thirty days ago, she was working full-time and leading a busy life. To so quickly be so ill is a challenge.

I've been meaning to update for a while, but I thought if I waited, someone would come along and say she'd been misdiagnosed and all would be well. That hasn't happened -- and it won't.

Time to deal with reality, I suppose.

As for where I am, I'm very sad about this cancer, and I'm very sad about the fact that every day my mom lives will be one of her last. Anything we do is tainted with the knowledge that this could be the last time, or that we're prioritizing because she's dying. The reality of all she'll miss and how I'll miss her absolutely consumes me from time to time. It's been a challenge to know how much to share with the kids. We've been honest, but reassuring so they won't feel scared, but then they struggle to understand my random tears. They're not sure what to think, and we're not sure how much to tell them. God's grace is enough even in this, I just wish I didn't have to know that for sure.

"The difference between shallow happiness and a deep sustaining joy is sorrow.
Happiness lives where sorrow is not.
When sorrow arrives, happiness dies.
It can't stand pain.
Joy, on the other hand, rises from sorrow and therefore can withstand all grief.
Joy, by the grace of God, is the transfiguration of suffering into endurance,
and of endurance into character,
and of character into hope --
and the hope that has become our joy does not
(as happiness must for those who depend upon it)
disappoint us."
-- Walter Wangrin, Reliving the Passion

"The things we try to avoid and fight against
-- tribulation, suffering and persecution --
are the very things that produce abundant joy in us.
Huge waves that would frighten the ordinary swimmer
produce a tremendous thrill for the surfer who has ridden them.
"We are more than conquerors through Him" IN all these things
-- not in spite of them, but in the midst of them.
A saint doesn't know the joy of the Lord in spite of tribulation,
but because of it.
Paul said "I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation."
-- Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (Rom 8:37, 2 Cor 7:4)

That Was My Monday, How Was Yours?

2011-03-19T23:20:00.002-05:00

Monday began as a day like most every other day. James was at work, there were chores to be done. The kids were on Spring Break, but we had no plans to do anything special. I logged into my online classrooms to happily discover all of my deadlines had been postponed so I could celebrate Spring Break too. I spent about an hour Monday morning working ahead on some coursework before deciding I'd better dedicate my free time to finishing our life book. If we ever hoped to be presented to birth moms by our agency, completing that book was a necessary step. I logged off the computer and began setting out some lunch for the kids.

Before lunch was totally served, the phone rang and the Caller ID reflected the number for our adoption agency. I thought our social worker was calling with an update on the progress of our home study report, or maybe with some last minute questions. The week before, he had all of our documents -- references, background checks, financial reports, tax returns, etc. He'd completed our interview and had a copy of the home study we completed during our first adoption. One week prior, he was about 75% through pulling it all together and synthesizing it into one master document.

I answered the phone to some small talk with our social worker. How was the weather? Did we have any plans for spring break? Was James out of town for work? Nothing unusual -- until he said, "Well, maybe I can change your plans this week." I was confused by his statement, but the social worker began telling me about a "Baby Born" situation. A little girl had been born three days earlier. Her birth mother wasn't from the area -- she was in town visiting friends when she went into labor. She'd planned to relinquish her baby throughout the pregnancy, but she never made an adoption plan. She connected with the agency while in the hospital. Initially, the agency presented her with another family -- a family with all of their documents in place who had a life book on file -- and she chose them to parent her baby. This family had traveled in, excited to adopt this tiny girl. They'd stayed with her from the time of her birth, but just that morning, they notified the agency that they were unable to move forward with the adoption. They said they were having some family issues and felt that the two children they'd already adopted completed their family. With heavy hearts, they left baby in the hospital and headed home again.

By this time, both the birth mother and birth father had relinquished their parental rights and the agency was the legal conservator for the baby. Even though it had only been SEVEN WEEKS since we sent in our initial adoption interest form, and though we had a little bit of work to do to pull the last of our documents together, they thought we would be the perfect family for her. Were we interested? Uh, yes! James and I talked in depth about the opportunity before us, and we had a couple of conference calls with the agency to get some background information before leaving town, but within four hours of the initial phone call, we were on the road to meet our daughter.

We met the agency workers in the hospital lobby around 9:00, and they took us to the NICU. There, they made copies of our IDs and accepted documents from the agency naming us as the adoptive parents. The agency workers stayed with us for about an hour. They were there to answer any questions and to be available as the nurses gave us a health update on the baby (a good report!). After an hour, they both slipped out, leaving us to bond with the baby. We named her Elleigh, a name that means "Shining Light" and "Most Beautiful Woman." We gave her the middle name Nicole, a middle name she shares with her birth mother.

We stayed with the baby for a while, but had to get back to the other three kids who were hanging out at Uncle Jerald's house. We got everyone settled into bed at the house, but neither James nor I could sleep. This was better than Christmas! After tossing and turning, I got up, showered, and went back to the hospital around 2:00 A.M. to do the middle-of-the-night feeding. Better get back into practice, right? I stayed until close to 4:00 A.M., then returned to the house for a short nap before shift change at the hospital. I slipped out again before anyone else was awake and stayed with Elleigh until her doctor made his rounds and determined she was ready to be discharged. While the nurses worked with Case Management to make sure all the proper documents were in order, I filed for medical records to be released. Then, I returned to collect James and the kiddos for a day at the agency.

At the agency, we both asked and answered a few last minute questions, then we signed document after document in preparation to take our baby home. Once our paperwork was complete, the social worker designated to work with the birth mom drove over to pick her up so she could come to the agency to spend some time with us. Our social worker ran out to pick up lunch for everyone.

Those moments waiting to meet the birth mom were so tense! We were so worried she wouldn't like us or she would think her little baby filling the #4 spot was unacceptable. Agony! But after only a little while, the most amazing young woman came into the room. She was just so lovely -- physically beautiful, sweet-spirited, soft-spoken. She hugged us when she met us. She laughed at Brystol's antics and didn't seem at all put-off that baby Elleigh was going to have three silly siblings. She asked us some very important questions and answered all of ours. She was simultaneously strong and sorrowful, and her love for this little girl was overwhelmingly undeniable. Meeting this amazing young woman was, without a doubt, one of the most poignant experiences of my life.

When the hospital called to say everything was in order for discharge, the social workers felt it would be best if we went to the hospital together. The worker sat in the waiting room with Bub, Gracie and Brystol, while James and I sat with the birth mom in the NICU as she said her very sad goodbyes to baby Elleigh. In all that we'd done to prepare for those moments, despite the times we were told about the grief that accompanies adoption, we felt completely unprepared for the grief the birth mom obviously felt. Perhaps it would have been easier for us if we'd had time to build a relationship in advance of placement, but watching her mourn was so heartbreaking. We did all that we could to comfort her while giving her space to grieve -- we waited with patience, we handed her tissues, we prayed for and with her. Still, that gut-wrenching sorrow made the joy we felt seem so awful. It was challenging to reconcile it all.

After birth mom spent some time with Elleigh, she left the room before the baby was discharged. James went to the waiting room with the kids, and I collected Elleigh and all her things. The kids saw the baby for the first time in the hallway of the hospital, and right away, they were totally taken with her.

The birth mom and her social worker were outside the hospital, waiting for us. We hadn't really been given instruction on what to do at this point, but we knew the plan right then was to return to the agency for a just a little more one-on-one time. We noticed the worker kept making comments about the baby in our family. They waited to watch us load everyone into our van, then the worker waited to pull away until after we were already driving off. I don't know that this is the case, but to me, it seemed as if she were sort of arranging scenarios so the birth mom could see her baby leaving, sort of forced closure, making things final. We wanted to be sensitive to the birth mom's heart, so even these small things were a challenge for us.

Within our car, though, there was joy. James and I were excited and the kids were through-the-roof thrilled. Brystol was a bit confused as all the way from the hospital back to the office she repeated "baby, baby, baby" in case we weren't sure there was an extra passenger on board. Before we pulled up to the agency, we instructed the kids to put their excitement on a bit of a hold for just a little while. We all wanted to be sensitive to the birth mom whose heart was hurting very much. The big kids understood and complied, but Brystol was just way too excited about the baby. She walked all the way into the agency with her hands on the car seat still repeating "baby, baby, baby." Fortunately, this served as a bit of comic relief and even the birth mom couldn't help but chuckle at how excited and loving Brystol was already.

We spent about an hour at the agency before we had to make our exit. Because we'd rushed out at the agency's phone call, we hadn't thought to grab the travel crib or any clothes for the baby. We had the car seat and absolutely nothing else! We needed to get home to the baby bed and all of our things. Oddly, we were unsure how to leave. It's not everyday someone gives you a baby to take home for good! Do you just say, "Hey, thanks! We'll see ya!" and head on out, or is there a process? Fortunately, both social workers came in to guide us through this part. They told the birth mom it was time for us to go, then they prayed for all of us. They gave her the choice on who to hand the baby off to. After she gave us the baby, she stepped outside to make a call, and when she did, the social workers told us to just go. They said that there was no need for delay, just take our family and walk out the door, and we did just that, though it felt absolutely awful. (I think this was another one of those closure moments they wanted the birth mom to have etched in her mind -- us walking away with our new daughter.) The worker followed a step or two behind us and was immediately present to comfort the birth mom as we passed her by.

The whole experience was so bittersweet -- such joy mingled with such sorrow. We felt so blessed, but at the same time, we felt so bad. We kept going back to the wise words our social worker shared when he told us this was her choice, she knew it to be right, and though it was so hard for her, we were the only source of hope she had for her daughter.

About three hours later (as we were still on the road towards home), the birth mom texted me to see how we were and how baby was. The conversation was amazing, and we were able to express our deep gratitude towards one another. We felt so grateful for the blessing of this baby, but before we could even say that, the birth mom thanked us for loving Elleigh and for making her a part of our family. What an amazing woman!

We've had a happy few days at home now. Friends and family have celebrated with us and showered us with new mommy meals and lots of baby essentials. We've had a couple more incredible text conversations with the birth mom, we shared some pictures by e-mail, and we planned to connect with her in person as we travel through her home town next month. As for baby, Elleigh is so easy and so precious -- we're all in love! She's eating well and sleeping well and she's tolerating all the passing around we do. It has all felt bit overwhelming from time-to-time, and though we are so thrilled, the fact that the Lord opened this door for us in this way and in this short amount of time, and the fact that this sweet birth mother entrusted this little one to us for life blows our mind now and again. Finding our routine and adapting to life with a new little one is helping us to feel like this is our amazing reality and less overwhelming and imaginary. Still, we feel like we should pinch ourselves to wake up from this happy dream! We're so grateful for those who have walked and continue to walk this path with us, and we're so grateful to God for this astonishing gift. We are so very blessed!

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly
than all that we ask or think,
according to the power at work within us,
to Him be glory..."

Ephesians 3:20-21 ESV

A Month in a Minute

2011-03-08T12:23:00.005-06:00

I noticed this morning that it's been nearly a month since I updated my blog. One reason is that I've not been able to log into Google to access my Blogger account. I've reset my password several times and tried a number of things, but everytime I tried to log on, the path appeared to go somewhere, but it would never log on. I downloaded Google Chrome this morning, and surprise -- all my Google accounts work again. I have only a minute, so I'll give a quick across-the-board blog update now.

Adoption: We are in process. The social worker from our agency drove up on Valentine's Day to complete our home study. We've honestly worried about this process for years. The first home study we had (before we adopted Bub) felt so long and invasive that we just dreaded the one we'd have to do for this adoption. But, because we had all the information on that first home study and because we were very thorough in completing our very long adoption questionnaire, the actual home study interview was a piece of cake. The social worker did want to clarify some things and to get a bit more information, but for the most part, he just clarified his understanding of the answers we provided. He toured our house, interviewed the kids, then interviewed us all together. At the end of the day, he said he was excited to welcome us into the program and encouraged us to begin working on our life book while he wrote up the first draft of the study.

As of today, he's about 75% through with that first draft, and we should get a copy by Friday. We're at the early stages of our life book. We've completed all the documents to be included in our life book, we've devised an outline of the photo layout, and we've scanned and printed photos to include in the book. We'll have to print a few more photos down the line, but we have enough to get started. We just have to find/make the time to get started! I was hoping to complete and submit the life book by the end of February, but I've revised that goal and now hope to ship it off by the end of this month.

School: Part of my absence can be attributed to my busy school schedule. I'm at the midpoint of the spring semester, so things are REALLY busy. Additionally, I've been trying to work a bit ahead so that I can go to New York later this month and not have to log in to class (at least not as often as I generally have to log in to class). Three of four classes are going well. The fourth class is awful. I'm taking a Family Science class called Family Resource Management, and while the information is great, the instructor is terrible. She doesn't log in to the online classroom, she doesn't open discussion links or assignment shells, she doesn't grade work, and she doesn't reply to e-mails -- all problems in a 100% online course. I called the department head last week to address some of the issues we all were having and a couple more grades have posted, but there are still a number of issues to work out. Hopefully things will improve by week's end.

In other news, I picked up my cap and gown and ordered graduation announcements this week. Though I won't officially graduate until August, I'll commence in May -- just two more months! I met with my grad advisor to map out the last nine hours I'll need to complete after this semester. If all works out as we hope it will, I'll take one class during the "Maymester" and two more classes over the first half of summer. I'll complete my coursework by July 9th, and then I will take a long and much needed nap. For a while, I was thinking about continuing on with school, taking advantage of the routine I'm already in, but with the adoption looming ahead and some other things we have going on, I think it's a really good time to take a break from school and just focus on my family. I honestly feel a little bit anxious about how I'll fill the time now filled with British Literature and Sociology exams, but I'm sure I'll manage. I'm hoping a good bit of my new free time will be spent in the hobby room.

Kids: Everyone is pretty much the same. Even though we have nothing planned, the kids are excited about Spring Break next week. I'm excited to have them home and hope that we can do a few fun things around town. We're all ready for summer. We just ordered season passes for a new waterpark opening in a nearby town. We also registered the kids for summer camp -- their first ever. They're so excited to go, but we feel a bit nervous. We're confident Gracie will have fun and do well, but Bub is our wild card. I keep reminding myself of the fact that these counselors are excited to work with kids and they have experience dealing with kids who require a bit more attention. I think if he can focus and think about that action-to-consequence sequence, he'll have a really great time.

Brystol is growing. At nineteen-months-old, she's way too big for her britches. She's such a fun kid, but lately she's been working on developing her big, bad attitude. She tries to have a fit when she gets frustrated, but many times she gets distracted by the fact that we're laughing at her and the whole situation diffuses. Her vocabulary is increasing rapidly and she's working on forming sentences and using commands. Last night, she patted the edge of the bathtub and said, "Mommy, sit." She also pretends to read books by talking about all the pictures in the books, and when she's through, instead of saying "the end," she says "amen." It's so fun to watch her grow!

I Was Featured: DJ Lance Doll on Gabba Friends

2011-03-08T08:24:00.005-06:00

Just a quick blog fly-by to say that the DJ Lance doll I fashioned for Brystol's Christmas present was featured today on the Gabba Friends website. I'm sporting my very first "I was featured" button in my sidebar, and the blog post I wrote has become my most popular post yet. How fun!

In Response: Some Thoughts on Infertility and Pregnancy Loss

2011-02-10T00:01:00.005-06:00

Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, is one of my favorite public speakers. Not only do I enjoy listening to his talks online, I follow him on Facebook and Twitter, and I enjoy reading the comments he makes about his work and family life. A couple of days ago, he mentioned a friend who was likely miscarrying twins for the second time in recent years. Most followers responded with promises to pray and general words of encouragement. Some came along and related -- said they too had experienced loss. Some even asked to be encouraged themselves. In the midst of all the relating or the sharing of compassionate words and understanding in response to a man's cry for help for his heartbroken friend, one person came along to say this:

"There's a spirit that needs to be addressed. Seek the Lord's face on this, fast, pray, have faith. Declare God's counsel, he does not will that these children die. There's probably some curse or sum underlying cause in effect."

Really?

The discussion thread began when a Godly man mentioned impending heartache for his presumably Godly friends. The discussion thread was full of comments from people saying, "This just happened to me -- how do I cope?" The thread was equally full of prayer and pain. I'm sure the heart behind the curse comment was genuine, and I'm sure the poster meant well, but in the end it was all open mouth, insert foot. Though I'm not presently blogging about infertility or pregnancy loss, it's not because I'm no longer infertile (I am) or because I haven't had a recent pregnancy loss (I have, just five months ago) -- we're just going a different direction to grow our family, so topics related to my personal fertility aren't on the tip of my tongue, or the tips of my fingers as it were. Still, I couldn't read this (likely unintentionally) insensitive comment and not respond. This is what I said:

@T.S. -- Can pregnancy loss be the result of sin? Sure. We live in a fallen world, we're a broken people. Is it always the result of a curse, as you mentioned? No. God's will is sovereign and He opens and shuts wombs as He wills. He does what He will for His glory, and He can and will be glorified even in the devastation of infertility and loss. Sarah was old and menopausal when God opened her womb to conceive (Gen. 18:10-14, 21:1-3), but she was infertile while her peers -- and their children -- conceived. "And Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife, because she was barren. And the Lord granted his prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived" (Gen. 25:21-- in verse 26, you can see Isaac prayed for Rebekah's infertility for TWENTY YEARS before she bore their children). Jacob's Rachel was infertile (Gen. 30:1) until her sister and servants bore Jacob many children, "Then God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her and opened her womb" (Gen. 30:22). "Hannah had no children (1 Sam. 1:2)," but after Hannah prayed to God, "Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her. And IN DUE TIME Hannah conceived and bore a son" (1 Sam. 1:19-20). In these cases, there was no instance of sin or of a "curse" -- these are stories of God doing what God wanted to do in the timing He wanted to do it. These are the wives of faithful, Godly men -- men who would earnestly seek God no matter what, men who would pray for their wives, men who could be used to bring glory to God, even during heartache. It is unfair to assume that infertility and loss is the result of some secret sin or some lack of faith. Many times, that is far from the truth. Still, even if it were TOTALLY and most obviously true, as a Christ-follower, that is one of the most awful things you can say to a grieving mother or father. They should be met with love, grace and compassion (and a casserole never hurts).

photo credit: unbornangels.com

Snowmaggedon Part Two, A.K.A. The Snow Flake

2011-02-09T14:10:00.008-06:00

"It's coming back," they said. "Snowmaggedon, Part Two." Old Man Winter was returning with a fury, and five or six more inches of snow was expected by the morning commute today. Schools would be canceled on Wednesday for sure, and with the weather only worsening as the day progressed, schools would likely be canceled Thursday too. It was going to be terrible. That's what they said.

With such dire predictions, I decided I'd be more prepared for the impending winter storm than I was last week. I skipped a fun outing with my friend Randi so I could work ahead on assignments for school. I battled the crowds at Kroger to make sure my pantry was stocked both chips and dip. I went shopping at Academy for waterproof boots and gloves so the kids could play in the snow all day long. We ate dinner out to get that desire out of our system, then I picked up a couple of Redbox movies before heading home to hunker down. The kids stayed up late watching "Breaking Weather Reports," then went to bed excited about the blizzard they just knew they'd wake to because on the news that's what they said.

Gracie bounded down the stairs this morning, bundled in all of her warm winter gear, pulled on her new gloves and boots, and rushed outside to --the snow storm that totally flaked out.

Remembering the wimpiest "blizzard" ever
still meant school was canceled
made her a happy girl once again.

The fact that the snow stopped falling early
and the sun has been out all afternoon
makes Mommy a happy girl, too.

Recipe: Shortcut Sweetheart Sugar Cookies

2011-02-08T23:21:00.002-06:00

In a baking mood but left with limited time, the girls and I made Shortcut Sweetheart Sugar Cookies. I'm hopeful that cutesy name makes me seem a little less like a slacker by making cookies using the ready-made store-bought dough already in my fridge. No effort whatsoever! Whether it does or doesn't, using pre-prepared dough made the cookie-making process quick and simple -- exactly what I needed with my ~~littlest~~ messiest helper on hand.

Gracie added a bit of flour to the dough to stiffen it and make it suitable for rolling. I used a pin dusted with flour and rolled the dough until it was about 1/4" thick. With Valentine's Day in mind, heart-shaped cutters were used to punch the dough. Scraps and edges were rerolled and the process was repeated until the dough was used up. We baked the cookies for about 10-12 minutes per batch -- a bit longer than the package suggests -- then dusted them with red sugar crystals while they were still warm.

Easy and Delicious!

❤ A Sucker for Love ❤

2011-02-07T23:00:00.008-06:00

We're exchanging valentines at Brystol's baby playgroup this month,
so I made some sweet little cards to exchange.

The cards I made are loosely based on a Family Fun project I spotted.
They're simple cardstock hearts with scalloped edges
and a DumDum sucker attached. The sentiment reads:

I'm a SUCKER
❤ for love ❤
Happy Valentine's Day!
from Brystol

Snow Day 2011 [Day Five] -- A Bit of Building and Melting Away

2011-02-05T23:32:00.003-06:00

The sun was out on Saturday morning and the snow began to melt away. Before it was all gone, the kids spent a few more hours out in it. Gracie built a little snowman, and she and Bub helped the neighbor children build an igloo. Though we'd grown sick of the mess it made, the totally disrupted schedule it caused, and how trapped it made us feel, we were honestly a bit sad to see the snow go.

Snow Day 2011 [Day Four] -- A Fresh Batch

2011-02-04T23:30:00.003-06:00

Late last night, a fresh batch of snow fell on Texas. The old stuff hadn't melted, but it had iced over and was neither pleasant to look at, nor fun to play in. This new batch is powdery and perfect, and the kids have had a blast out in it. (Mom likes to watch from the window, running out only for photos.)

Snow Day 2011 [Day Three] -- Cosleeping

2011-02-03T23:57:00.007-06:00

I love this picture -- I took it on Tuesday. Brystol was sick and vomiting on Monday, and though she was "better" by early afternoon, she still wasn't 100% until late Tuesday. James was snowed-in on Tuesday, but as the day progressed, he wasn't feeling 100% and developed a fever as the evening drew near. This is a picture of the two sickies intersecting, meeting up for an impromptu nap on the couch.

As the once-upon-a-time magical snow day sticks around for its third take, I'm feeling pressured by bored kids who don't want to play in the snow-turned-ice. I'm also a distance learning student with deadlines, and snow days don't exist on the internet. This picture takes me back to a simpler, more peaceful time of this never ending "snowpocalypse" where people were happy and naps were possible.

Tuesday, how I miss you...

Snow Day 2011 [Day Two] -- Making Do

2011-02-02T23:32:00.010-06:00

We're on day two of snow here in Texas. Because we're (1) unprepared and (2) stuck at home, we're making do on a lot of things. We're making do on the menu because Brystol was sick and vomiting on Monday -- my normal grocery day -- so I missed out on shopping. We have all the basic necessities, but we were running low on some things, and though the storm was eminent, I didn't go out for a last minute grocery run. I think it's silly to go into crisis mode before an inch of precipitation, but we have way more than an inch of snow and I cannot get out of my neighborhood. I forgot how much people eat when they're here all day and all night and there's snow on the ground, and that's a problem when the pantry is already slightly understocked. We have chips with no dip, and other similar issues, so nothing serious.

Really frustrating, though, when you could really go for some dip.

We're also making do with our warm winter gear. Despite the fact that we've consistently had snowy days the last several years, it's hot in Texas about 88% of the year and I've just not gotten into the habit of buying snow clothes and winter boots. I just don't think about them until it's too late. Fortunately, the kids don't mind. They've been playing out in the snow because they're kids and they don't care about frostbite, but I'm all about warmth and safety and keeping fingers in their proper places. How thankful I was, then, when a friend shared an unusual winter tip on Facebook that we tried with success -- put a pair of plastic gloves on between two pair of non-waterproof fabric gloves.
Dry hands are warm hands!

Snow Day 2011: A Magical Day in Texas

2011-02-01T23:14:00.010-06:00

A Magical Day in Texas

Snow days in Texas are always magical. Sure, we're entirely unprepared for them -- we don't own snow boots or waterproof gloves, stores never carry more than three or four snow shovels, business shut down and roads are impassible. Life slows down, whether you like it or not. Fortunately, we like it.

An Agency Decision and Application

2011-01-23T16:12:00.005-06:00

After reading lots of online reviews and Better Business Bureau reports on our top three agencies, we've decided to move forward with the little local agency. We met the agency workers in person two years ago when we attended the education weekend and had our initial intake interview. We appreciate their genuine hearts for adoption and feel really secure investing with them, both emotionally and financially.

We completed our first giant stack of paperwork and mailed it out yesterday -- an updated parent fact sheet, the adoption questionnaire/application, faith statements, and our receptivity forms. Now, we wait for the official program acceptance letter and the home study interview appointment. (Because knowing us more personally helps with the matching process, the agency social worker wants to be the one to complete our home study, so we'll stop working with the local worker and pass along what we've already done.)

Stepping Out and Changing My Heart

2011-01-21T17:50:00.014-06:00

As we've prayed about agency choices, I've continued to pray for our would-have-been birthmom and the twins she's now parenting. For the last couple of days, I've felt strongly compelled to send a little something her way -- practical things, things I know she needs -- to show that we wholeheartedly support her choice to parent and harbor no ill feelings towards her. As we were getting ready for bed last night, I told James how I was feeling, but he was reserved -- he didn't want my gesture to come across incorrectly or for it to seem like we were stalking her or her babies. Initially, I agreed with him and decided to ignore the burden on my heart.

By this morning, though, that burden was back and stronger than ever, so I decided to go against what my husband thought -- not normally something I'd recommend. On Black Friday, I stocked up on boxes of baby wipes, so I snagged a box from the storage shelf and headed towards Babies R' Us. I had some coupons and reward dollars from some Christmas purchases I made, so I justified my plans by committing to keep my spending around what I could pass along for free or for very little money. The closer I got to Babies R' Us, though, the more I worried James was right. Maybe she wouldn't understand my gesture as one of genuine love and honest support and maybe I would seem like a stalker.

In my concern, I didn't call my husband -- I called my mom. I told her what I'd felt and what I thought I was supposed to do, then I asked her if she thought it was weird. "No, I don't think it's weird, I think it's nice, but here, talk to D." D is the babies' grandmother, and she played a significant part in connecting us with her daughter. She and my mom were working together today. After the adoption didn't work out, I didn't really expect to talk to her again, but she seemed very happy to talk to me and apologized for things not working out as we'd all hoped. I assured her we were fine and that we were so honored to have ever been considered as possible parents for the babies. Despite that arrangement falling apart, God is faithful and He has a plan for us.

I explained to D that we've been praying about our next step and the agency we're to work with. (Side note: we've decided we're going with the little local agency we loved so much before having Brystol). I continued by telling her that I've still been praying for birthmom and the babies. I shared that I felt impressed to pick up some diapers and essentials as a gesture of love and support, but that I had concerns about my offering being offensive or coming across as predatory. D was overjoyed. She said my gift would be a tremendous blessing, that birthmom was completely overwhelmed and deeply struggling. She said that birthmom was in a very hard place financially and was actually coming up within the hour to go to the store with D to pick up diapers -- diapers D couldn't actually personally afford to buy.

At that point, I called my husband for forgiveness (because sometimes it's easier to get forgiveness than permission -- ha!). I relayed the conversations and told him I was outside of Babies R' Us, then I confirmed it would be okay for me to buy a few things. When he knew the gift would be well-received and wouldn't seem weird, he was behind it, so I picked up some diapers and a few other essentials and headed towards the Home Depot where my mom works. I just planned to drop the stuff with a note, but about ten minutes before pulling in, D called me to say birthmom was so grateful for our gift and wanted to talk to me. She gave me her number and encouraged me to call. So, I did.

I'm so glad I did.

All the "conversations" we had before the babies were born were mediated by our respective moms, or were between me and Grandma D. Several times, James and I offered to meet birthmom and her boyfriend to let them get to know us better, but birthmom was scared and boyfriend was oppositional. Talking to her today was so natural and easy. She talked to me like I was an old friend and went on about how overwhelming parenthood is. I did my best to encourage her and I promised it would get easier. She said if she hadn't decided to parent, I was definitely the mom she would have picked for her kids. "Thank you," I replied, "I would have been honored." I told her I was on my way to the store to drop off the things I'd collected, and she said she was on her way up to meet me there.

Birthmom was so beautiful-- just a regular girl in a puffy black jacket with hair dyed pink and a rhinestoned bow. She noticed my nose ring and compared it to hers. She thanked me for the diapers and asked if I wanted to see the babies. I did, of course I did.

The babies were so beautiful -- scrunched little bundles of honey skin with tufted black hair, perpetually drowsy. They looked like Gracie as a baby, a small version of James. We visited for a few minutes, and when we parted ways, I did not feel sad. Sure, those sweet babies were perfect and would have been wonderful additions to our family, but they were perfectly hers and my heart was at peace.

Meeting this birthmom today was such a blessing. As long as we've planned to adopt (both before Brystol and of late), I've had some concerns about open adoption. Our situation with Bub is special. We've heard amazing stories about open adoption, but our adoption story with Bub is different, and we can't look to it as an example of something we can hope for in the future.

When we began exploring open adoption and had to consider including a birthmom in our lives for the long-term, Bub's birthmom is the sort of birthmom that came to mind. Long story short, the thought of inviting someone like her into our stable lives is not something I've ever personally been very excited about. We expressed concern to our social worker, even asked about the possibility of having an anonymous adoption, but he assured us that, when the time comes, God would bring the right match to our family -- both baby and birthmom. He reminded us that, even then, we have choices and can negotiate for things that make us comfortable. Still, I've remained unsure about that relationship.

Stepping out and doing something unconventional today led to a face-to-face meeting with our would-have-been birthmom, and meeting her both opened my eyes and changed my heart. She wasn't an angry and aggressive person. She wasn't high or strung out on anything. Nothing about our conversation was forced, uncomfortable, or frustrating -- we talked easily like we'd known each other for a good, long while. We hugged when we parted. She was just a regular girl who wanted the best for her babies, and who, at one point, thought adoption might be that best thing.

Sure, she didn't choose me to parent her children, but today she showed me that there are indeed nice, normal people out there considering the adoption option, and that what I've always assumed will be an impossible relationship might not be so bad after all.

photo credit: tensionnot.com

On Molly Piper Scarf Knots and Looking Like a Zombie

2011-01-20T21:18:00.006-06:00

I love scarves, but I never know how to wear them in a way that doesn't make me look stupid or that doesn't leave the scarf slipping off my neck every three point five seconds. Recently, Molly Piper shared a Works For Me Wednesday vlog showing how to wrap a scarf in a most interesting braided knot. I tried the technique today with a clearance scarf I picked up last week, and I love it!

I tried to get a better, more direct shot of the knot and not of my hands waving about wildly, but I got 693 pictures of the wall beside my mirror and this one of me looking remarkably like a zombie.Please pardon the stare of death.

Watch Molly to see how it's done...

Recipe: Marmalade Chicken

2011-01-19T19:59:00.009-06:00

Last winter after drooling over some food blogs, I sent an e-mail to my canning friend Marcie and begged her to add tangerine marmalade to the lot of jars she planned to prepare for me over the summer. A few months later, UPS dropped a box of sweets on my doorstep -- blackberry jam for Bub, tangerine marmalade for me. The marmalade was so bright and so delicious, it was like sunshine in a jar! It was better than I imagined it to be. No doubt about it, Marcie takes care of those she loves.

The spring semester just began for me, and in an effort to make some decent dinners in the midst of my busyness, I've been relying on meal starters I have stored in the freezer. I thawed some cooked turkey and planned to put together a casserole, but I decided instead that I wanted to make something other than a noodle dish with a heavy, creamy base. I searched AllRecipes.com, my go-to recipe site, and came across a simple poultry dish using up the delicious marmalade. This is the recipe before I modified it:

Sweet Orange Chicken

Ingredients

* 5 pounds bone-in chicken parts
* 1/2 cup orange marmalade
* 2 cups orange juice, or as needed
* 3/4 cup dried cranberries

Directions

1. Place chicken into a Dutch oven or large saucepan. Stir together the orange marmalade and orange juice; pour over chicken. Sprinkle in the cranberries.
2. Bring to a boil over medium heat, and cook for 30 to 40 minutes, or until chicken is no longer pink, and the juices run clear. Check occasionally, and add more orange juice if necessary.

The original recipe calls for bone-in chicken, roasting it in the marmalade, but my technique was simpler. I put about 4c. of deboned, pre-cooked poultry in a Dutch oven, then thinned about 1/2c. marmalade with some juice and warmed it on the stove. I poured the warmed marmalade glaze over the poultry and let the whole lot simmer together in the oven for about 30 minutes at 425 degrees. While the turkey heated, I cooked a pot of rice, steamed some broccoli, and made a bit more marmalade glaze to top the final dish. When the rice cooker shut off, I took the turkey from the oven and shredded it, then served it atop the rice drizzled with a bit more marmalade glaze. The steamed broccoli was served on the side.

This dish is reminiscent of a sweet Asian dish. It's so simple and so delicious -- it's a new family favorite!

The down side? I'm out of tangerine marmalade.

Gracie's Bee

2011-01-18T19:08:00.003-06:00

Last week, Gracie participated in her school spelling bee. She was one of two students chosen from her language arts class, the other was her BFF Sarah. There were thirty-four kids total gathered from the third, fourth and fifth grades. The winner of the school spelling bee moved on to the district competition, then regionals before the Scripps National Spelling Bee. I think that's how it goes!

Grace made it through four rounds. She was knocked out in the fifth round when she left the "i" out of the word "maimed." More than half of the kids were out when Gracie was eliminated, and Sara fell out in the same round. The two spent the rest of the day laughing about some of the word choices, making light of their losses by pretending to be spelling bee word presenters on game shows.
Our Little Competitor

Gracie's Sweet Friend Sarah

Brystol's First Haircut

2011-01-18T18:53:00.005-06:00

Brystol's bangs were getting a bit unruly.
Time for a trim...

Step One: Put the baby in the bath.
Distract her with a cup...

... and ignore the fact that she's drinking bubbly bathwater.

Step Two: Gather said unruly bangs.

Step Three: Take a steady aim.

Step Four: Snip away.

All better!

Brystol loves her cut!

Pretty Girl

Agency Options and the Financial Aspect

2011-01-16T18:16:00.012-06:00

With regards to an agency, we're still undecided.

We had a very good conference call with the firm in California, and we have another call scheduled later this week, but we're not sure at this point if we'll retain them. Though we personally know two families who have grown with their assistance, and though they have a number of excellent reviews, they also have some very bad reviews. We've read everything we can find on them with open hearts and minds, knowing that these processes are emotionally-charged and some of the negative comments about them can come from hearts still reeling from the pain of infertility and/or loss. Still, the points that were made drum up legitimate concerns for us that could make or break the whole deal. When we spoke to our case worker, we brought up these issues, and while she responded to them, her responses were generic (as they had to be) and didn't necessarily leave us feeling at ease.

For the sake of the privacy of friends who have or who are still working with them, I've tried to figure out how to address some of our concerns here without divulging too much of the financial information, but I can't figure out how to do that and make any kind of sense. Still, I'm going to do my best. E-mail me if you feel you need specifics.

First of all, let me say that adoption is expensive. Unless you're taking advantage of a foster-to-adopt program through a state agency, you're going to spend thousands to grow your family through adoption. Right now (2011), the government allows a tax credit of $13,170 to reimburse adoptive families for some of their expenses. Additionally, the military and some employers provide adoption reimbursement programs as part of an employer benefits package. James' employer provides a sizable adoption benefit, and the combination of these two things will go a long way towards covering our personal adoption expenses. In many cases, the two combined will cover our expenses in full.

The agency in California is essentially an adoption facilitation agency. That means they facilitate the relationship between a birth family and adoptive family, sort of like a recruiter or matchmaker. This group actively pursues birth parents through advertising and through relationships at maternity homes, clinics, etc. They invest a great deal of money both in advertising and in screening potential birth moms, eliminating those who are just thinking about adoption, and only taking on parents who are committed to the process. Because they financially invest in developing this pool of birth parents, they have a proven history of matching families very quickly, often in as little as four months, but because the process is so thorough, the birth families are so well-screened, and the process has the potential to be so short, the initial financial investment for the adoptive family is pretty substantial.

What we'd be expected to invest with this group alone would completely consume both our tax credit and our employer benefit. Birth mom expenses, finalization expenses, legal fees, and various other charges would pass through to us, and we could conservatively be expected to spend an additional $5,000-15,000 above the fees for facilitation. If circumstances were special, that number could jump even higher. All of the funds aren't due in advance -- a large sum is due with the contract and initiates the process, and the balance for facilitation is due when a birth mom is interested in matching with the adoptive family. Fees for documentation, legal fees, and other expenses are paid later to different groups or individuals. In total, the cost of working with this group to secure a domestic adoption arrangement costs about as much as adopting internationally.

While the money is not the issue, one of the issues we had did relate to the money. As most agencies do, this agency promises to rematch families if the originally matched birth mom backs out of the agreement. A complaint we read before our consultation was related to this promise. Every family signing a contract spends virtually the same amount, but the second amount -- the match fee -- is not due until a match is made. The family who complained said that this group did indeed connect them with a birth mom within a short amount of time, but she backed out soon after the match, and they'd been waiting over two years for a rematch. They accused the group of only presenting families who would still be required to pay the match fee, ignoring those who would owe no more money. When we asked our consultant about this complaint, she reminded us of a number of things that could delay a match -- preference in sex or race, preferences about birth parent behavior, etc. She said it was likely that particular family's specifications that delayed their match, and while she's very probably right, we still felt concerned.

Part of the reason we're pursuing adoption right now is because we know the process takes time, often years. We would like to grow our family sooner rather than later, but right now, waiting does not concern us. The opportunity for those twins -- presented privately and due so soon after matching -- was an exception, not the rule. We're working on this now, anticipating a somewhat lengthy waiting period. Still, waiting more than two years after such a substantial financial investment? No thanks. I imagine we'd be free to go with another agency at that point, but we'd just be out the initial $XX,XXX, and without a placement, we couldn't file to get that money back from anyone.

The little agency we planned on working with before discovering we'd conceived Brystol had only ever had one family wait longer than two years for a placement, and even that family felt comfortable waiting that long. (I got the impression that they'd declined matches, although I cannot confirm that.) We recently had another call with that agency, and while they only had eight placements last year, they only have five waiting families right now with another baby due tomorrow. If all goes as planned, they'll have four active families by the weekend. Four additional families are in the process of completing their homestudies and will begin being presented soon.

When we met with the staff of this agency in person, we really liked them and we trusted them. We felt secure giving them our money -- though the don't require any until a match is made. We're already a couple of steps ahead with this group -- we participated in the pre-application seminar a couple of years ago, and we've been invited to a refresher meeting at no additional cost. We're a few steps into the process of our homestudy, so that agency would complete it with us and could begin presenting us to birth moms as early as the end of February. Match through finalization with this agency is about 25% of the cost of the group in California because birth parent services, including counseling, are paid for by charitable contributions from the community. This little group really strives to minister to both families, adoptive and birth, and they work hard to keep total adoption expenses below the federal tax credit. If we chose to go with this agency, we could very likely designate the entire benefit provided by James' employer to cover the medical and/or living expenses of the birth mom, which would, I think, put us at a significant advantage. What is not advantageous aboutb this little agency is the very small number of matches per year, and the fact that this group does no advertising.

I've been reading about an agency in Georgia that seems to me to be a happy medium. While they aren't as aggressive about advertising as the California group, they do advertise. They advertise both to promote adoption as a general option and to promote specific families, and they advertise both in print and electronically. Also, I'm not sure yet how they do it, but somehow they have the ability to keep costs low in Texas. I don't know if they have a local agency office, but they quote low travel costs and low finalization fees, and they promote no need for Out-of-State agency (ICPC) fees. The overall listed expenses fall in between the two other options we've most closely considered. This group is a more expensive option than the little local agency, but they still fall well below the facilitation fees of the first agency (and that's not even considering the additional expenses due to people outside of the California group). Additionally, there's still room in our reimbursable funds for some unexpected charges before we'd be required to personally absorb expenses.

We feel a little guilty so carefully considering the financial aspect of this process, but the reality of our situation is that we already have children to care for and support. While it's true that we have access to a good bit of adoption assistance, it's all in the form of reimbursements and won't be returned to us for some time after placement -- maybe even a year or more. There are grants available for adoption, but the majority seem to be need-based (for which we don't qualify) or they're for international adoptions (an option we're not pursuing). There are also interest-free loans available for adoption, but at this point, we don't feel comfortable financing this process. Since we'll be paying for all of this in advance and entirely out-of-pocket, we anticipate some sacrifice to see this through, but we don't want to spend so much on a child that we might not have for a long while that we have to say "no" to many of the normal, everyday expenditures for the children we have already.

Freshening Up

2011-01-15T15:21:00.005-06:00

After a morning spent shuffling HTML and CSS code, I've made a few changes to the ol' blog design. Everything should both work and display properly, but if it doesn't, would you let me know? I've learned over time that while things might look great on my monitor, they don't always look as stellar elsewhere, and I'd deeply appreciate comments if something seems to be non-functional or just looks out of place.

Frugal Friday: Tips to Trim the Grocery Bill

2011-01-14T00:44:00.001-06:00

Frugal Friday posts contain personal money-saving tips
and/or are collections of news articles or blog posts related to finances or frugality.

I frequently post deals and bargains on my Facebook page, so recently a friend asked if I could share some money-saving tips for a luncheon she's speaking at soon. I compiled a short list for her, and I thought I'd share the same information here. Much of this information is not new -- I've shared tips before by either by writing about them or by putting them into practice -- but all of the information bears repeating.

Trimming the budget is a good idea regardless of income. In most cases, there are a number of things that can be done to reduce spending. Being honest about how money is spent and truly tracking your spending is the first step to determining ways your personal budget can be trimmed. Look back at bank statements to determine how your funds are spent, then begin researching money-saving alternatives. Unless you’re an extreme couponer and are already filling your pantry for free, there are always ways to trim the grocery budget. Again, this is just a short list of ways to save -- there are so many ways to whittle away at the grocery budget and implementing even some of these ideas will leave money in your pocket.

(1) Use coupons. Coupons are an easy way to save money, and they're not just for "poor people" or people with lots of time on their hands. I once heard Dave Ramsey talk about the #1 coupon user being the rich person,* and while I don't see Paris Hilton whipping out her coupon binder, I know plenty of people who have large salaries and still get excited about saving on paper towels. Find coupons in the Sunday paper, print them off the internet (coupons.com or other websites), load them into your phone (cellfire.com, store websites), load them onto your store savings card (store websites), visit manufacturer websites to request coupons, buy them on eBay or through an online clipping service, ask for inserts from friends and family members, etc. Save more by “stacking” coupons – use one manufacturer coupon plus one store coupon on a single product, or pair your individual manufacturer coupons with a dollars off store coupon.

(2) If you only purchase groceries at big box retailers, you’ll likely save by switching stores. A simple switch from Wal-Mart to Kroger will often reflect savings. Not only are many items similarly priced or cheaper at Kroger, Kroger has great sales, frequent markdowns, and they double and triple any coupons you apply. Check out stores in your area to compare prices, then ask about sales, markdown dates and coupon policies.

(3) A simple way to save no matter where you shop is to switch from name brand to store brand. Most stores offer identical products under their own label – so identical, in fact, that many grocery manufacturers make the generic product as well, they just slap on a different label. Try some products and make the switch.

(4) Keep your eyes open and look for savings everywhere. I’ve purchased some incredible grocery and diaper deals at Walgreens while in the store to fill a prescription.

(5) Shop more than once per week. For people prone to impulse buying, this is not a good plan, but for those with restraint, this is a way to save money over the long term. The sale prices will not change, but markdowns occur daily – ask when markdowns happen in the store you frequent. As an example, our family is eating primarily organic products now. I’ve learned I can find most organic dairy and produce markdowns at the beginning of the week at the store I shop most often. That’s when I plan my biggest shopping trip.

“What, markdowns? Isn’t that stuff bad?” No, it’s not. Stores cannot sell products past their expiration or “sell-by” date, but they mark them down significantly just before products reach those dates. Also, a "sell-by" date is not the same as an expiration date -- keep that in mind when purchasing anything. I personally do not recommend consuming food or using products that are expired.

** Milk is often marked down 5-7 days before the “sell-by” date, and while experts agree that milk (especially organic milk) is good for ~2 weeks after the “sell-by” date, kids and cooking consume the product well before the date comes into question. In a pinch, milk can be frozen for later use, just pour a little off the gallon to allow for expansion. After thawing, shake to remix.

** Eggs and cheese also last beyond their “sell-by” dates – information is available online – and they can also be frozen. I store bags of shredded cheese in my freezer and use it in casseroles and soups from the frozen state. I let cheese thaw to use on tacos, etc. There is no difference in taste or texture when thawed. Do not freeze eggs in their shell. Crack them into ice cube trays to freeze.

** Meat is marked down 1-3 days before the “sell-by” date, and should be used right away. I typically prepare markdown meats for dinner that day or the next, I prepare it as a meal starter for use in the future, or I freeze it immediately for later use.

** Produce might be marked down because of bruises, but if you plan to use the produce to bake/cook with or to use in smoothies, a few bruises won’t matter. Sometimes produce is marked down because the store has abundance. During the summer, I bought bags and bags of firm, fresh tomatoes for $0.69 per bag. I cut each tomato in to 6 pieces, spaced them apart on a baking sheet and froze the pieces. Once frozen, I gathered the pieces together into a freezer Ziploc bag to store. I just pull out individual pieces to drop into soups and stews. I’ve done the same with other veggies and fruits.

** Some stores also offer markdowns on processed foods. Just look for a clearance section. A friend I took shopping bought full-sized boxes of name brand cereal for $0.52 each (dented boxes). I bought triple packs of Gerber baby puffs for $2.00 – three for less than the price of one (package change).

(6) Consider shopping at discount/markdown stores like Big Lots, Dollar Tree or the 99 cents store. Exceptional savings can be had on all manners of grocery or household products. With regard to food products, all items are “in date” – often the packaging has changed (seasonal, etc.) and the product can no longer be sold in regular stores.

(7) Be open-minded and don’t limit yourself to familiar stores. I visited a large Asian food market while hunting for a particular ingredient and found incredible deals on fresh produce, bulk items, meats and seafood. I live in a smaller town 20 minutes west of FM/HV and find that my little local IGA often beats the prices of the big name brand store down the road. Meat markdown prices at that store are unbelievable.

(8) For more extreme savings, consider shopping at “banana box” stores. These are “scratch and dent” wholesalers who buy food and home goods by the crate or truckload. Many things are neither scratched nor dented. Because these items come to the wholesaler in large box lots, be responsible about checking dates for freshness. Most items are in perfect condition and can be purchased at an incredible savings.

photo credit: thebsreport

* I can't find a printed quote from Dave Ramsey about the couponing rich -- I just heard him say that on a radio show one day.

Biblical Infertility and About Moving On

2011-01-13T23:54:00.007-06:00

James and I have been working diligently on our Bible in 90 Days reading program. It really is so awesome to discuss obscure Biblical facts with my husband, and to wonder aloud together about all kinds of things that happened way back when. I love reading verses about how people straight wore the Lord out, and how He calls them stiff-necked because of their grumbling and wants to eliminate them from the Earth (but then He doesn't because He's moved with compassion and is faithful to honor His promises).

A couple of interesting things I've noted throughout the earliest portion of the Old Testament is the frequency of infertility, as well as the regular mention of barrenness and miscarriage. Honestly, it's quite astonishing to me how much barrenness is addressed in the Old Testament. I knew of the famous infertile -- Sarah, Hannah, Rachel -- but even passing passages talk about those wombs being closed, these other wombs being newly opened, and so on. I know that we're fearfully and wonderfully made being knit together in our mother's womb by the Lord, so I totally know He controls all that there is to control when it comes to the perpetuation of the human race. It just surprises me that the issue of fertility (or the lack thereof) is something so regarded by God that it's mentioned time and again.

Something else I noticed was a lineage of infertility. God made a promise to Abraham to make him a great nation, saying that his infertile wife Sarah (who'd already gone through menopause) would bear him a son through which a family would grow, outnumbered only by the stars in the sky. Sure enough, God did what He promised and Sarah conceived and bore Issac. When Isaac was forty, he married Rebekah who was also barren. Isaac prayed for Rebekah for TWENTY YEARS, and she bore Jacob and Esau when Isaac was sixty years old (Gen. 25:21, 26). Jacob loved and married Rachel, who was also infertile (Gen. 30:1) and it wasn't until Jacob had many children by his other wife Leah and their servants that "God remembered Rachel and... opened her womb" (v. 22). God promised a great nation, but even the formation of the population of the great nation came out of great struggle.

I know these scriptures have been there all along -- I guess they just stand out to me now because of my personal history with infertility and miscarriage. Because we feel presently pressed to pursue a new family member, they just jump off the page. In light of my own infertility and history of miscarriage, we're sticking our toes in the water with regards to adoption. We have a conference conference call tomorrow with an adoption firm in California, and bleh -- I feel totally nervous. We're not committing to this firm just yet, but there's a possibility we will. We're still praying.

As I mentioned before, we've already looked at a number of options, we've made some calls, we've corresponded. So far, process of elimination has worked this time. I wish we had more clear direction about which way to move, but so far, we try a door and either shut it again or have it shut for us. I'm ~~a little~~ a lot jealous of the very specific directions the God of the Old Testament was known for doling out. It was like a flow chart of if/then statements -- it was unreal. What I wouldn't get for a little of that! Instead, we're operating by checking the peace gauge, hoping for God's peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7). If we have peace, move forward. If our hearts are troubled, step away.

We had such peace about moving forward with those twins that we began to invest our joy -- which is, I think, what frustrates me the most about that whole deal falling apart. Every update was exciting, and when we got the call that delivery was eminent, I could hardly contain myself what with the thrill and the nerves. I still cannot for one minute blame the birthmom for choosing to keep her babies -- being on the relinquishment side is unfathomable to me -- but to have made the choice to trust, to admit my physical failings, and to have asked for her consideration, only to be denied, is painful. To know now that, even with only one baby home, the reality of parenthood is already overwhelming her to the point of regret -- that's heart wrenching. I'm sad for her that she's hanging on to a decision she's unhappy with. I'm sad that those beautiful babies seem to be burdens and not blessings. Selfishly, I'm sad that I put my heart out there, that I cracked open its hard shell just a bit and became vulnerable -- I'm not a fan of the residual ache.

Even with this loss, we're excited about adoption. For a second, I thought about putting on the brakes, but we both really have peace about moving forward -- at least, for now. From what we've heard, many successful adoptive matches come through relationships already in place, meaning this friend knows that person whose teenage daughter is approaching delivery, and they trust us because you trust us. I mention that because I'd love it if our friends and family would keep us in mind if an opportunity were mentioned. We're impartial to sex, and we're not necessarily partial to race. It would be amazing if we were matched with baby who had some measure of Filipino ancestry, but other than that, we're totally open.

A new adoption option was presented to us when a friend mentioned the firm they used to adopt their son, one that specializes in the kind of adoption we're hoping for -- domestic newborn adoption. I perused their website, read some reviews, requested an information packet, and had one short phone call with someone at the firm. We have a conference call scheduled for tomorrow, but even that is really just for gathering more information, and I imagine they'll be interviewing us as much as we're interviewing them. We'll see how it goes.

In the meantime, we'd love it if you'd pray both with and for us. As for how you can pray specifically, we need DIRECTION. We don't necessarily have to do something that makes sense to everyone, we just need to know the right path for us. We want to be good stewards of our time, our money, and our hearts. Selfishly, I'd rather not have another adoption loss. I'd personally rather never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER match with a birth mom than match with someone again and have them change their mind. Even that, though, is a risk we're willing to take.

photo credit: fibroid.com

Wintry Mix

2011-01-09T17:06:00.015-06:00

Texas was showered with snow today. What a beautiful winter treat! The kids loved gazing at it from the warmth of the house and discussing whether or not school would be canceled on Monday. (The snow's melting, so I doubt it...) They went outside in it for a while, but spend more time putting on and taking off their warm winter gear than they did actually playing in the precipitation.

Brystol was most interested in being outside. She was going out no matter what.

Escape Attempt #1

Escape Attempt #2

Escape Attempt #3

When the snow began to come down heavily, James had the forethought to send a kid out to catch it. Bub put a big bowl outside, and when everyone came in from the cold, I put together some some ice cream using Paula Deen's recipe. The sweetened condensed milk made it creamy and delicious!

Snow Ice Cream
recipe courtesy of Paula Deen

Ingredients

8 cups snow or shaved ice
1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions

Place snow or shaved ice into a large bowl.
Pour condensed milk over and add vanilla.
Mix to combine. Serve immediately in bowls.

Happy Snow Day!

Wherein My Kid Planned an Impromptu Party, Unbeknownst to Me

2011-01-08T01:16:00.002-06:00

When Bub came home from school yesterday, he excitedly told me about a party scheduled for later in the afternoon. It was going to be great and all of the kids from his class were going to be there. When I asked to see the invitation, he said it wasn't that kind of party. It wasn't a birthday party -- just a regular shindig -- and oh yeah, he was the party host. What?

We had a long talk about how, when you're a kid, parties should be planned and your mom should be involved in the planning -- a fête on the fly is not a good idea. I sent him upstairs to play with a neighborhood friend and really didn't expect anyone to actually show. Moments later, though, the doorbell rang and a little boy was at the door ready to celebrate.

As all the kids played together, I quickly set up a folding table in the yard and topped it with starry curtain panels pulled from my fabric stash. I used a silver balloon weight with star details for a simple centerpiece. I pulled some red paper plates and cups from the stash of discount party supplies I gather through the year and store in my hobby room. Then, I put together some trays of simple snacks -- pretzel snaps, natural cheese puffs, Teddy Grahams, gingerbread marshmallows, and slices of organic apples. The kids drank lemony tea poured from an unattractive pitcher (one that I wouldn't miss if it ended up being destroyed). Gracie streamed some tunes through the iPod touch she got from HaHa and Uncle Gunk (Jerald) for Christmas.

In the end, only one invited classmate came to the impromptu party (all the other parents knew better -- whew!), but Bub and Gracie enjoyed living it up with him and a few pals from the street.

Frugal Friday: Money Saving Tips and Linkage

2011-01-07T00:49:00.001-06:00

Frugal Friday posts contain personal money-saving tips
and/or are collections of news articles or blog posts related to finances or frugality.

"He who fails to plan, plans to fail." This old Proverb could be applied to so much, but these are words that often come to mind when I consider the principles of frugality. Many spendthrifts hold fast to the principle of planning ahead: stockpiling the pantry, storing the next size of clothing for children, etc.

One small thing I do that saves loads of money when compared to my contemporaries is plan ahead for birthday parties. We love having parties for our kids, and because of some forethought, they never cost us very much. I frequently find themed party supplies on sale or clearance throughout the year. I supplement theme-specific items with products I already have or things picked up last minute from Dollar Tree or another bargain outlet.

The goody bag is a party expense that can add up very quickly if not planned for. My kiddos love to take home favors from parties, so we make sure they send favors home with their own party guests. After-holiday sales are GREAT for finding and stocking up on party favors (or stocking stuffers, teacher's gifts, tiny "thinking of you" gifts, etc). In preparation for Gracie's birthday in May, I've gathered girly things (that aren't really season specific) from the post-Christmas clearance bins -- bath soaps, little pens, blingy rings and card games. When the actual day approaches, I'll pick up an inexpensive sweet treat to include and tuck all of the goodies inside of homemade bags or brand new generic-looking ones I gather at yard sales and thrift stores year round.

Coming Soon: Babbit the Big City Rabbit

2011-01-05T13:31:00.008-06:00

For Christmas, James gave me a girls-only four-day trip to New York City to share with my friend Marcie, and Babbit has opted to tag along. We head out very early on March 31st and return late on April 3rd. We're all so excited to visit the big city -- none of us have ever been. I've been researching our touristy options, and while we each have access to reasonable travel budgets, Marcie and I are both super thrifty and would love to prove that a trip to NYC doesn't have to break the bank. (Secretly, I think if I can prove that to the hubs, he'll let me go back again really soon.)

I have some things in mind that I would like to do and have been looking for the most cost-effective way to do them. We've considered purchasing the City Pass, but I've learned about Free and Pay What You Wish options for museums and think that may be the better way to go. To fully embrace my personal challenge of NYC on a dime, I've downloaded the NYC Department of Cultural Affairs guide that lists loads of inexpensive cultural offerings. I've set up a separate travel e-mail account to subscribe to Groupon and Living Social for NYC deals, and I plan to watch for the 90% off sale at Restaurant.com. Also, the Entertainment book for NYC is only $20 shipped. We save so much in DFW with our Entertainment Book, I can't imagine the savings in NYC would be any less remarkable. I've only just begun building a list of must-see things with prices posted. Here's what I have so far:

Free/Cheap Places to Go in New York City

Brooklyn Bridge – FREE
Brooklyn Heights Historic District – FREE
New York Public Library – FREE
9/11 Memorial Preview Site – FREE
Central Park – FREE
Metropolitan Museum of Art – FREE, BoA "Museums on Us"
Guggenheim Museum – Pay What You Wish on Saturday
Museum of Modern Art – FREE on Target Free Friday nights
Museum of the City of New York – FREE, BoA "Museums on Us"
Statue of Liberty – FREE ferry tour, $12.00 for crown tour
Opera at the Met – $20/$25 last minute tickets at Box Office
Theatre – FREE, or inexpensive last minute tickets at Box Office
New York Philharmonic – Student Rush Tickets, $12.50 each
Chinatown – FREE to explore, $$ for shopping on Canal Street

Cheap Places to Eat in New York City

Papaya King Hot Dog Stands – Chelsea (Under $5)
Dumpling House – Chinatown (Under $5)
Café Edison – Times Square in Edison Hotel (Under $10)
** We're excited to try inexpensive little hole-in-the-wall places, preferably ethnic ones **

Despite my planning and bargain hunting, this is a daunting task and I would really appreciate some insider tips from those of you who have been there/done that. Favorite restaurants? Best way to buy show tickets? Number one way to save on souvenirs? Your insight is invaluable to me.

photo credit: howard models

Resolved 2011: The Potty, the Paces and the Plan for Family Growth

2011-01-03T03:11:00.017-06:00

Just like everyone else, I have a number of resolutions for the new year. Some things, like diet and weight loss, aren't even worth discussing. They just roll from year to year, as they do for most adults over the age of 24. Some things, though, are specific to 2011 and bear mentioning here.

Resolution #1: Finish up the Franken-bachelor's. This process is already in progress. I'll graduate from Texas Woman's University this summer with a B.G.S. in English and Sociology. I'll commence in May and finish my final credits in August. After that, who knows? Very likely, a break from school during which I will nap and craft. Then again, maybe not -- I can't stay too still for very long.

Resolution #2: In 2011, I resolve to potty train my youngest child. She's already shown some interest in the potty, but my hope is to have her totally out of diapers by her second birthday in July.

Resolution #3: I resolve to read the Bible in its entirely in 2011. Actually, I resolve to read it within the first 90 days of 2011. I'm taking part in the challenge on the Mom's Toolbox blog. I'm in an accountability group and everything! The study began today with the first 16 chapters of Genesis. It works out to be about 45 minutes to an hour of reading everyday, but that's doable. This is actually something I'm very excited about, and I'm especially excited that James is reading along with me (though he's not in an official group). Maybe we'll read through two times in 2011 -- who knows?

Resolution #4: This is the resolution I hate to share because it will take lots of work, commitment and determination to accomplish, but I resolve to run (not walk) my first 5K in 2011. I'm planning to do the Cool Runnings Couch to 5K program which takes just a few weeks to get even the laziest couch potato race-ready, and while I'd like to be ready for a race before the killer heat of the Texas summer, as long as I run one by December, I'm good. (There's actually a race being held in June that I'd love to run, so I'm really hoping to be ready by then -- fingers crossed and laces tied!)

As if going from the couch to a 5K weren't intimidating enough, I have this whole issue with not feeling my feet that makes me feel very afraid -- afraid of wounding myself again, afraid of another season on crutches -- but I have great footwear and I'm especially good now about looking for potential pressure points. I'm determined not to let this fear be something that keeps me from pressing on towards the goal. The fear is something else to lay down and let go of, I suppose.

Resolution #5: We're planning, once again, to grow our family through adoption. We've been researching this new venture for a while, deciding which path to take this time. We've been in contact with state agencies both in Texas and Oklahoma, we've researched international adoption from the Philippines and other countries, and we've spoken to adoption brokers, advocates, and private attorneys. For now, we've hired a social worker and have begun gathering documents and completing state and federal background checks as part of our official adoption homestudy. We have a some friends lined up as references and have only to complete our official interview.

After all the research and as we began working with the social worker, an opportunity came to us to adopt newborn twins -- a boy and a girl. They were due at the end of January, so we expected to have some time to prepare, but in the case of a premature delivery, the attorney we've been working with told us they could expedite our homestudy process since the adoption arrangement would be private and not agency-based. We got the call on December 30th (while we were in Oklahoma for the new year) that the birthmother was going in for an emergency c-section. She had advancing pre-eclampsia and was very sick. We didn't know what to do! We passed along the message that we were ready to come, but would need driving time. The c-section happened hours later than originally planned, and thankfully, the twins were born healthy and at remarkably good weights. Sadly, we got word the next morning that the birthmother decided to parent because she thought the sometimes-present boyfriend would make a great dad. Days later, we've heard that she's made despondent comments about her life being over. She's very unhappy and the boyfriend is no where to be found. We've again sent word that we're available to meet to discuss adoption options, but really, this is all entirely out of our hands. In our minds and hearts, the door is closed.

On the one hand, I deeply respect her decision to parent. I personally could not make the decision to relinquish my children for even one minute. On the other hand, I'm not super young and unhappy about the prospect of parenthood. I wish she could see all that we could be and do for them. Those babies would be a dream come true for our family, and it makes me so sad to know that they're a burden to her. It breaks my heart, really. All along, though, as we've discussed and prayed about this specific opportunity for adoption, we've prayed for God's perfect will to be done. That is still our prayer. We're trusting her decision to parent is His plan, and in that, He has a better plan to satisfy the longing that remains in our hearts. We were sure hopeful, though, that a little set of sweet baby twins was part of His plan to redeem the years of heartache and loss.

At this point, we have no specific direction for adoption. Neither of us feel comfortable connecting with an agency -- at least, not yet. We're still working on the normally-paced homestudy and hope to have it completed by the end of January. I'm hopeful we'll know how to move forward at that time, and I'm hopeful 2011 will prove to be a year of growth and blessing in the family way.

photo credit:ssu-usa.edu, allwomenstalk

Happy New Year -- Welcome 2011!

2011-01-01T02:51:00.011-06:00

We rang in the new year in Oklahoma with our friends Marcie and Tobey. We spent a couple of days together watching movies, shopping after-Christmas sales, playing dominoes, and just hanging out, laughing over decades-old jokes. For New Year's Eve proper, Marcie hosted a small gathering of friends from church and served up all the delicious fare she's known for (while I contributed to the spread with the store-bought fare I'm known for. Plus some cake balls. I did make cake balls... and peppermint bark... and the cheeseball Marcie made was my recipe. Hey, maybe I'm not such a culinary loser after all!) Some board games were played while everyone was around, but I had to steal away to quiet an over-tired baby. When I returned, the other couples -- also with over-tired young children -- had to leave. At the end of the night, we four friends watched the ball drop and welcomed the new year with our children. The kids were sent to bed, another couple of adults dropped in, and the game playing resumed. In all, we had a great time. I can't think of a better way to ring in a new year or a better family to share it with.

Happy New Year!

photo credit: 111newsviews

Christmas 2010: Catching up with the Siblings

2010-12-29T23:40:00.004-06:00

Between Christmas and the New Year, we traveled to Oklahoma for a family dinner and game night. My brother Russell came from Missouri with my niece Kate and her boyfriend Jeremiah. Christy and James, my sister and brother-in-law, hosted us. Their children Chelsea and Ethan were also there. It was great to see everyone and to enjoy a casual evening together after the craziness of the holidays. We caught up over a lasagna and a couple of pizzas, then we all crowded around the table to play Farkle and Taboo (except for Bub who watched movies and took over the Wii).

The Camouflage Cowboy Spy is my Bwahs

2010-12-28T21:15:00.007-06:00

If I had my way, my kids would stay little forever, or at the very least, for a good while longer. Time is flying way too fast around here, which is why I was so pleased to see a camouflaged cowboy spy come barreling down the stairs as stealthily as a very loud little boy could. Following closely behind was a bouffant-haired blondie with a New Jersey accent. "This cowboy spy is my bwahs," she said.

"Think left and think right and think low and think high.
Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!"
~Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Thinks You Can Think!

"Truly wonderful the mind of a child is."
~Yoda, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Christmas 2010: Spies and Dolls and a Great Big Trip

2010-12-25T23:07:00.009-06:00

On Christmas morning, James woke me up, his face in mine, whispering, "Wake up! It's Christmas!!" He'd been up for a while, anxiously awaiting the gift exchange. Though he'd never admit it, he's the biggest kid of us all! My mom must have heard us and she drowsily began dragging herself around upstairs. We had time for a cup of coffee in front of the beautiful fire James built before waking the kids. Yes -- we had to WAKE the kids. All of them. Even the baby.

I love our new Pottery Barn stockings! I generally just ogle the PB catalog and look for some cheap knock-off, but early in the season PB offered free shipping and free monogramming through their Facebook page. I could not pass on that good deal! I was concerned the little elfin stockings I chose for the kids would be too small for all their goodies, but they're the perfect size and adorable.

Brystol had a Yo Gabba Gabba Christmas. Usually Yo Gabba Gabba stuff is impossible to find, but I hunted around online and not only found some fun Gab n' Sing plush characters, I also found them on clearance for $8.50 each (reduced cost after online coupon, plus free shipping!) through Bealls Florida. The Muno character was not only not available through the same site, he's apparently a collector's item and available for $100 or more through collector sites -- yikes! I thought I'd try my hand at sewing together a simple Muno plush, but all the red minky was sold out at the craft store.

I did put my sewing skills to use, though, and I made Brystol a DJ Lance Rock doll. While hunting for toys to purchase, I discovered the Gabba Friends fan site, and featured there was the idea for creating a DJ Lance doll at home. I did as the original creator did and ordered an Urkel doll on eBay. I ordered the smaller, non-talking doll. Not only was it cheaper, but there's no chance it will spit out an Urkelism -- I like that better. I found some free doll clothes patterns online -- one for a turtleneck shirt and one for pants. I picked up about $2 worth of fabric and felt, then combined the patterns to make the super cool orange jump suit, making modifications for fit and style. The most significant change I made was using felt instead of fur for the hat. Brystol is still small enough for things to frequently make their way into her mouth, so for now, felt is a better option.

Brystol also got her first Asian baby doll -- the little almond-eyed Bitty Baby from American Girl. Gracie got an Asian doll when she was just a bit older than Brystol and it's still a favorite.

Gracie also got a new doll this Christmas -- a Just Like Me American Girl doll with brown hair, green eyes, earrings and braces. Gracie already had Chrissa, the 2009 Doll of the Year, but she really wanted a doll to resemble her more closely. I'm so pleased we bought her one this year -- she is really enjoying it. Also, I think this might be the last year she asks for baby dolls, a thought that makes me oh-so-sad. Gracie was also happy to get a new robe and slippers and a portable DVD player -- perfect for watching movies while at home or on super-long road trips with Mom.

I had a lot of fun pulling Bub's gift together. Though he's way too cool to admit it to the general public, he still loves imaginative play, so for his big (what would be a Santa) gift, I created a spy kit. I had a hard-sided case onto which I decoupaged the words "TOP SECRET." Inside, I tucked a video watch, a snake camera, rear-view spy shades, a magnifying glass, notebooks for field notes, a small flashlight, handcuffs, a machine gun, tiny tools, several badges, fake mustaches for disguises, disposable gloves, a brush for collecting fingerprints, a itty-bitty microscope for catching even the tiniest clue, and a Top Secret spy manual full of secret codes, recipes for invisible ink, etc. He loved it as much as I hoped he would and has been playing with it nearly nonstop.

He also added to the Tomica train universe that has taken over our game room, a pillowcase like his favorite candy, and substantial collection of Goosebumps books I picked up secondhand.

James got boring grown-up gifts that he both wanted and needed: new shirts for work, books, cologne, cold weather wear for his work up north. New video games made up for the boring.

We gave my mom lots of fun stuff. We gave her a new digital camera since she lost hers in a recent flood, but my favorite gift to her was this fun shirt. Mom works for the Home Depot -- perfect!

Without a doubt, though, this was MY Christmas. Christmas is usually okay for me, but James really, REALLY outdid himself this year. For who knows how long, he'd been conspiring with my BFF Marcie to plan a GIRLS-ONLY FOUR-DAY TRIP TO NEW YORK CITY. I had no idea. James kept saying things like, "I think you're going to like your gift," and he and the kids wrapped packages to be opened in a certain order. Gifts from the kids had a travel theme, but we do travel, so that didn't clue me in. Then I opened James' first gift to me -- a bag with a big apple inside. (Is that a clue that it's time to diet again? Have I said yes to one too many Christmas cookies?) The second gift was full of pictures -- one of a cityscape, one of what I thought was a planet, and one of some body of water. (Actually, I now know that the "city" was a picture of the Waldorf Astoria where we'll be staying, the "planet" was Mars, and the "body of water" was the sea. Mars + sea = Marcie, my dearest friend and travel companion. Very clever.) Here I am, crying like a blubbering idiot after James tells me what all the clues mean (because I totally couldn't figure them out on my own).

This gift is awesome because not only is it a GIRLS-ONLY FOUR-DAY TRIP TO NEW YORK CITY, but it also represents so much sacrifice. James travels a great deal for his job, and he really works the system for airline miles and hotel rewards and points. He spends so much time away from our family that we do not waste those miles and points -- they're reserved for family time together. For James to use some of those points to fly my friend from Oklahoma to Texas, and then to fly us both to NYC and home again means so much, then to use his hotel rewards to book a room for us at the Waldorf Astoria -- an 8-star hotel in a class of it's own -- is sacrifice. Moreover, for James to take off work during his busiest time of the month to stay home alone with three kids -- I cannot even describe to you what sort of sacrifice that represents. His generosity has blessed me deeply, and while I am super, SUPER excited about my GIRLS-ONLY FOUR-DAY TRIP TO NEW YORK CITY, I'm more excited about the love James showed through this selfless gift. I am a truly blessed woman!

Merry Christmas from Our Family to Yours!

We Wish You a Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T00:06:00.005-06:00

Today, my family celebrates the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We wish your family peace and joy both today and throughout the holiday season...

"In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!

When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us. And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them."

Luke 2:1-20 ESV

photo credit: Evans & Sutherland

'Twas the Night Before Christmas: Christmas Eve 2010

2010-12-24T23:56:00.006-06:00

Christmas Eve 2010

S'mores Bites: Wherein I May or May Not Have Invented Deliciousness

2010-12-24T23:00:00.011-06:00

As we prepared Christmas sweets this year, we had a special little helper in the kitchen, although I think more chocolate made its way into her mouth than onto our candies. I love these little pretzel kisses. They're so good and so easy, and one of my all-time favorite treats!

Speaking of treats, this year, I invented a new little sweet for our family. (Mind you, I use that term loosely because I'm certain someone far more inventive than I has suggested this snack in the past.) We love s'mores and have spent many winter evenings roasting marshmallows in our fireplace. Brystol's gotten bigger and so far she's been very good around the fire -- she hardly even notices if one is burning, and she's never made a move to get close to one. Because we want to neither draw her attention to the fireplace nor make her think it's okay to put things into the fire, this winter we've only made s'mores with the big kids while the baby slumbers. We've all been missing the taste, so I went on the hunt for ingredients to make s'mores bites.

I wanted to use graham cracker sticks, but I looked at a three different stores and couldn't find them anywhere. I substituted Teddy Grahams for this first batch -- not the best option, but a decent alternative. I placed Hershey's kisses on each cluster of two and warmed them in the oven (at 250) just until they were slightly melty to the touch (maybe 5 minutes). While the kisses were warm and gooey, I pressed a mini masrhmallow into each one, then I put them in the refrigerator so the chocolate would cool and set. Delicious!

Yo Gabba Gabba DJ Lance Doll for Baby

2010-12-23T23:59:00.003-06:00

Brystol loves Yo Gabba Gabba and will be getting a few of the Gab n' Sing characters for Christmas this year. I'd been looking for a DJ Lance Rock doll to go with her plushies, but no one makes a reasonable looking DJ Lance doll. While searching, I ran across the Gabba Friends website where someone posted their version and knew I had to try my hand at something similar.

I hunted for an Urkel doll on eBay. There were two versions available for purchase: a large talking doll and a small non-taking doll primarily comprised of fabric. I went with the smaller non-talking doll because it's essentially just a plush doll with a plastic head and hands, and that's better for the little girl who'll be getting it. (She tends to hit people when wielding large plastic objects.) As a bonus, the non-talking doll was cheaper, and I'm a big fan of cheap (although, free is my favorite).

After I scored the doll, I researched free patterns for custom clothes and combined a couple to fashion Lance Rock's orange jumpsuit. I made some adjustments to the original patterns, but I had a basic outline for the turtleneck and for the pants. I then used felt and free handed the trim details and belt. I also used felt to make some orange sneakers and the big hat. I used felt for the hat instead of a furry material because one-year-old Brystol and furry material don't mix. Maybe someday DJ Lance will get an upgrade, but for now the felt hat works.

My Mini DJ Lance Costume

DJ Lance Rock from Yo Gabba Gabba

Christmas in Aggieland

2010-12-19T23:18:00.010-06:00

When Bub was one and I was pregnant with Gracie, we traveled from our home in Oklahoma to East Texas to spend Christmas with my father-in-law and James' grandmother. Our whole car was so full of baby paraphernalia there was barely room for the gifts we were bearing. It was on that long trip in that very crowded car that we decided we'd stay home on Christmas until our kids flew the coop. The decision made sense, really. James has one brother who, until this year, was single and had a very flexible schedule. James' dad and grandmother were the only other two in his family we ever spent a holiday with. They were both teachers until retirement, so because of the school holiday, they had the flexibility needed to travel as well. We had the kids and James has always worked in industries that require him to work through Christmas Eve. Staying home and creating Christmas for our kids was so much better, and if family members wanted to celebrate Christmas with us, they were welcome.

This year, though, James' brother Jerald got married and his wife, Hayley, has long spent her years dividing the holidays between one parent in Tennessee and the other in Georgia. They flew to Georgia for Thanksgiving and were driving to Tennessee for Christmas, and because of the way the holiday falls, they were going to have to drive straight back to College Station after the holiday to prepare for the post-Christmas reopening of Jerald's restaurant. They wouldn't have the chance to see us until the next weekend or later. Because Christmas is OVER for me on December 26th, we opted to head down to B/CS in advance of Christmas to share a meal and exchange gifts.

It was nice to get away from home this weekend and to escape the holiday hustle and bustle, even if only for the night, and we love spending time with Jerald and Hayley, so that was a bonus. And the kids -- they were SUPER excited to open presents early. They never get to do that!

Littles in Front of the Loot

What Could It Be?

Taking a Peek

No Need to Finish Unwrapping -- Wheeeee!

The Ripping and the Shredding

My father-in-law joined us for our pre-Christmas celebration in College Station, so while our regular family holiday will still happen at home on December 25th, this year it will just be us and my mom around the tree. Because Jerald and Hayley still need to figure out what works for their little family with regards to future holidays, I don't know what Christmas will look like next year, but the arrangements for this year mean a lot less work for me. I think we'll open presents, share a breakfast casserole and watch movies and/or nap all afternoon -- that's a Merry Christmas!

Charlie Brown in ICE! at the Gaylord Texan

2010-12-16T23:13:00.011-06:00

Because a friend shared a great deal and we got BOGO event tickets, we went to the Gaylord Texan to see ICE! for the first time ever. Before ever arriving at the exhibit, though, we enjoyed the lights and holiday displays in the hotel. The Gaylord is already a gorgeous venue, but at Christmastime, it's unbelievable. Everything is lit and decorated and no detail is overlooked.

We explored the lobby briefly, then made our way to the main attraction. ICE! is an unbelievable 14,000-square-foot exhibit that features a variety of holiday scenes and sculptures hand-carved by 40 visiting artisans from Harbin, China. The display is comprised of two million pounds of ice and is kept at a wintry nine -- yes, nine -- degrees. This year the Gaylord Texan and ICE! recreated Charlie Brown and the Whole Peanuts Gang from a Charlie Brown Christmas.

Bundled in the Mandatory Blue Parkas

The ICE! Exhibit

Kids Enjoying the Ice Slide

Our Message to You
(Note: please ignore the random lip-licker. James took the photo.)

ICE! was truly a spectacular experience. Here is a little PR video from
the Gaylord in Tennessee, but the concept and process are the same.

Holiday Fun at the Ho-Ho-Hoedown

2010-12-14T15:47:00.000-06:00

The neighborhood school had a "Ho-Ho-Hoedown" open house to celebrate the holidays. Gracie's choir caroled through the halls while I took Bub and Brystol around to participate in some of the activities. We decorated cookies, visited the holiday shop and used pennies to vote for our favorite trees decorated like The Homeless Christmas Tree in the book by Leslie Gordon. Not surprisingly, our pennies went into the buckets for trees decorated by my kids and their classmates. The "votes" will be contributed to the homeless shelter to provide holiday meals for the poor.

Winter Choir Concert -- December 2010

2010-12-07T23:46:00.001-06:00

Gracie joined the choir at the neighborhood school and just had her first concert. They sang several wintry songs and a couple of spirituals. They also collected blankets for residents of a nearby rehab home that they plan to visit as part of a community service project. Though this was her first performance with a singing group, Gracie wasn't the least bit nervous. She had a blast, she remembered all the words and moves, and she did a GREAT job. She's a natural!

All dressed and ready!

Lining up...

Singing holiday songs

Showing off the collected gifts

Peek-a-Boo!

Posing with her BFF, Sarah

Brystol and the Big Elf

2010-12-07T23:00:00.003-06:00

Our family doesn't celebrate Santa at Christmastime. Though we don't "do Santa," we do have a picture of the big kids with him when they were small. We took it while we were still figuring out which holiday traditions were important to our family and when we allowed other voices to tell us that not "doing Santa" would screw our kids up for life. Note: it hasn't.

Our kids are great and they love Christmas in spite of Santa never visiting our home. They get plenty of gifts and they know that we exchange gifts as we remember the gift of Jesus. You can follow the link above to read more about how and why we do Christmas the way we do. The point here is that the big kids had a picture with Santa and Brystol had to have one too, so we headed on down to Santa's Wonderland at our local Bass Pro Shops to have her picture taken for free. The kids enjoyed all the free games, activities and carousel rides while waiting, and I enjoyed all the free.

When the time came for Brystol to meet the Big Elf, she was not a happy girl. Looks like she too will be okay with the big guy not popping by.

Parents as Teachers Playgroup

2010-09-10T12:37:00.007-05:00

Brystol participated in her first Parents as Teachers playgroup today. Parents as Teachers is a national organization that promotes early childhood intervention and education. It's a free program typically offered through the special services division of the public school district. We found out about P.A.T. when we lived in Oklahoma, and with Bub and Gracie, we took advantage of both the home visits and the playgroup.

During the home visits, a developmental specialist comes to the house to teach and encourage age-appropriate developmental play. The home visit typically is very fun and very casual, but while the child is playing the newly introduced game or activity, the specialist can assess the child to see where they are developmentally, and to ensure they stay on track. If delays are noted over the months or years the specialist is working with your family, he or she can recommend services through the school district or through a child's pediatrician. The parent is also given a list of what things should have occurred or will be occurring developmentally during that child's stage of life. The parent can continue to encourage the developmental process and can report any delays noted over time. It's a partnership really, a very non-invasive process, and one we benefited greatly from in the past. As far as home visits for Brystol, we're on a waiting list. They're not necessary since Brystol is developing normally, but it's nice to have the one-on-one time with an expert and Brystol will enjoy the games and attention.

The playgroup is just that -- a playgroup -- only the P.A.T. playgroup also includes projects or activities to encourage development: arts and crafts to encourage fine motor skills, free playtime to encourage the imagination or social skills, songs and stories during circle time to encourage following directions by sitting and listening, rhythm and music skills, physical activity. The playgroup time is informal, but the developmental specialists are around to assist and educate. For example, at playgroup today, Brystol spent a good bit of time toddling around carrying a doll nearly as big as she is. The specialist spoke to Brystol a few times, commenting on her baby, but then shared with me about Brystol's action being a developmental milestone. She said that early walkers like Brystol begin carrying around very large items -- often large toys or laundry baskets -- and that helps develop their sense of balance. Very interesting!

Painting with Cars

Playtime

Making Faces
(my favorite picture of the day!)

Itty Bitty Art: Scribbles

2010-09-09T14:57:00.009-05:00

After lunch, but before a midday bath, when the floor's been swept, but not yet mopped -- that is the perfect time to do art projects with babies. Today's project: mixed media (washable marker, crayon and pencil) on manila paper. Check out her form -- this girl can manage a marker!

The Process

Ma Petite Artiste

The Final Product

Brace Face

2010-09-08T16:56:00.005-05:00

Gracie began the first phase of her prescribed orthodontic treatment today. She had "light braces" installed on her top permanent teeth. (The doctor will assess her need for phase one brackets on the bottom as teeth continue to fall out and come back in.) She goes back in two weeks to have an expander installed to widen her top jaw. That should correct her crossbite, make room for the rest of her upper permanent teeth, and reduce her need for extensive orthodontic treatment later.

She was super excited to have braces installed. As we pulled up to the office, she began to feel a bit nervous, but the excitement won over the nerves and she had really no problem marching in for installation. I hope the excitement drives her to take extra good care of her braces and not miss gum and sticky candy too much.

From a mommy's perspective, it's surprising how astounding a little metal can age a kid. The fact that she wants matching "braces" for her American Girl doll reminds me she's still my little girl.

Before

After

Brystol's Baby Playgroup

2010-09-08T14:08:00.002-05:00

This time last year there was a baby boom among a group of my friends. This year, some of us met for a baby playgroup with our new little one-year-olds -- Brenner, Jacob, Addison, Tate and Brystol made up this month's group. Brystol is very social, so she had a fantastic time playing and sharing snacks with her little friends, and I enjoyed visiting with all the mommies.

Back to the Books

2010-08-30T14:35:00.005-05:00

With Bub and Gracie back in public school, I thought I'd need more to fill my long days at home with Brystol, so at the end of the summer while James dozed on the couch, I applied to Texas Woman's University on a whim and was accepted. I know I could sew and craft and read for all the hours the big kids are away from home, but I wanted to be more productive while the baby has a semi-regular nap schedule.

I'm taking four online classes: World Literature, Film and Literature, Intro to Sociology, and Deviant Behavior and Social Consequence. I'm pretty excited, but I'm a bit concerned about how I'll manage it all. (I always feel this way at the beginning of a semester, but baby adds to the stress!) I'm looking forward to falling into an orderly routine soon!

photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

Who Doesn't Love a Luau?

2010-05-16T13:28:00.011-05:00

We celebrated Gracie's eighth birthday with a luau party. She invited several classmates to our house, as well as some homeschool friends and some friends from church. Always the hands-on girl, Gracie wanted to do more than fill out her invitations, so she helped me decorate and plan the menu. Together, we baked a flip flop cake and made fruit kebabs. The menu also included a slushy Luau Punch, storebought Hawaiian Punch, "Limbo Sticks" (pretzels), Pirate's Booty, Cheesy Sharks, red rope licorice and Blue Bell Pineapple Vanilla ice cream.

Gracie also had a hand in planning the party games. She wanted to have a hula dance contest, so while at Dollar Tree one day, I picked up a "How To Hula Dance" DVD geared for kids. James thought the video would be way too cheesy, but it actually turned out to be a big hit. All the little girls were so intense and really worked hard to pick up a few moves! Rebecca and Madison tied for the win and each chose a Ty 2.0 from the prize basket we assembled. The only other structured game the kids played was "Hot Flamingo" -- same game as Hot Potato, only with an inflatable flamingo instead of a Russet. In the end, Sara was left holding the flamingo, so Madeline was the big winner.

Besides those activities, all of the girls paired off to play in Gracie's bedroom, with the Barbie house, on our whiteboard in the game room, or to run crazily around my house, pausing for sugar breaks at the snack table. The boys -- who were astonishingly quiet, by the way -- built all varieties of Lego creations in the fortress of male solitude (otherwise known as Bub's room).

The luau party was a budget-friendly way to celebrate Gracie's special day and a super-fun way to kick off the summer. Gracie has such sweet friendships and felt so blessed the whole day long -- a happy birthday for a wonderful girl!

This reminds me: In the midst of all the fall health whatnot, I failed to post when Bub Turned Nine. Sorry, Bub!

Arts and Crafts: DIY Party Favor Bags

2010-05-12T12:02:00.010-05:00

Our Gracie turns eight this weekend. After much consideration, she decided to celebrate with a luau party. We've had fun coming up with a menu and some activities, and I'm working now on some of the pre-party preparation. Today, I'm sewing some party favor bags à la Mich L. (Thanks, Michelle!)

I pulled some fabric scraps from my stash -- a green print that reminds me of some of the textiles we saw while in Hawaii along with some glittery red fabric patterned with hibiscus. The hibiscus fabric came from my Aunt Ruby who cut it into circles for a project that was later abandoned. This was a great way to use up something that would have been otherwise unusable.

I cut the fabric into strips.
I straightened up the rounded edges of the hibiscus print as I cut.

I folded the fabric right sides together, then sewed the strips into tubes.
Next, I divided the strip into thirds.
I just eyeballed this and divided the tubes
by running three zig-zag seams across the width --
one 1/3 down the tube and the other two 2/3 down and about 1/4" apart.

I made the first cut right under the first seam.
I made the second cut between seams two and three.
This left three open ends and made three little bags out of each tube.

I turned the bags right side out, but I didn't hem the open ends.
I just cleaned up the thread ends and rough edges.
These are party favor bags, after all -- likely to be tossed in the trash.

I filled each bag with Good & Plenty and Good & Fruity packets.
I found a giant bag at Tom Thumb on clearance for $2!

Each favor bag also holds a fish whistle, a shiny squawker,
a plastic hibiscus necklace, and a pack of Extra Island Cooler gum.
Each guest will get a lei when they arrive.

I tied them off with a double length of twine from my stash.

The whole project was very easy. I used fabric I otherwise might not have and knocked the whole thing out in less time than it would have taken me to get out of my PJs and drive to the party store.

Go West, Young Babbit: Road Trip 2010 -- It's Official!

2010-05-11T18:56:00.006-05:00

A summer baby in 2009 meant no vacation, which means Babbit the Blue Rabbit is more than ready to hit the road! Gas money has been saved, hotels have been reserved, and landmarks are being mapped -- Road Trip 2010 is official. In precisely six weeks, Babbit will leave Texas for a grand adventure. Twelve states in eighteen days makes for one very happy bunny.

Mother's Day 2010

2010-05-09T06:49:00.004-05:00

To those who've borne children,
to those who wish they had,
to those who've formed families in other ways,
and to those whose children live on in memory alone --

Happy Mother's Day.

Darling Deer

2010-05-07T17:37:00.004-05:00

Through some blog linking, I found Michelle of Mich L. in L.A., a new and really creative craft blogger who has the most inventive ideas. I love how she uses unconventional craft supplies to make really lovely things, like a "schmancy" necklace out of curly paperclips and earrings from chopped-up Easter garland found on clearance.

She recently made some fantastic earrings from a deconstructed Chinois-style fan and offered them in a giveaway. Unfortunately, I was not drawn as a winner. Fortunately, she sent me a pair anyway.

She used curtain tabs to fashion an adorable gift bag:

The deer detail is so lovely, but even more lovely is the fact
that these earrings are made from repurposed material.

They go quite nicely with a necklace I brought home from Mozambique --
a necklace I rarely wear because I didn't have suitable earrings.

Until now...

Thanks for the gift, Michelle -- I adore it!

Cafe Shutters: The Process and a Preview

2010-05-06T16:41:00.011-05:00

On her day off of work, my mom came over
to help me with my shutter modification.

I normally don't need help, but lately, when I do this:

Brystol does this:

As you can see, it's nice to have a spare pair of hands.

So, Mom did a lot of this:

Together, we (three) did this:

And we came up with this:

This is just a preview. We still have to paint out the frame, top the whole thing with trim and install it, but building one box took all afternoon, what with all the math and such. Oh, the math! The next two should be easy (or at least, easier) to throw together -- we just need our schedules to align.

Easier said than done...

A Blind Find

2010-05-04T22:15:00.010-05:00

On any given Monday, this could be my van...

In fact, this was my van on Monday. I'm an avid garage saler/thrift store shopper/Craig's Lister. (I also carry a big stroller and shop at Kroger, as you can plainly see.) In my head (or sometimes on paper), I keep a running list of things I need or want and I buy them when I find them on sale. In most cases, I'd rather leave a space entirely empty and take my time to procure things on the cheap versus paying full retail price.

Today was an extra special day for this cheapo. I've been looking for that right-priced armoire for the TV in our family room since we moved into this house three years ago. I recently found a RED -- no, a Provincial Crimson (yes, that's much nicer) -- Haverty's armoire on Craig's List for $75 -- squeal! It is so cute and matches our decor perfectly.

(Best of all: I don't have to paint it.)
Also, for some time I've been looking for a window treatment solution for the same family room. It connects to our kitchen so the wall of windows between the two rooms really should have treatments that coordinate. I've not really liked anything I've tried so far, but a couple of days after my armoire purchase, I found four brand new valances (just enough!) in the same Provincial Crimson on clearance for $2 each. I hung them, raised the metal builder blinds and enjoyed how the lovely valances framed the light.

(What I didn't enjoy was how they also framed the grill
and the side-lying basketball goal in my backyard --
or the fact that I still haven't broken out the new slipcovers. Sheesh!)

Late that Sunday night when James was out of town and I couldn't sleep, I considered my valance vicissitude and decided I needed cafe shutters. They would let in the light but block out the basketball goal -- perfect! Right away, I began looking on Craig's List, but searching gave way to sleeping which gave way to a play date very early the next day.

In this part of Texas, we have "Bulk Trash Day." Once a month, residents can put certain large items outside of their city trash cans and a picker truck will come by to collect. It must have been bulk trash day in my friend's neighborhood because one street away from my play date, someone had just set out a stack of lovely solid wood shutters on the grass by their can. Some would say, "Ew, gross," but I say, "Providence!" The shutters are in perfect condition and are entirely functional. With the exception of a little dust and grass residue on the shutter stacked on the bottom, they were all quite clean. (Still, they all got a good hosing off before storage in the garage.) While they're not technically cafe shutters, with a little modification, some simple framing and some touch-up paint, they will be. You can't beat free!

Stocking the Craft Stash

2010-05-03T15:26:00.002-05:00

'Tis the season of the neighborhood garage sale and so far this year we've had pretty good luck picking up a few good deals. This week to me was one of my best garage sale weeks ever -- I stumbled upon a craft sale! I thought the homeowner was either making his wife clear out the hobby room or he bought out a closed down craft store, but thinking back, I believe he must have found a Michael's auction or warehouse sale. He wouldn't say, he just kept saying, "I swear it's all legal!" I'm determined to find his source.

In the meantime, I loaded up on a large assortment of brand new craft and scrapbook necessities. The stuff I picked up: Five 12x12 scrap pads, one 8x8 scrap pad, two 12x12 kits, 5 new pair of scissors, new canvas, 3 bottles of Mod Podge, raw birdhouses, large punches (like Whale of a Punch), small punches, long punches, laminating pouches, card making supplies, adhesive runners, scrapbook dots, tacky glue, tool sets, unopened retail sticker packs [meaning sheets and sheets], and lots and lots of adhesive -- jewelry glue, flip flop adhesive (to glue stuff to flip flops), Gorilla Glue, etc. The guy's prices were unbelievably low, but I still racked up a $47.50 bill. Expecting to negotiate, I offered $35 and he said, "Sounds good to me!" Wowee!! If you've ever walked into a craft store without a coupon, you'd know this is a smoking hot deal.

Other fun stuff from today's garage sales: freestanding folding table (to alter) $3, three baskets $0.50, hardside mini suitcase (to Mod Podge) $1, NIP pink pashmina FREE, black cloche base $1, greenery FREE, shelf organizers $1, divided crate $1, black easel $0.25.

A Pretty War Protest

2010-04-30T12:10:00.004-05:00

Gracie used her sparkly blue ballpoint pen
and made me an anti-war protest sign...

... so I used a bright blue upcycled t-shirt
and made her an anti-war protest dress.

See? Those are little "chill pills" dropping on the Middle East.

Controversial? Probably.
Cute? For sure.

This was my first attempt at stitching knits. I used a modified Sienna pattern from Little Blue Boo. I had to increase the overall size of the pattern since Ashley's sizes run from 6 months to 6 years and my seven-year-old is in the body of someone aged ten to eleven. I also modified the neck line of this particular dress and made a braided tank instead of a dress with sleeves. A fun and simple project and a nice surprise for Gracie, but for my next trick I need a jersey needle and a free-form foot for my machine. Time for a run to the fabric store!

On Puffs, Black Beans and a Self-Feeding Baby

2010-04-29T10:14:00.006-05:00

Brystol is a big fan of self-feeding. She's quite the independent little lady, and while she'll still let me feed her most things, she's really enjoying the opportunity to do things on her own. She has a fat little spear-shaped spoon that she's able to get into her mouth. She doesn't really scoop on her own yet, but if I scoop up the gruel, she can get it into her mouth.

Baby puffs are standard around these parts, but Brystol also loves to eat whole black beans. While other beans are still too firm, black beans are soft when served straight out of the can and easy for a baby mouth to mash. They're especially delicious when eaten off your arm or your pants. As a bonus, black beans make a spectacular mess.

No matter what's on the menu, making a mess is key...

... it guarantees a bath in the sink!